I don't know how to feel about this (hear me out)

[Thenotoman]

So lately I've been contemplating with my life and wonder why do I feel like so. Just a little context, im a malay 25 yo guy in my final year in uni. I'm pretty well built similar to that of zac efron skinnier days but sadly am short.

I don't know how to describe it. I just feel lost and unsure to make off these things that are unfolding before me at this point of my life. I'm 25, never had a girlfriend, never went on a proper date, visited FL and had a few one off sex with I'd put it less flattering girls who are so often not locals and are overweight. But that's besides the point. What I'm trying to convey here is that lately I feel lost. Everyone around me especially my male friends are getting sex easily from girls both online (tinder, okc, etc) and offline (halls, clubs, bars). I've tried doing the said above but to no vail. Matches on online dating apps are mostly girl who are pious and Conservative. While offline.... All it never really seem to workout cause i get turned down instantly for my height.

So that being said, I'm not actively seeking for sex nor am I interested in looking for a steady relationship. What I really want is to not be horny and wanting to jump into whatever app, dating scenes, hear stories from my friend's sexcapades just to feel like I need to find a girl to have sex to feel great.

I feel so lost cause everyone around me is constantly talking about the girls they hooked up with while all these while I'm struggling to even find someone to have sex and I mean anyone be it a maid, or old lady whatever to just blow my load off. Yet at the same time I don't feel like I want to indulge in these sort of activities because I know I couldn't get any.

So at the end I try to distance myself away from them and not talk about girls for the time being but whenever the conversation starts again about them screwing some juicy hot syt, I get horny again and download all those apps only to be disappointed again because I couldn't get any matches.

Not sure if it's anything to do with my race but I doubt so. Even malay girls don't look at me the same (well maybe the pious fat tudung kind).

Just to conclude, I'm just lost and don't know what sort of advice I'm looking for. I kinda don't want to look for sex or be in a relationship but I can't help but feel the need to do so cause I'm just fucking horny all the time

[MeetYourFapper]

Take it slowly man. I have friends similar to ur situation too I supposed. When it comes it will come.

[sexbaby]

Originally Posted by Thenotoman

So lately I've been contemplating with my life and wonder why do I feel like so. Just a little context, im a malay 25 yo guy in my final year in uni. I'm pretty well built similar to that of zac efron skinnier days but sadly am short.

I don't know how to describe it. I just feel lost and unsure to make off these things that are unfolding before me at this point of my life. I'm 25, never had a girlfriend, never went on a proper date, visited FL and had a few one off sex with I'd put it less flattering girls who are so often not locals and are overweight. But that's besides the point. What I'm trying to convey here is that lately I feel lost. Everyone around me especially my male friends are getting sex easily from girls both online (tinder, okc, etc) and offline (halls, clubs, bars). I've tried doing the said above but to no vail. Matches on online dating apps are mostly girl who are pious and Conservative. While offline.... All it never really seem to workout cause i get turned down instantly for my height.

So that being said, I'm not actively seeking for sex nor am I interested in looking for a steady relationship. What I really want is to not be horny and wanting to jump into whatever app, dating scenes, hear stories from my friend's sexcapades just to feel like I need to find a girl to have sex to feel great.

I feel so lost cause everyone around me is constantly talking about the girls they hooked up with while all these while I'm struggling to even find someone to have sex and I mean anyone be it a maid, or old lady whatever to just blow my load off. Yet at the same time I don't feel like I want to indulge in these sort of activities because I know I couldn't get any.

So at the end I try to distance myself away from them and not talk about girls for the time being but whenever the conversation starts again about them screwing some juicy hot syt, I get horny again and download all those apps only to be disappointed again because I couldn't get any matches.

Not sure if it's anything to do with my race but I doubt so. Even malay girls don't look at me the same (well maybe the pious fat tudung kind).

Just to conclude, I'm just lost and don't know what sort of advice I'm looking for. I kinda don't want to look for sex or be in a relationship but I can't help but feel the need to do so cause I'm just fucking horny all the time

You just need to feel good and be confident to carry yourself and hold a good conversation.
I have friends who’s like 165cm dating girls 172cm air hostess
No need to rush, focus on finishing your uni first, it will come when times is right

[poongko]

Live in mountain for 1 year. You will be strong. No need think of horny.

[peregrene]

Sounds like you have low self-esteem bro. Lots go through it in their life. I had it at one time too

To boost your self-esteem, you need to identify the negative beliefs you have about yourself, then challenge them.

You may tell yourself you're "too stupid" to apply for a new job, for example, or that "nobody cares" about you.

Start to note these negative thoughts and write them on a piece of paper or in a diary. Ask yourself when you first started to think these thoughts.

Next, start to write some evidence that challenges these negative beliefs, such as, "I'm really good at cryptic crosswords" or "My sister calls for a chat every week".

Write down other positive things about yourself, such as "I'm thoughtful" or "I'm a great cook" or "I'm someone that others trust".

You will get out of it.

[larue]

Originally Posted by peregrene

Sounds like you have low self-esteem bro. Lots go through it in their life. I had it at one time too

To boost your self-esteem, you need to identify the negative beliefs you have about yourself, then challenge them.

You may tell yourself you're "too stupid" to apply for a new job, for example, or that "nobody cares" about you.

Start to note these negative thoughts and write them on a piece of paper or in a diary. Ask yourself when you first started to think these thoughts.

Next, start to write some evidence that challenges these negative beliefs, such as, "I'm really good at cryptic crosswords" or "My sister calls for a chat every week".

Write down other positive things about yourself, such as "I'm thoughtful" or "I'm a great cook" or "I'm someone that others trust".

You will get out of it.

OP: you have been given good advice like this time after time over the years which you seem determined not to take. So carry on with the self pity and see you again on a couple of years.

Or since internet advice isn’t working for you, go find some face to face advice. Someone who will actually apply pressure on you to change because you have clearly gotten too comfortable in your pathetic state with no real desire or ability to break out of it.

[mattrayham]

Hey bro, I can get what you're going through. I'm 37 now, but I remember when I was 24 ~ 25 like that I went through similar experiences.

I admit it outright - I'm addicted to sex - but I think sex is natural and there's healthy ways to express it, and there are unhealthy ways.

Try see what you can control and what you can't control. Accept yourself as you are.

For the sexual urges - if masturbation to porn is the best way you can deal with it - then deal with it that way and try not to moralise or judge yourself too much - and accept it, appreciate it, enjoy it.

And if you can afford the chiong-ing lifestyle, visit FLs once in a while and enjoy yourself.

Then also find another creative or practical outlet - what line of work do you want to do? What skills can you take up? It takes time to find your passion or work you enjoy - then slowly you can consider 'transmuting' your sexual energy a bit into your non-sex-related passion.

When I was 25, I felt lost too. Now at 37 I feel a little less lost hahah, but I am still okay mostly and happy, got ups and downs, cycles of occasional depression, but there are ways to manage it lah...

Support from friends also important. Have someone to talk to honestly and openly.

Try not to link things to your race. I'm also fellow Malay. Not good for self-esteem, you might internalise the stereotypes. Find friends outside your normal social circles, different races, backgrounds.

I have a best Indian-mixed friend, but I am also close with like Chinese, Ang Moh friends, etc. You need to 'absorb' different vibes from different people so you don't feel trapped in this idea or image of yourself.

[mattrayham]

Also just to add, consider some life coaching. Hahah in here I am a sexual beast but outside I'm actually undergoing some training to be a life coach also among other skills.

If you want, hit me up in private messages, we can talk more.

[medonknowu]

you are on the edgy of been blackpilled bro , look up blackpilled on google then probably you will have the answers you wanted.

[itguy2008]

Originally Posted by Thenotoman

So lately I've been contemplating with my life and wonder why do I feel like so. Just a little context, im a malay 25 yo guy in my final year in uni. I'm pretty well built similar to that of zac efron skinnier days but sadly am short.

I don't know how to describe it. I just feel lost and unsure to make off these things that are unfolding before me at this point of my life. I'm 25, never had a girlfriend, never went on a proper date, visited FL and had a few one off sex with I'd put it less flattering girls who are so often not locals and are overweight. But that's besides the point. What I'm trying to convey here is that lately I feel lost. Everyone around me especially my male friends are getting sex easily from girls both online (tinder, okc, etc) and offline (halls, clubs, bars). I've tried doing the said above but to no vail. Matches on online dating apps are mostly girl who are pious and Conservative. While offline.... All it never really seem to workout cause i get turned down instantly for my height.

So that being said, I'm not actively seeking for sex nor am I interested in looking for a steady relationship. What I really want is to not be horny and wanting to jump into whatever app, dating scenes, hear stories from my friend's sexcapades just to feel like I need to find a girl to have sex to feel great.

I feel so lost cause everyone around me is constantly talking about the girls they hooked up with while all these while I'm struggling to even find someone to have sex and I mean anyone be it a maid, or old lady whatever to just blow my load off. Yet at the same time I don't feel like I want to indulge in these sort of activities because I know I couldn't get any.

So at the end I try to distance myself away from them and not talk about girls for the time being but whenever the conversation starts again about them screwing some juicy hot syt, I get horny again and download all those apps only to be disappointed again because I couldn't get any matches.

Not sure if it's anything to do with my race but I doubt so. Even malay girls don't look at me the same (well maybe the pious fat tudung kind).

Just to conclude, I'm just lost and don't know what sort of advice I'm looking for. I kinda don't want to look for sex or be in a relationship but I can't help but feel the need to do so cause I'm just fucking horny all the time

Bro, take it slow. Now focus on completing your last year with flying colours. Lots of girls in the market but uni can only do once unless you wanna repeat la. hahaha.

Horny, practise from masturbation. Learn how to control your erection for longer and longer time. Remember what girls always say hor. Size not important, you must know how to use it. One of the criteria is can last long.

[blitzkrieg]

one piece of advice that works across every aspect of your life.
Be comfortable with who you are, and not chase after everything.
I'm not asking you to settle with what you can get, but trust me, what the bros here said are all quite true, have confidence in yourself and girls will come.

work on your character and how you present yourself (and i mean this not from a physical aspect). the way you talk about what you're interested in, your passions, etc. these are actually more attractive to women when you show that there's a deeper side to you than just a good body or a handsome face.

the mindset change isn't going to be easy, but if you go on those apps, make sure you're doing it to pass time. don't view every match as someone you want/need to fuck. i've matched girls who became friends, and they've introduced their friends to me.

it's perfectly normal to feel dejected with life. i'm sure we've all been through that stage or are going through it even now. take the time to improve on yourself. learn a new skill, read some books, or make friends outside your circle and learn from other people's experiences.

we're all fucking horny all the time too! how you deal with it defines you as a person, like some bros here mentioned, jerk off, watch some porn, and don't moralise it, or judge yourself for it.

we're all humans, after all.

[randyrockhard]

People would reach different stages in their life at their owm pace. Some just managed to get their shits together more than the others.

Sex is important but not everything. Life is much more than that. Seriously.

Have a good look at yourself and answer a really hard question. What can you offer to others? That could overcome all those negative traits.

Tom Cruise is only 170 cm, which by Hollywood standard is short. Danny De Vito is short too. Have it stopped them from achieving?

Women would naturally gravitate towards your sphere if you make yourself better and more desirable.

Be better and desirable

[poongko]

I had my first gf in age 27.

Than single for 7 years.

I know it is urge to have partner and sometime want to sex.

You need to mentally control yourself.

Remember this..... NO $ NO honey.

Build up your career first.... in mid age..... Girls will find you rather than you find them.

[thor1981]

Hi Bro Thenotoman

I'm now an old uncle (turn 41 this year) but I remember those days of 24-25 like it was yesterday. I am also not so tall (170 cm) and used to think that's why girls dont date me - DEAD WRONG! Height can HELP, but it DOES NOT hinder if your attitude is strong. I will share my big change of thinking from those days to now, and I hope it is helpful to you :

I thought i needed to be good looking, rich, tall, muscular, great body, to be able to attract and keep girls.

Yes, I found this helps the initial attraction (i.e. the first 60 seconds) with any girl, but then it becomes 100% pure pscyhology la.

Basically every girl is reactive and is looking for a man someone who will keep her stimulated, excited in life (good food, nature, shows, fucking... each girl different, but all want stimulation). And she is subconsciously looking for a man better than her PSYCHOLOGICALLY - so that's why nice guy who put women on Goddess pedestal (like i used to do), never succeed with women. But a short guy who is HUMBLE but not looking up to women, will succeed.

Anyway, you do this by being the best version of your self so YOU feel 100% confident and humble with your acheivements. When you feel 100% confident, women will feel comfortable and want to be around you. When you are still 100% confident around her, and not intimidated, the attraction grows.

Every girl "pretend" to be pious n conservative - because every girl have a reputation to protect (in every country lol not just SG) ... but if they sense you are a confident man, who knows how to pleasure her physically, and will not ruin her reputation, even the most standoffish SQ girl will spread her legs or ass cheeks for you, because she wants to be around your confidence.

Anyway bro, just be confident, have a life worth living and stay high energy whether girls are around you or not .. and let them come to you leh. GOOD LUCK, please reach out if I can provide more advice. Take care.

[iloveu4ever]

Alamak...you again...always asking for advice and many has given u before in the past....amd now u are back again asking the same advice as u are in the same situation

Maybe you are not fit to be a real man after all. Why dun u go for op and be a lady instead? Seriously...the way you talk...being a girl suit you.

No offence to all the lovely ladies out there....