Sad Man

[NewandLost]

I'm not really into the "commercial" scense but discovered this site and the "heart thread" after looking around on the Internet for help. Mx ex PRC GF had spent time in Singapore about 4 to 5 years ago with her sister. Is it possible she was a former KTV gal? We fought a lot over money with her saying men should pay for everything. I helped her with her business which failed, bought groceries, and gifts (though never an LV bad or anything outlandish). In the end she said I made her feel cheap but over the course of about a year it was my guess over 250K RMB. We broke up over my suspiciones of her having another BF (phone calls late at night, vacations for one week by herself, etc). I got a lot of pressure to purchase an apt for her because her GF's BF had done so, wanted a car, tuition, etc. She had a lot of problems with her family and I was her savior but not we are broke up. I even helped with her things (money) immediately after we broke up. We were to meet for CNY but before meeting I told her she had lost my trust because of the past. She wanted to forget and I stopped contact with her. Two months later I try to contact her and she refuses to answer. Im CBC so clueless about PRC women and CH dating customs. One thing is for sure this gal is still in my heart. Did I make the wrong call? I'm probably never going to get answers from her. One she is extremely sensitive and doesnt like confrontation and I dont think she will take my calls again. Some things hat bothered me which she said while we were together in addition to the unexplained abscences not sometimes not being reachable late at night (one time caught her at a nightclub) are she once said to me I can get this from any man, I can get 20K RMB by just going out to dinner and entertainment but nothing else with another man. Hope you can help. I'm looking for closure. Stll have a heavy heart but I also feel like the relationship was not real. I did meet her family and spent a lot of time with them. Thanks.

[pewpew]

You are just another mobile ATM machine to her, enough said.

[yourDoctor]

well...
bro...
it's kinda sad to hear your story.
but yeah when you attach feeling into something, the thing becomes serious
so...my advice is to get to know her very well and then u can try attaching your feeling towards her
spending money for a woman is somekind of investment~ so...investments are mostly risky
u gotta know the benefits...
before u know the benefits (maybe marriage or FB), just try to avoid making BIG investments..hehe..
cheers bro..

[abuja]

Originally Posted by NewandLost

..with her saying men should pay for everything... she once said to me I can get this from any man, I can get 20K RMB by just going out to dinner and entertainment but nothing else with another man.

Forget her. She's only interested in your money and she doesn't need you now that she's found richer and more generous suckers. Besides calling you "lau gong" to your face and "sucker" behind your back, what else did she do for you in return for the money you spent? Did you get sex 7 times a day every day? You could have gone to Geylang instead of being emotionally harassed. You'll still be broke but happy.

[swiftee]

You already know what is happening behind your back just that you refuse to accept the truth. Go out and find someone that truly love you and will stick to you thru thick and thin.

[NewandLost]

I know. All of you make solid points. Now one wants to think they were used. But hey better to lose a relatively small amount versus going bankrupt which I have read on the other boards. Is this common practice for a "normal" PRC gal to make such demands. I mean for a woman who say one has dated for 5 years or even less and you knew there would be an engagement or some type of committment tested over time I wouldnt question doing the things she asked for. It might be my refusal to face the truth but this gal does have a lot of problems with her family. Like I said I was her savior and feel like I've cut her off in a way hence some guilt on my part. I just dont like the lack of communication on things like faithfulness. I mean the phone calls, cutting dates short on weekends, and vacations along to me are not normal. On the trips she said it was due to her family problems and need to get away alone. She does have problems where she would stay at home alone in crisis. I always felt if I could not breaktrough and get her out of it then maybe we were not compatible. It was tough. My guess is she feels like I stood her up for CNY but what was I to do? Get together with her in a situation where there was no reconciliation and discussion of past things that bothered me and then as you guys say on the other threads become a carrott again and get chopped up having to give money to her. I'm not that weak although if we could discuss things and I beleived her I could be generous. ITs amazing one loses all their street smarts when emotion come into play sometimes but I remained strong. Just that doubt on whether I made a mistake.

[goodpartner]

From teh way u describe her demands, I'll say ditch her man.
Even if she's not a PRC.
But read all other PRC related thread around here and you'll know the trend is similar, met family no big deal lah.

Seek another heart soul to tie over this period and you'll be another new man!

I didn't imply joining us here in the commercial scene hor, although you now have the best excuse to do so and not feel too bad about it!

[NewandLost]

Also some of the reasons why I think it was not an ATM play are she cried a lot when we parted, cried when I wouldn't cave into her requests. But I have also seen this girl disrespect me like after an argument the next day she wanted a new mobile phone. The other one really did drop in the toilet. Just confused and sad guys.

[DO_YOU_BJ]

You shouldnt be a sad man, you should be a VERY HAPPY man.
I'll explain along your post and you'll see why.......

I'm not really into the "commercial" scense but discovered this site and the "heart thread" after looking around on the Internet for help. Mx ex PRC GF had spent time in Singapore about 4 to 5 years ago with her sister. Is it possible she was a former KTV gal?
It is very possible. What was she doin here in the 1st place?

We fought a lot over money with her saying men should pay for everything.
These gals r very common in China.
They feel that men shud UPKEEP them and pay for everything, from panty liners to mobile phone bills, they are leeches, a career as a matter of fact, once they've suck all the blood outta you, they'll move on to the next target

I helped her with her business which failed, bought groceries, and gifts (though never an LV bad or anything outlandish). In the end she said I made her feel cheap but over the course of about a year it was my guess over 250K RMB.
This is something you did at you own free will becos you FELT there was something REAL goin on

We broke up over my suspiciones of her having another BF (phone calls late at night, vacations for one week by herself, etc).
Isnt it already so obvious to you already?

I got a lot of pressure to purchase an apt for her because her GF's BF had done so, wanted a car, tuition, etc.
You do not have to spend money for have love from anyone, love is free, it come in attributes that does not have a price tag........if those things her friends BF can pressure you, then have you ever tot you may have an inferiority complex?

She had a lot of problems with her family and I was her savior but not we are broke up.
Everyone has probs but some probs are fabricated so that you will feel the need to be their knight in shining armour

I even helped with her things (money) immediately after we broke up.
Remember again, you gave willingly, no one put a gun on your head to force you to do anything.

We were to meet for CNY but before meeting I told her she had lost my trust because of the past. She wanted to forget and I stopped contact with her.
Its very clear that she has spilled the beans, being PRC, its a common trait for them to run once they cant sustain the lie or act anymore

Two months later I try to contact her and she refuses to answer.
You have done a grave wrong & injustice to yourself.
YOU CRAWLED BACK.
This shows your weakness towards her.
Your inability to live on without her is your biggest curse and her greatest weapon to ULTIMATE DOMINATION of you.

Im CBC so clueless about PRC women and CH dating customs.
These women are heartless, they'll act sad & very in love wif you when they need you or when you're the only source of financial support for them, once they have a better wealthier contender, they'll start showing their colours to you like what you have gone through

One thing is for sure this gal is still in my heart.
Of cos she is, after all you've been through and invested in this SO CALLED relationship but u cannot seem to understand why she treated you like that or didnt reciprocate to your investment in time, money & feelings to her

Did I make the wrong call? I'm probably never going to get answers from her.
You went into this with a HOPE希望 and thus you held on to it and invested to try to make it an everlasting dream & yes, you never will get an answer from her....

One she is extremely sensitive and doesnt like confrontation and I dont think she will take my calls again.
Let me correct you.
She's not sensitive.
Everytime you pry into her affairs or accuse her, she starts loosing her temper and wars erupt rite??????
This is the classic use the temper to get you into submission tactic so that they have a clean slate to run from that incident.
As for the calls, maybe she might, once she looses her new found financial institution or money tree.
But not acknowledging you now means she has no need for you in her life now cos she got it better $$$ than when she was with you.

Some things hat bothered me which she said while we were together in addition to the unexplained abscences not sometimes not being reachable late at night (one time caught her at a nightclub) are she once said to me I can get this from any man, I can get 20K RMB by just going out to dinner and entertainment but nothing else with another man.
This gal, like i mentioned is someone who live to make money. You can pump in $$$$$, you can get anything from her.
She'll swallow your cum, let you arse fuck her and so on.......
It's like a bottomless pit, you can dump $$$$$$$ but once the need for $$$$$$ again, they'll never be satisfied!!!

Hope you can help.
Worry not, you came to the rite place.

I'm looking for closure.
Actually you have already found your closure.
If you read your own post, you have already answered many of the questions that you're still puzzled about but instead of ending the answer with a . you ended them with a ?

Stll have a heavy heart but I also feel like the relationship was not real.
To you it was real cos you were the one who is GIVING but to her, you're just a fruit tree that she's plucking from.......so it's totally one sided my friend

I did meet her family and spent a lot of time with them.
This is very not important. Many PRC gals fake their families....they play this game in cahoots together so that you'll fall deeper and feel their sincerity and the so called family will get a cut of the $$$$$$$
Some even know what their daughter is doin and play along, cos parents are actually living off their kids...so its a tagged team match to milk you dry.

Thanks.
You're welcome

Move on my friend, she leaving you is the best thing that happened to you.
Yes, its heavy in the heart but you cannot deny that the sad times are more than the happy times you had.
You tot she loved you thus u spent and spent
Actually, if you were a third party like those reading here now, you were merely paying RENT!
As you mentioned, she is driven by money, and not from business but its like work. Her profession is exactly this.
This type i've met many and fucked many of them up so bad they never dare come back here anymore.
This is like a tumour in your body, it has dropped but you want to attach it back....DONT DO THAT
Time to live life the way you were meant to live
Happy, love someone and get the same love and care in return
Not fight over money......even if a wife was like that, i'd tell you to divorce you cos she'll be the 1st to disappear once there's any sign of a financial storm coming your way...........
This part has left many men devastated or some even resort to suicides....
Actually i know of someone who jumped to his death because the next morning after he told his PRC wife he was gonna be declared a bankrupt .......when he woke up, she was already gone...wif all the valuables......he couldnt take this betrayal and the lowest point in his life, so he jumped...sigh........
Do I blame her...not really, he tot it was real too....we warned him from the start but he told us we dunno her, she's kind blah blah.....so we did wat we could as friends already, so he walked into his own grave at HIS OWN FREE WILL!

[colins]

When she's in your heart, you can't really see who she is. Cos our hearts simple do not have the ability to differentiate 'good' or 'bad', beneficial or otherwise to ourselves. You wrote a lot of how her ill-treatment towards you in detail, but frankly she is there because you are the man willing to pay for everything. When you remove the monetary support, you'll see who she is. That's what your relationship with her is all about, and it is real in that context.

[ekemono]

well explained bro DYBJ.

I have read you explaining countless times about the same thing but it seems every guy likes to lie to themselves that their gal have a reason for their acts. And that they lingers on tightly the belief that their gal is the special ones.
They hope dearly it was a misunderstanding. Thus, they seek opnion.

I tell you guys. No special one or you are the special one.
If she is only responds well when you provide enough monetarily and/or if her actions points oh so obvious that she is seeing someone behind your back..., dump her that instant.
Alot of guys held on because they cant bear to loose the good lust and living with loneliness.

Hey.., wake up. the mortal world judge you by your ability in related aspect, not lust and an undying love for that someone special. It is year 2009 liao

[fatty_leo]

Move on and Ditch her lah. This kinda gal you still wait for her to return? She make use of your soft spot for her to gain monetary benefit from you. To me, those so called 'business' deal in china are 99% bogus and you still choose to believe due to you 'love' for her. Give it some time and you'll be fine. From my personal experience, only time can cure you from her poison.

DO NOT GO BACK TO HER ANYMORE!

My guess tat she'll be calling you in maybe 2-3months time. Usually, they'll do that after they'd ditched another guy in similar case. As what other forumers mentioned they are leechers. Stay away unless you're very rich and not looking for real love

[phallusman]

Well, guess what? You will get a call from her, say 3mths or 1year later. That's the time when she needs some help from you - asking for money. She will be telling you some horseshit and crap - and you believe in her and the vicious circle starts again, that is if you're still Mr Fool.

When you does call, that is the time to ignore her COMPLETELY!!!!!

[dickster_99]

Bro,

Forget about her and move on. She simply treats you like a sucker and nothing else. What all these PRC want is $$$$ else they will not come all the way here to find their suckers. They are good in sweet talking which a lot of guys cannot resist.

[Sg_Lancelot]

Two words only "MOVE ON" she is not worth your effort