Money foes

[urtheone]

I am a normal white collared worker. Average income of 4k gross. I have a friend called "M"

M had been out of job since 3 years ago. Out of these 3 years, he had been living as an unlicensed moneylender.

He had been borrowing money from me to roll over his tide. On and off, amount had been snowballed to 200k which included me taking loan on his behalf. Partial of the money belonged to my wife hard earned money.

I am also currently facing a seperation with my wife and she demanded the money to be returned to her.

M does returned me the money 3-4k per month which is not enough to pay back the loan which under my name.

How can i take back my money? Report police? I do not want to end up seeing him go to jail. He just married and have a baby gal less than 2months.

Pls advise.

Thanks

[Greenfrog]

Originally Posted by urtheone

I am a normal white collared worker. Average income of 4k gross. I have a friend called "M"

M had been out of job since 3 years ago. Out of these 3 years, he had been living as an unlicensed moneylender.

He had been borrowing money from me to roll over his tide. On and off, amount had been snowballed to 200k which included me taking loan on his behalf. Partial of the money belonged to my wife hard earned money.

I am also currently facing a seperation with my wife and she demanded the money to be returned to her.

M does returned me the money 3-4k per month which is not enough to pay back the loan which under my name.

How can i take back my money? Report police? I do not want to end up seeing him go to jail. He just married and have a baby gal less than 2months.

Pls advise.

Thanks

Bro first of all, why did you let the amount snowballed to 200K?!

[justl00king]

Bro,

Your friend is unlicensed money lender, aka ah long? Still need to borrow from you till hit 200k?

This type of friendship loan hard to recover and will take time. He is still paying back, just not fast enough.

Me too got around 30k loans outside helping friends, out fast but pay back very slow. What to do, when buddy ask for help just have to if we can.

Try talking to your friend and explain your situation. See if any way he can repay you faster. Hopefully, your friendships won't turn sour over money.

[urtheone]

Originally Posted by Greenfrog

Bro first of all, why did you let the amount snowballed to 200K?!

He paid me back partial and then ask for re loan...till 200k...

[urtheone]

Originally Posted by justl00king

Bro,

Your friend is unlicensed money lender, aka ah long? Still need to borrow from you till hit 200k?

This type of friendship loan hard to recover and will take time. He is still paying back, just not fast enough.

Me too got around 30k loans outside helping friends, out fast but pay back very slow. What to do, when buddy ask for help just have to if we can.

Try talking to your friend and explain your situation. See if any way he can repay you faster. Hopefully, your friendships won't turn sour over money.

I believed most of the money is been lend out so he borrow from me to roll more..

Already tried talking.. I previously had signed an "iou" with him. Is this legal in court if i want to take action against him?

[jnudes]

Originally Posted by urtheone

I am a normal white collared worker. Average income of 4k gross. I have a friend called "M"

M had been out of job since 3 years ago. Out of these 3 years, he had been living as an unlicensed moneylender.

He had been borrowing money from me to roll over his tide. On and off, amount had been snowballed to 200k which included me taking loan on his behalf. Partial of the money belonged to my wife hard earned money.

I am also currently facing a seperation with my wife and she demanded the money to be returned to her.

M does returned me the money 3-4k per month which is not enough to pay back the loan which under my name.

How can i take back my money? Report police? I do not want to end up seeing him go to jail. He just married and have a baby gal less than 2months.

Pls advise.

Thanks

bro, I used to have similar situation like yours, just that my amount is only RM5K. My buddy used the borrowed money from me for his own family and private expenses. We were supposed to be business partner and I forked out the capital, altogether totalling to RM10K.

The business had some obstacles in the beginning and eventually everything failed and I need not only to cope with the capital loses but also the money that was not returned by him until today and we also lost in touch. The pain was on me as I was the capital holder and it was an expensive and bitter lesson I learnt from him.

From there onwards, I would never want to lend money to other people or start business with anyone and remind myself not to trust people so easily again. Initially I also wanted to report police but due to insufficient evidence and due to the 'troublesomeness' of the whole process I decided to forget everything.

I tell myself never mind the money is gone I still can earn back, which I did and although I did not keep in touch with him again, our friendship is as good as over. If I am you I would not borrow 'M' any money in the first place. Just tell him no money. Case closed.

In your case the sum are so much higher than mine and it also involve your friendship with him too. I can only conclude your case is rather complicated, unless of course you are kind enough to ask him settle $100K instead of $200K. If you have a child with your wife there's another big headache to face again.

[etct88]

Fully agreed!

When borrowing, it was best of pals...

When time to return/collect, become worst of foes....

Lending money is good as end of friendship...

So sad.......

[huhu123]

Originally Posted by justl00king

Bro,

Your friend is unlicensed money lender, aka ah long? Still need to borrow from you till hit 200k?

This type of friendship loan hard to recover and will take time. He is still paying back, just not fast enough.

Me too got around 30k loans outside helping friends, out fast but pay back very slow. What to do, when buddy ask for help just have to if we can.

Try talking to your friend and explain your situation. See if any way he can repay you faster. Hopefully, your friendships won't turn sour over money.

In sammy also got many steady bro. We all help within our limits. Me too once also under huge debt. Still we are friend because the moment i help i see it as money gone if he can pay back fine if cant then lan lan so it does not jeopardize our friendship.

[urtheone]

I wonder if i can get him to sign the commission of oath, will it help me to retrieve my money?

Anyone can advise?

Thks..

[jonydgd]

TS, you are certainly good hearted to help your friend out in times of need but I feel that helping within your limit is important. Many times, the money lent out will take donkey years to get back. Even the best buddies are the same, they give excuses here and there to delay payment.

[sam30sg]

The "IOU" signed is legal when presented to court but it will only be the amount stated in the "IOUs" and anything outside that will not take into acount. You can actually engage a lawyer to write to him to recover the loan but this will also mean to kiss your friendship good bye, so it's always good to seek legal advice before anything as you do know his involvement in illegal activities.

Originally Posted by urtheone

I believed most of the money is been lend out so he borrow from me to roll more..

Already tried talking.. I previously had signed an "iou" with him. Is this legal in court if i want to take action against him?

[Greenfrog]

I am no expert in such matters. But I guess the rule of the thumb is; if you have only 10 dollars in your pocket, lend only 2 dollars. I know there are some people will lend 9 bucks one. From my experience, lending 9 bucks will only lead to heartache and goodbye to your friendship.

Hope my analogy is not too weird..

[KinderBueno]

Originally Posted by urtheone

I am a normal white collared worker. Average income of 4k gross. I have a friend called "M"

M had been out of job since 3 years ago. Out of these 3 years, he had been living as an unlicensed moneylender.

He had been borrowing money from me to roll over his tide. On and off, amount had been snowballed to 200k which included me taking loan on his behalf. Partial of the money belonged to my wife hard earned money.

I am also currently facing a seperation with my wife and she demanded the money to be returned to her.

M does returned me the money 3-4k per month which is not enough to pay back the loan which under my name.

Dear urtheone,

I have contributed many posts in this [thread] and helped bros/sis from this forum.

Thank you for your trust providing your D.O.B! Your T.O.B in 3 hours time range is wide but is still able to make guess. Analysis is based on your t.o.b before 10.59 am. See edited bazi picture below:

八字日元论：
日元看似不强不弱，其实是‘偏强’。
原因：
1. 不得令，却得又地得势。
2. 年月地支暗合为“暗水”（虽合化不成，但与你八字是点小威胁）

喜用神论：
正官格。用神为‘财星’、喜神为‘食伤’
忌神：‘金’、‘水’

1. 在事业方面，若你的职业与五行金、水有关，必定有挫折。
2. 在人际关系（周围的人包括妻子、家人等等），遇到对方八字金、水多的人，对你无助反而或许会带给你麻烦。要 是妻子八字格局喜金/水，她会舍不得失去你。
Advice: 以后，有考虑要换职业的话，可以看看职业五行属‘木’，‘火’的行业，无行之中带给你生活的平衡。薪水少一 点无所谓，因为你在其他方面会顺利。要两全其美，薪水要高，又要其他方面会顺利，除非你有福报（善事积德多 ），就容易些。

__________________________________

即使你不说我也会知道你发生什么事，
（一）破财 - 相当严重。其实，问题早就存在了，后来是越来越严重。财星为用神，可得内助 - Seriously, your wife helped you alot! Wife is your biggest bonus! 妻子帮了你很多，只是你没有细心观察。她也不建议你把借钱出来的意思，是你没有听进你耳里罢了 。Mistake.

（二）婚变 - 身强日支坐比劫，再加上夫妻宫天冲地克，婚姻非常不美满。你和妻子是有摩擦，当时你检点修炼你的脾气，让她 就没事了。现在要补救，恐怕太迟了！你太太是怎么样的人，我都能算得出，骗不了我的。这样好的妻子不惜福， 真是浪费！Mistake.

What have happened and you may expect (天机不可泄漏):
(1) Year 2012 There was something happening last year. Right? In fact, for the month of December - anything happened? No need to share here.
(2) Year 2013 Entire year is like a big financial roller coaster. Month of August & September - 不如意的事。 Month of June/July onwards 做善事。

其他事项:
(1) 正财和偏财同时出现 - 异性缘很旺，但感情较复杂。Since you are married, you could have spend time and/or focus your attention on her.
(2) 死要面子 - 有时候认输认错，不会少一根头发。常认输认错，人家也会接受，对你良好正面的印象。
(3) 自主义强，同事很不服，相信关系不和谐。人家是嘴不说出来，心里上有那根刺。
(4) 跟你母亲有关！你觉得你和母亲的感情怎么样呢？In your heart you know.

About yourself (both good and bad):

1. 在朋友的眼中你是个大好人，可是在家人的眼中是一个小气鬼。
2. 要求高，很多事都要尽善尽美。
3. 桃花命，太受欢迎了！人缘好! 太多朋友！有搞外遇不奇怪。
4. 领导型人物，事业上成功，甚至有不错的表现。
5. 有一点反叛性格。别人说不要这样，你偏偏要这样做。
6. 决定的事情是不会改变。
7. 不是善男信女，有生意头脑（捞偏财），更不是一个简单的人物。
8. 讲义气！朋友有事情可以找你。不管怎么样都会帮朋友，或是，朋友都对你好。
9. 你有病也是大病。大病会让你花很多医药费。
10. 脾气很臭。

There are too many personal things which I do not like probe into. I hope you can accept, heed advice, learn to change. 对你百益而无害。

Since, you are encountering both marriage and financial difficulty, I am helping you to see what went wrong in these two areas. From these two areas (钱财、婚姻) , you should know what to do. 受伤害的不只是你，还有你的妻子。

若你找人看命盘，肯定收你整百块。你的帖子与我有缘，我能暗示/帮你的，就这么多。自我反省，好之为之。你不改的话，将来吃亏的是自己。

我看了你的八字，比什么人都了解你。我在十分钟认识你（只排了紫薇斗数一半），绝对不会输给认识你十年的朋 友。

Originally Posted by urtheone

How can i take back my money? Report police? I do not want to end up seeing him go to jail. He just married and have a baby gal less than 2months.

你想要如何向朋友追讨钱，却不想他坐牢因为有妻儿，左右为难是吗？他若去坐牢，对你有什么好处 呢？

居然你朋友是做偏门，希望他不做伤天害理之事。若他干尽坏事，而你借他钱，就是‘助纣为虐’了。助纣为虐有 什么后果，我不多说。

有位生意人要我给他孩子命名，我便义不容辞。然后，又请我为他的档口招牌取名，被我好意拒绝了。原因是他卖 鸡饭(chicken rice seller)，即将要开第二档。要是替他招牌取名之后，生意蒸蒸日上，鸡饭卖到满堂红，这个罪我担当不起 ，也不想‘助纣为虐’。何况，他的业障已经出现了，只是没有人看得见。

[singmarine]

M is unlicenced money lender but he borrowed $200k from you? That means you are the actual money lender. Sad to hear you facing a martial woes & financial woes at the same time.

[stillgottheblue]

I think M is making use of TS. Most illegal money lender will make money unless M is really stupid. Which don't seem to be the case.