Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

[dyelook]

I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so I sat down and had a cold beer. The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking.
My wife walked by and asked me what I was doing, and I said, "Nothing." The reason I said "nothing" instead of saying "just thinking" is because she then would have asked, "About what? "At that point I would have had to explain that men are deep thinkers about various topics, which would lead to other questions.
Finally I pondered an age old question: Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts? Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts, but how could they know?
Well, after another beer, and some more heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with an answer to that question. Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby, and even though I obviously couldn't really know, here is the reason for my conclusion. A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "It might be nice to have another child."
On the other hand, you never hear a guy say, "You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts."
I rest my case. Time for another beer, and then maybe a nap...

[Neuer]

Originally Posted by Duratop

The Annoying Parrot

The male parrot stopped praying, turned to look at the female parrot, and suddenly burst into tears, 'Thank God, my prayers have finally been answered.'

Waited for a very long time!

[basfreak]

Originally Posted by dyelook

........

Nice share, keep on sharing.

[oxeso]

[dyelook]

.........

[cupid xpress]

Originally Posted by dyelook

Couple goes out walking in a nearby Mall;

HER: Babe, I really like & want these shoes, but I forgot my purse at home...

HIM: How much are they??

HER: Only $750...

HIM: Opens his wallet

HER: *So Excited*

HIM: Here's $10 take a cab & go fetch your purse... I'll wait here for you...

Wahahahahha.....

[etsys]

here's my contribution..

[oxeso]

[SigSauer]

Thanks for sharing nice jokes.

[tanin]

Originally Posted by dyelook

.........

Thanks for sharing.

[ongahnoi]

Originally Posted by etsys

Not that he won, it is because of those dumb voters

[etsys]

Originally Posted by ongahnoi

Not that he won, it is because of those dumb voters

anyway, that's politics, say right thing, win elections

I up you but says no power, how come eh ? I thought 50 got power ?

[dyelook]

Originally Posted by etsys

anyway, that's politics, say right thing, win elections

I up you but says no power, how come eh ? I thought 50 got power ?

needs 100 points to have power now...

[Hurricane88]

Six Laughs: 😂💦
No1: A man was so jealous of his newly born baby that he put poison on the wife's nipples while she was asleep. The next day their driver died of poisoning. ********
💉
No2: A man is dying of cancer, but keeps telling people he is dying of AIDS. His son asked his Dad why. He answered, "so that when I am dead, no one will sleep with your mum." ********
👙
No3: A lady lost three panties in her house and blamed her maid in front of the husband. Maid said "sir. you are my witness you know I never wear panties!"
********
🔩
No4: Couple is having a quickie and their 6 year old catches them. "What are you doing?" Asks the son. Father: "I’m putting petrol in your Mom." Son: " Which means Mom’s engine is consuming too much petrol, cause Uncle Pedro, just filled her tank yesterday evening!" Mother fainted!!!!
********
💵🍺
No5: A man went to the pub with his wife. When he left for the counter to buy drinks a prostitute approached his wife & whispered, "You must DEMAND cash before sex, I know him he doesn't pay. ********🍼🎱

No6: An 8 year old boy is accused of rape. In court his lady lawyer holds his dick out as evidence saying, "Your Honour see this, can he rape* with this tiny tot?"The boy whispers, "Don't shake it, we'll lose the case!" ********
📭
Now that you've smiled, don't be stingy with the smiles, share them With 6 friends for 6 Laughs
Visit extreme-power.org🤭

[naresh]

Originally Posted by dyelook

needs 100 points to have power now...

Thanks for sharing.