Just needed a channel to vent

[Yaphets]

I'm a unhappy married man. Recently, I really cannot tahan my wife anymore and decided to divorce her. We have one kid and currently another one in her womb 8 weeks old. However, we both decided to abort it because we don't have time to take care of the second one. And also we both know that our relationship is getting sour. So giving birth to another one doesn't make sense at all. I just needed a place where no one knows me to vent out everything. Below is my exact sentiments and words I wanna tell her after the abortion and before we divorce.



I'm sorry for being selfish. No amount of apology can ever make up for what I have done and will do. Although I know that we can never be together for the next decade, I still want to give you the best of the remaining days we have left. Call me selfish, call me asshole, call me bastard and whatever names you can think of. Because I can only nod in agreement. Today, you let me rekindle how it feels like to at the initial stages when we were still dating. When I would hold your hands, let you lie on my shoulders and hug you tight when you sleep. I almost wanted to U-turn and tell myself why not forget about separation? But when you snapped at me upon lending me your phone made me realize that no matter what, we cannot really live together for long. I'm tired of you and I bet you are tired of trying to please me. And so I thought it would be better for us to free ourselves of everything and live the life we individually desire. I'll always remember you for who you are, rest assured. And I sincerely hope that you will be able to pick yourself up from this and live life courageously unlike the past you. Upon typing this very sentence, it felt heart wrenching and I honestly felt like I needed to protect you from all harm there is. But to do that, perhaps I have to sacrifice myself. Perhaps I love myself more than you. Perhaps I've never truly opened up my heart and tried to accept you for who you are. Perhaps I'm blinded by my destiny and am not satisfied with the simple pleasures of life. I really don't know. But knowing that I slightly teared while typing out this heart felt message makes me wanna delete and never let you see this. I feel like going back all the way and don't ever hurt you and all. Because I can imagine the pain and agony that you will have upon receiving this whole long message. Am I wrong? Or am I just plain selfish? All I wanted is just a new start. Flashes of our memories suddenly appeared out of nowhere. Not that we have many to reminisce. I feel sorry that I have broken the vow and pledge to love you forever, for rich and for poor, for better and for worst, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish till death do us apart. I'm sorry for being a loser. But I swear that the day we married was the happiest day of my life. Although I did not really show it. I know I don't show a lot of my feelings to you. I'm really sorry. 

[hamsapkwai]

That`s sad. Did you guys stop talking?

Did u react instantly and told her that u did not like being snapped at when it happened?

I learned in life that u must stop an unpleasant action immediately by giving feedback . Or people will just take u for granted and walk all over you.

But i commiserate with you that u have come to this juncture.

[Big Sexy]

mate...before you do anything...
read the WOMEN'S CHARTER
http://sammy.services/showthread.php?t=239909

and this thread..

All you need to know about "Marriage/Divorce" under the SG Law

Originally Posted by Yaphets

I'm a unhappy married man. Recently, I really cannot tahan my wife anymore and decided to divorce her.  

[hamsapkwai]

Maybe he is a Muslim? 3 Talaks can already , no need to read through that maze.

3 Talaks via sms used to be acceptable even but not anymore . Damn!!!

TS tell me u are Muslim ?

http://app.syariahcourt.gov.sg/syari...e_Talak_E.aspx

[Big Sexy]

why dont you read the threads as well..
it covers that as well..

Originally Posted by hamsapkwai

Maybe he is a Muslim?
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[Sen5eS]

Talk to a counsellor ? She snaps at you and you react negatively ?

Sorry to hear about the plans for your unborn tho ...

Things will work out one way or another.

[Yaphets]

Nope I'm not a Muslim. I'm Chinese.

Anyway, thanks for the consolations. I didn't expect any replies actually. Last night, she rejected my hugs and last efforts to be a good husband for the remaining days we are married. I guess there isn't any room for negotiating or contemplating a reconcile.

[Reoxy]

Originally Posted by Yaphets

Nope I'm not a Muslim. I'm Chinese.

Anyway, thanks for the consolations. I didn't expect any replies actually. Last night, she rejected my hugs and last efforts to be a good husband for the remaining days we are married. I guess there isn't any room for negotiating or contemplating a reconcile.

You already sent an ultimatum.

You got her to abort your unborn child.

How do you expect her to react to you?

If she made you cut off one of your balls how would you react?

Being born with a willy comes with great responsibility. One of these is NEVER TO KILL YOUR OWN BABY.

[RealEstateGuy]

Braddah, both of you should drop your egos and seek marraige counseling to see if you can as a team make it work. Only after that should you both make hasty decisions and accuse each other of not fufilling promises. Have you tried that yet? Give it a try. Might take your wife or yourself some time to agreet to it but its worth a try for the sake of keeping together the family. Another way to look at it is you both already know each others likes and dislikes, why not work on the known rather than seek new partners which will be totally unknown as far as personality clashes and/or compatabilities? Keep us posted braddah though your outlet should not be SBF and a counselor instead we are still here to help you as much as we are qualified to do.

[PuTonRen]

Originally Posted by Yaphets

I'm a unhappy married man. Below is my exact sentiments and words I wanna tell her after the abortion and before we divorce.

 

Bro,

I always believe that when a couple comes together and becomes husband and wife, it is the most beautiful chemistry of God (or Buddha, or the almighty as per your religion). The birth of a baby from marriage is the results of a strong and perfect chemical reaction. It saddens me that you are going to break both beautiful things. I agree with what one of the brothers said "... do not kill your own baby!".

From your message, I can sense that you still have feeling towards her. A simple one time refusal when you try to hug her does not signify the end of a relationship. Imagine the sadness that a mother, having to abort a baby, has. Would you think she is still in a right state of mind of accepting your hug?

I am now at my advanced age, and I have seen situations like yours. Many of them have resulted in good ending, i.e. reconciliation and happy family thereafter, while a minority has sad ending. Why not try to patch up by engaging a third party to try to mend the fence. I believe both of you still have feelings in each other, and strenghtened by the existence of the kid(s) that you have, you stand a good chance to remain together.

I am an old man and have been married for many years, and I always tell my wife, and she agrees that two persons can be together only through mutual understanding and tolerance. No two persons are born the same and behave in the same manner; and they will stay together if they accept that they are different.

It is indeed my sincere hope that both of you will remain as husband and wife, for the sake of your happiness, and that of your kids.

[sammyboyfor]

Originally Posted by Yaphets

Nope I'm not a Muslim. I'm Chinese.

Just because you're Chinese doesn't mean you can't be a muslim. One's an ethnicity and the other's a religion.

As for your relationship it's pretty obvious there is no mutual respect so my advice is to end it as soon as possible. Affection and the lovey dovey side of any marriage fades over time but respect for each other is paramount for a relationship to last through thick and thin.

[ryanlim79]

Originally Posted by Reoxy

You already sent an ultimatum.

You got her to abort your unborn child.

How do you expect her to react to you?

If she made you cut off one of your balls how would you react?

Being born with a willy comes with great responsibility. One of these is NEVER TO KILL YOUR OWN BABY.

bro, totally agree with you, NEVER EVER ABORT YOUR KID EVEN. THIS IS AS GOOD AS A MURDERER.

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Originally Posted by Yaphets

I'm a unhappy married man. Recently, I really cannot tahan my wife anymore and decided to divorce her. We have one kid and currently another one in her womb 8 weeks old. However, we both decided to abort it because we don't have time to take care of the second one. And also we both know that our relationship is getting sour. So giving birth to another one doesn't make sense at all. I just needed a place where no one knows me to vent out everything. Below is my exact sentiments and words I wanna tell her after the abortion and before we divorce.



I'm sorry for being selfish. No amount of apology can ever make up for what I have done and will do. Although I know that we can never be together for the next decade, I still want to give you the best of the remaining days we have left. Call me selfish, call me asshole, call me bastard and whatever names you can think of. Because I can only nod in agreement. Today, you let me rekindle how it feels like to at the initial stages when we were still dating. When I would hold your hands, let you lie on my shoulders and hug you tight when you sleep. I almost wanted to U-turn and tell myself why not forget about separation? But when you snapped at me upon lending me your phone made me realize that no matter what, we cannot really live together for long. I'm tired of you and I bet you are tired of trying to please me. And so I thought it would be better for us to free ourselves of everything and live the life we individually desire. I'll always remember you for who you are, rest assured. And I sincerely hope that you will be able to pick yourself up from this and live life courageously unlike the past you. Upon typing this very sentence, it felt heart wrenching and I honestly felt like I needed to protect you from all harm there is. But to do that, perhaps I have to sacrifice myself. Perhaps I love myself more than you. Perhaps I've never truly opened up my heart and tried to accept you for who you are. Perhaps I'm blinded by my destiny and am not satisfied with the simple pleasures of life. I really don't know. But knowing that I slightly teared while typing out this heart felt message makes me wanna delete and never let you see this. I feel like going back all the way and don't ever hurt you and all. Because I can imagine the pain and agony that you will have upon receiving this whole long message. Am I wrong? Or am I just plain selfish? All I wanted is just a new start. Flashes of our memories suddenly appeared out of nowhere. Not that we have many to reminisce. I feel sorry that I have broken the vow and pledge to love you forever, for rich and for poor, for better and for worst, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish till death do us apart. I'm sorry for being a loser. But I swear that the day we married was the happiest day of my life. Although I did not really show it. I know I don't show a lot of my feelings to you. I'm really sorry. 

Marriage is a sacrament.
Like building a house from the flat ground.
Even after building it, in time, cracks and problems will emerge.
This is where a MAN should do his part to repair it.
These damages of time are known as marital issues which every couple will have to go thru also known as the root to a long peaceful marriage or the beginning of the end depending on how one manages them.
For your case, no, you r not a loser, but you are someone who is not matured enuff to be married.
You lack the BOLLS to fix your marriage and rather throw in the towel for a quick fix.
Just because you wanna hug her & she refuse her advances, you give up?
Have you ever tot of how toolan she is wif u though u felt a hug?
Only you but no her in your head.
Wif this mindset, pls dun get married or you'll just wreck another woman's life & steal her youth!
You already killed an unborn child and as good as wrecked the life of the one that is already born!
1 person ruin 2 lives and killed 1
Yes, please divorce her & set her free, dun pull another innocent life into the sea!

[sammyboyfor]

Originally Posted by DO_YOU_BJ

Marriage is a sacrament.

You're living in the last century. Marriage is but a temporary union in this day and age. Why else do you think pre nuptial arrangements and family trusts are so popular?

If a wife brings no joy, it's time to move on to the next one. There's no point being stuck in a loveless state of matrimony. It certainly won't benefit the children.

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Originally Posted by sammyboyfor

You're living in the last century. Marriage is but a temporary union in this day and age. Why else do you think pre nuptial arrangements and family trusts are so popular?

If a wife brings no joy, it's time to move on to the next one. There's no point being stuck in a loveless state of matrimony. It certainly won't benefit the children.

Wanna start again?
It's been a while.
Wat u say may be applicable in skippyland!
Pre-nuptial crap but here, not recognised
When was the last time u looked into the mirror to notice your skin colour?
You go there too long you start to tink u ang mo gao liao ah?