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  #1  
Old 24-07-2012, 12:28 AM
kittymeow kittymeow is offline
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when i'm expecting

Need some insights on how should I carry on with this.

Currently I'm expecting, both of us are excited and happy about this.

The thing is, I have always been a horny gal. I am always game to have it all day all night long and I think I have gotten even hornier now. I have always been the one initiating sex, sometimes he will want but most of the time, he will say he's tired.

I have caught him finding FLs and divorce was on the table before. Yet, I forgave him.
Recently found him looking at FLs site, can't help thinking that he can't fight the temptation again , plus seeing numbers that resembles the advertised number on the site, can't help doubting.

With all these rejections of sex and FLs site visiting, how can I not let my thoughts go wild?
  #2  
Old 24-07-2012, 08:29 AM
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Re: when i'm expecting

Theres a saying, "A leopard won't change its spots" n this applies to him 100%.
Don't hang onto the false hope that he will change.

It's either u drop him or accept his flaws. However pls pls refrain from unprotected sex with him especially u r pregnant now. the baby is innocent.
  #3  
Old 24-07-2012, 09:13 AM
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Re: when i'm expecting

Some men find it hard to have sex with their pregnant wife. There is some fear that they might be jeopardising the pregnancy through sex. Of course there are enough studies to show sex is still possible during pregnancy but sometimes it boils down to personal choice. Perhaps he isn't having sex with you for this reason.

I have been in a relationship with a sex-crazed lady before. It was great in the beginning. Soon I realised she likes to take control and direct the love-making in terms of frequency and style. Imagine just cum only, before I can withdraw my penis, she say 'again'. I say I need time to recover and she replied 'how come last bf no need time to recover but you need?' It's quite a put-off as guys like to direct most of the time instead of being directed all of the time during sex. Are you like this during sex? Girls might think that if there is sex, things are fine but guys do consider about how sex is being conducted as well.

Is it possible for you to close 1 eye on him visiting fls? Better than having a mistress outside right? As long as he takes precaution and don't bring any diseases home, is that acceptable to you? Can your stand on this change as both of you mature in your marriage?
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  #4  
Old 24-07-2012, 11:19 AM
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Re: when i'm expecting

Quote:
Originally Posted by kittymeow View Post
Need some insights on how should I carry on with this.

Currently I'm expecting, both of us are excited and happy about this.

The thing is, I have always been a horny gal. I am always game to have it all day all night long and I think I have gotten even hornier now. I have always been the one initiating sex, sometimes he will want but most of the time, he will say he's tired.

I have caught him finding FLs and divorce was on the table before. Yet, I forgave him.
Recently found him looking at FLs site, can't help thinking that he can't fight the temptation again , plus seeing numbers that resembles the advertised number on the site, can't help doubting.

With all these rejections of sex and FLs site visiting
Both of you needs to have a common understanding that having a baby is the most wonderful thing both of you have ever experienced in your life and that you 2 horny fellows needs to take responsibility to ensure the growing fetus receives the essential nourishment for development of important body organs and structures. NOT nourishment for your pussy or his cock!

Man!!!! Why engaged in unprotected seow-kan and having a baby while both of you are not ready with unsettling doubts? Or both of you prefer to battle in out in court after childbirth for custody? Trash it out with your horny hubby ASAP la
  #5  
Old 24-07-2012, 11:33 AM
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Re: when i'm expecting

Quote:
Originally Posted by kittymeow View Post
Need some insights on how should I carry on with this.

Currently I'm expecting, both of us are excited and happy about this.

The thing is, I have always been a horny gal. I am always game to have it all day all night long and I think I have gotten even hornier now. I have always been the one initiating sex, sometimes he will want but most of the time, he will say he's tired.

I have caught him finding FLs and divorce was on the table before. Yet, I forgave him.
Recently found him looking at FLs site, can't help thinking that he can't fight the temptation again , plus seeing numbers that resembles the advertised number on the site, can't help doubting.

With all these rejections of sex and FLs site visiting, how can I not let my thoughts go wild?
you didn't say how long have you been expecting. But your gyne would have told you that its alright to continue to have sex during pregnancy and there are some positions that more comfortable and safer during pregnancy.

Explore with him why he wants to go to fl, and what he like to do to the FL. Visit the FL sites with him. Read the FR comments together with him and discuss if thats how he would write. Get him to write little FRs in a private blog (set it to private so it can't be searched on google). Get him to write about you on this private blog, on how he sees your body changing, and everytime he is horny, post and fantasize about what he is going to do to you when he comes home, so you can start anticipating.

The idea of the exercise is to tune back his brain, so that he is fantasizing about you, in a world where FLs exist, and not wishing and praying for a world without them. You can definitely still use your mouth during pregnancy

But you can divorce him too if you find yourself filled with negative thoughts and find someone else that is nice to you, marry him to be the child's father too.
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  #6  
Old 24-07-2012, 11:35 AM
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Re: when i'm expecting

Marriage is a sacrament.
Having a baby together is a responsibility pact made in heaven.
If ur hubby steals food outside but still loves n does not neglect u, then u shud not look for trouble till trouble troubles u.
Some men, like me, r so afraid of even touching the Mrs when she's preggers, let alone hv any form of intercourse.
By the looks of the whole scenario, i get the feeling the baby was made to keep the 2 of u together, not because u 2 wanted a kid!
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是你的,就是你的。
不是你的,不要抢!

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  #7  
Old 24-07-2012, 11:37 AM
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Re: when i'm expecting

Quote:
Originally Posted by kittymeow View Post
Need some insights on how should I carry on with this.

Currently I'm expecting, both of us are excited and happy about this.

The thing is, I have always been a horny gal. I am always game to have it all day all night long and I think I have gotten even hornier now. I have always been the one initiating sex, sometimes he will want but most of the time, he will say he's tired.

I have caught him finding FLs and divorce was on the table before. Yet, I forgave him.
Recently found him looking at FLs site, can't help thinking that he can't fight the temptation again , plus seeing numbers that resembles the advertised number on the site, can't help doubting.

With all these rejections of sex and FLs site visiting, how can I not let my thoughts go wild?
there are alot of marriages that survive cheating

then again there are those that do not

it really depends on which part of the statistics you want to be on
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  #8  
Old 24-07-2012, 11:41 AM
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Re: when i'm expecting

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shadow_warrior View Post
there are alot of marriages that survive cheating

then again there are those that do not

it really depends on which part of the statistics you want to be on
Agree. It takes two hands to clap and two to put in effort to make it last.
  #9  
Old 24-07-2012, 11:45 AM
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Re: when i'm expecting

Many young couple fail the realise the purpose of having a baby to complete their marriage & when is the correct time to hv a bady.
Most common seen reasons for having a baby is:
1) Not getting younger
2) Getting bored wif each liao
3) Saving their relationship using the baby as a bonding agent
4) Hoping the other party will maintain his/her fidelity

Wat they dun understand is, honeymoon is over, now its time to really build a life together & time to expand their nucleus & share their love to their own created immediate family.
When one reaches this stage, his/her mind shud & must be readily conditioned, end of party, end of pubbing, end of drunk nites etc.
I have failed in this area, badly, I admit but i am blessed wif a very forgiving family & now, I am giving back every second every minute I deprived them of years ago.
Moral of the story is, no matter where one goes or how one goes astray, he/she will still come home one day.
The only time to call it quits is, when he/she doesn't call his/her home, home anymore!
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The Choices We Make, Dictate The Life We Lead!!!
The 4 Golden Rules in life:
1) 不要欺骗自己
2) 不要出卖自己
3) 不要背叛自己
4) 不要对不起自己

是你的,就是你的。
不是你的,不要抢!

人之所以快乐,不是因为得到的多、而是因为计较的少
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  #10  
Old 24-07-2012, 12:00 PM
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Re: when i'm expecting

Anyway, TS, you may wish to seek alternate opinions from organizations such as Marriage Central and National Family Council alone or with your hubby

The clock is ticking
  #11  
Old 24-07-2012, 12:05 PM
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Re: when i'm expecting

Maybe he find it hard to have normal sex wif u tat y he lookin for fl out there . So jus let him koe tat both of u still can have sex bt nt to wild as it maybe hurt ur baby do let him koe or ask him wats the prob . Women when expecting like u r so sexy lo. Do let mi koe if u gt any problem cheers sis
  #12  
Old 24-07-2012, 12:52 PM
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Re: when i'm expecting

Having said that

I met a couple the other day

Young man, wife just gave birth, few months old baby

I look at the wife, damn she is hot and sexy, miracle how she maintained it

The husband was fucking other girls after he saw her give birth, citing that he

saw the baby head come out, and he was grossed out- his own baby. He

claims he cannot think of his wife that way anymore, in bed

So he goes for sex tours, has a viet gf, etc....

Some men dont know a good thing till its gone.

If the wife cheated back, I wouldnt pity him.
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  #13  
Old 25-07-2012, 09:36 AM
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Re: when i'm expecting

Hey all

appreciate the two cents worth given.

we still make out but that's like after umpteen times of me initiating and this sometimes, do make me feel like he might be just doing his duty and not enjoying it with me.

I always try to do things which make him tick, less of a dictator here. I know the importance of intimacy even when i'm expecting.

I see the idea - 'as long as he comes home, i should let him do whatever he wants outside' is much supported here.. I certainly do not know if I can do that, I doubt so.

I just couldn't discard the negative thoughts that are creeping into my mind.
  #14  
Old 25-07-2012, 01:24 PM
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Re: when i'm expecting

Quote:
Originally Posted by kittymeow View Post
Hey all

I see the idea - 'as long as he comes home, i should let him do whatever he wants outside' is much supported here.. I certainly do not know if I can do that, I doubt so.

I just couldn't discard the negative thoughts that are creeping into my mind.
sis, prepare the worst and dream of the best, if you insist ... Good luck to you
  #15  
Old 25-07-2012, 01:52 PM
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Re: when i'm expecting

Quote:
Originally Posted by kittymeow View Post
Hey all

appreciate the two cents worth given.

we still make out but that's like after umpteen times of me initiating and this sometimes, do make me feel like he might be just doing his duty and not enjoying it with me.

I always try to do things which make him tick, less of a dictator here. I know the importance of intimacy even when i'm expecting.

I see the idea - 'as long as he comes home, i should let him do whatever he wants outside' is much supported here.. I certainly do not know if I can do that, I doubt so.

I just couldn't discard the negative thoughts that are creeping into my mind.
as I said here

there are alot of marriages that survive cheating

then again there are those that do not

it really depends on which part of the statistics you want to be on

are you prepared to move on with your baby alone?

are you prepared to bring your child up single handedly

do you want your child to not have a father?

These are serious issues one has to address, over the nagging feeling of

being cheated. 100 years ago people get stone or drowned for cheating, in some countries they still do. But now its legal to

cheat and break marriage vows, there are mere legal consequences, because marriage is reduced to a mere piece of paper

But me thinks, its more than that, and getting through good and bad times is the true essense.

Is he right to cheat, no...but then again men's understanding of cheating with

commercial sex is not the same as women. Thats another can of worms and

we can go into long thesis on if the women do the same etc....

None of these discussions will help your situation. It is what it is, recognise

it and decide what you want to do

If he falls in love with a wl, fl and I have met many men like that, you dont

get to choose anymore.
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