8 Bad Reasons to Hold Onto A Relationship

[Notary]

No one in his right mind would want to fall sick by consuming a rotten apple. Yes, apples do go bad and this is the same for a relationship; being in a rotten one could let your entire life fall really ill. Unfortunately, people hold firmly onto their relationships with senseless reasoning and by reading this post, I hope you'll NOT be able to identify yourself in here - if you do, I pray that you'll find courage to throw away your rotten apple(s).



8 Bad Reasons to Hold Onto A Relationship



1. Virginity



"Virginity is such a personal thing.
You can't judge anyone on it.
A lot of young women feel they want to save themselves for the man who they think they'll love forever."

- Joyce Brothers



My virginity is very special, nothing else is more sacred in this world. With this thought, the girl sacrifices her soul for the prince charming of her dreams and soon realises that it was about to become a nightmare. For the girl, it was her everything, for the prince, it was just sex.



I am not downplaying the value of a woman's virginity, but staying with someone just because you allowed your hymen to be snapped wide open by him does not necessarily make him the right lifetime partner for you.



Everyone would want their "first time" to be special, amazing and unforgettable. Sure, then make it special, buy some Ylang Ylang scented candles, dim the light, get yourselves into a 5 star hotel and then ride away into oblivion. However, this does not mean that you'll have to hold onto this apple if it is already rotten.



2. Time



You might be dating for 6 long years now and things have already grown cold. Somewhere deep in your heart, you know for a fact that your partner is not for you, getting married would only magnify the current recurring quarrels and problems. But... but... but... we've been together for 6 years! It's a pity to just break up like that.



I was on a lunch date once and things went pretty well until the end of the meal, the girl spoke to me like my mum asking me to finish my food and highlighting that there are a lot of hungry African people living in poverty and I should not waste food. I replied sarcastically saying that I would get the Service Crew to pack the left overs and I'll courier it to Africa. No matter how much more I eat, I am not able to change what is happening in Africa, in fact, the more I force myself to finish my food, the higher the chance of me becoming overweight and getting a heart disease.



People like to say that since they have already invested so much money, since work was already done, since time was already spent and etc let's just continue otherwise it would be such a waste. But money, time and effort had already been spent, why continue to waste more of those precious elements unless there is a clear indication of success?



This is the same for being in a relationship, being together for a long time does not mean that you would have to continue to suffer in hell. Make a decision to walk out of pain and stop being a victim of the Sunk Cost Fallacy.



3. Habit



Aristotle once said that "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit." Repeatedly soaking yourself in excellence breeds excellence, repeatedly soaking yourself in a dying relationship breeds pain and suffering.



You go to the movies every weekend with your boyfriend, have family dinners every Tuesdays and religiously report to him on the phone at 11:00 PM right before you sleep. You are afraid that breaking up with him would thrust your life into a tailspin, you are afraid of the emptiness and uncertainty for what is to come. Therefore, you remain status quo.



When you have a child in future and if he develops the bad habit of biting his nails, will you sit there and do nothing about it? If you are all in for eliminating bad habits, maybe you should not be keeping yours.



4. Parents



I have a friend, Roslan, who is about to get married. I asked him how did he come about this decision, and he said it was last week when they were all having dinner at some classy country club and Roslan's parents voiced out saying that it is about time that they should tie the knot.



Mum: "The both of you are already together for so long, it is time to get married."
Roslan: "......"
Mum: "How about end of this year before Christmas?"
Dad: "Yes! Yes! Best time to get married! Congratulations to the both of you!"
Roslan's Fiance: *Big Wide Smile*



How many of you think that the above is a receipe for disaster? Getting married is a lifetime decision, it has tons of legal and social implications. You do not want to enter into a marriage and end up fighting fire everyday. This is your life and you jolly well choose your soulmate by your own standards, not your parents'.



5. Face / Ego



"You know, when I sit in meetings and things are very tense and people take things extremely seriously and they invest a lot of their ego, I sometimes think to myself, 'Come on, you know, there's life and there's death and there is love.' And all of that ego business is nonsense compared to that."

- Christine Lagarde



Ego can be a very bad thing, it could drive you to a place of no return. I believe it is always good to bare yourself fully to your other half, never fuel your relationship with ego. When you are wrong, apologise, when you want something, ask. Your partner should be the closest person to your heart therefore, fear not.



When things are beyond repair and if it is time to separate, do you have the balls to initiate a goodbye? What would my friends think of me? What would my parents think of me? People would think that I am very bad at handling relationships, people would think that I am a playboy, people would think that I am a failure and etc.



But what others think, in this case, is not important because you can never please everyone no matter what you do. You have to do the right thing and not just allow your ego to steer your path. Yes, you are an social celebrity and you need to protect your face but don't you need to protect your future too?



6. Age



In China there is a saying that men at the age of 40 is a beautiful stalk of flower and women at the age of 30 has expired. If you are a girl and you are sticking to your boyfriend because you are "expiring" and you are expecting that he will propose soon, think again. Do not rush into being in a long-term committed relationship just because age is catching up. This just doesn't make sense at all.



I was counselling a girl not too long ago and I told her that a real attractive woman needs to have inner beauty and not just physical qualities. What is on the surface will fade away over time but what is in her (example: talents, values, love, character and etc.) will stay with her till the day she dies.



Getting old can be a terrifying thing, but believe me, everyone has their market, you won't be left out. Take time to find someone you are comfortable with.



7. Money



If you are sticking to your partner just because he or his family is super rich, you might really want to reconsider this move again. If you are saying that money is one of the most important things in the whole wide world, I cannot disagree with you. If you being in that relationship could guarantee yourself becoming a multi-millionaire, then it might still be worth it. Unfortunately, many believe that they could lead a comfortable life but in the end, they end up being tangled up in false hope.



"Do not judge a person by his bank account but instead, judge him by his character and potential. This is how all women should search for their husbands."

- Tary Chen



Question is, what happens if your rich spouse suddenly becomes poorer than a homeless man because he was caught in a legal battle and ended up declaring bankrupt? Money could be one of the characteristics you look for in a relationship but it cannot be ALL that you are looking for.



8. Social Pressure



Friends can be good for your life but sometimes friends can destroy your very being. Heard of this familiar phrase before? "With friends like this who needs enemies?". Human beings are subjected to negative feelings like jealousy, hatred and tons of psychological illnesses. You are the master of your own life, you know yourself better than anyone, your path is your own game.



You need to take responsibility and ownership of your own life and decisions, you do not want to just go around asking your 8-ball friends for relationship advice. Hold on a second, I'm not saying that you cannot open up to your friends but you have to be very sure that you would not take advice as a verdict.



You do not want to continue being with Adam just because your best friend said so. For all you know maybe your best friend is in love with Adam and she's got a misguided impression of him. Ohhh.. No.... she's my best friend she wouldn't be in love with Adam... Sure, being naive is one thing but allowing your naivety obliterate your life is just you being unfair to yourself.





This article is originally written by Notary, for usage, please ask for permission.

[JoannaJourney]

I hold on because of love. I let go because he betrayed me, twice.

[cocky1234]

No 8 got me.. i love a girl with my heart. because of my parents demand me to find a Buddhist girl, must be malaysian, end up i must break up.

sometimes really feel want to shout my parents wtf

[thewildone]

Originally Posted by cocky1234

No 8 got me.. i love a girl with my heart. because of my parents demand me to find a Buddhist girl, must be malaysian, end up i must break up.

sometimes really feel want to shout my parents wtf

Make your first S$10m. Then marry African also can.

[middleofnowhere]

Very valid points... All of those resonate with me. FML.

[SureWinnner]

Give me 8 numbers to strike $$7m

[Notary]

Originally Posted by thewildone

Make your first S$10m. Then marry African also can.

In absolute agreement with you!
+2 humble points!

[Notary]

Originally Posted by JoannaJourney

I hold on because of love. I let go because he betrayed me, twice.

I'm sorry to hear that. I hope you've since recovered fully.

[hugs]

Good read and points to ponder. Thanks ts.

[Uncle2015]

Bro Notary

Glad that you are back.

This article, I couldn't understand much, too chim. Will eagerly wait for your next publication.

[Notary]

Originally Posted by Uncle2015

Bro Notary

Glad that you are back.

This article, I couldn't understand much, too chim. Will eagerly wait for your next publication.

I'm not back, wrote this article for a relationship blog just thought that I'll share with the bros here.

[Notary]

Originally Posted by SureWinnner

Give me 8 numbers to strike $$7m

I don't really have to. You're the SureWinner already :P

[Bullshitlar]

Originally Posted by JoannaJourney

I hold on because of love. I let go because he betrayed me, twice.

Ya i know that feeling. Hurts like hell, odd thing was my ex been cheated on before so many times and she can do the same to me. Lies non stop.

This is a sex forum but it still feel odd to some people advocating and having fun cheating. Nobody stop to think about the responsibility and consequences... immature or just plain dont care.

[arsenal_84]

Originally Posted by Bullshitlar

This is a sex forum but it still feel odd to some people advocating and having fun cheating. Nobody stop to think about the responsibility and consequences... immature or just plain dont care.

well in the heat of the moment, ppl do things can can be stupid without even thinking about the consequences.
however when their behavior becomes a habit (no matter what great physical aspects) then is perhaps best to let go else your sanity will get the better of you eventually.
a mental breakdown is no joke when it comes to dealing with a cheating partner.

[seenehji]

you can hold doesn't mean the other half can hold.