Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

[Hurricane88]

Share for laughs...

[ah rat]

_________`

[dyelook]

little ah beng was kicked out of class for giving the wrong answer to his teacher's question...

teacher : what come after 69?
lttle ah beng : mouthwash...

[ah rat]

[diputs1269]

Originally Posted by dyelook

little ah beng was kicked out of class for giving the wrong answer to his teacher's question...

teacher : what come after 69?
lttle ah beng : mouthwash...

Ha ha, I love to 69, cheers!

[dumbling]

Originally Posted by dyelook

little ah beng was kicked out of class for giving the wrong answer to his teacher's question...

teacher : what come after 69?
lttle ah beng : mouthwash...

Lol hahaha its right .hahaha

[dyelook]

laughter bumps...

[SirLance]

Thanks for sharing jokes.

[dyelook]

I consulted my Ayurvedic Physician yesterday. After knowing that I was retired, he had the following health advice for me:

- You must exercise more.

- Don't drink cold drinks, or drink beer or red wine.

- Drink more plain water.

- Don't drive, take public transport or walk.

- Don't eat out, eat less meat and especially eat less seafood. Keep to vegetarian diet if possible.

I nodded and asked....
May I know what is wrong with me?

He said...
"You have No Salary"

[ah rat]

_________________

[gidi]

Originally Posted by ah rat

_________________

Hahaha lol . I thiking diferend way 😀

[dyelook]

A wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman. She was very upset.
_"You are a disrēspêctful pīg!"_ she cried. _"How dare you do this to me – a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce, NOW!"_
The husband calmly replied, _"Hang on just a minute love. At least let me tell you what happened."_
_"Fine, go ahead",_ the wife sobbed, _"but they will be the last words you say to me!"_
The husband began:
_"Well, as I was getting into the car at work to drive home, this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so distressed, helpless and defenceless that I took pity on her and let her into the car."_
_"She was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty and told me that she hadn't eaten for three days."_
_"Out of compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the pizza I made for you last night that you wouldn’t eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight. The poor thing ate it, ravenously."_
_"She was dirty. I suggested she have a shower. While showering, I noticed her clothes were filthy and threadbare. I threw them away."_
_"I gave her the designer jeans that you’ve had for a few years, but don’t wear because you say they are too tight."_
_"I gave her underwear, your anniversary present from me, which you don’t wear because you said I don't have good taste."_
_"I gave her the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas, that you don’t wear just to annoy her. I also donated those boots you bought at an expensive boutique but don’t wear because someone at work has the same pair."_
The husband paused, took a quick breath and continued:
_"She was so grateful for my understanding and help that as I walked her to the door, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said, “Please sir... Do you have anything else that your wife doesn’t use?”

[TuNguyen]

Originally Posted by dyelook

“Please sir... Do you have anything else that your wife doesn’t use?”

Haha that's the most important question

[SirLance]

Originally Posted by dyelook

A wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman. She was very upset.
_"You are a disrēspêctful pīg!"_ she cried. _"How dare you do this to me – a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce, NOW!"_
The husband calmly replied, _"Hang on just a minute love. At least let me tell you what happened."_
_"Fine, go ahead",_ the wife sobbed, _"but they will be the last words you say to me!"_
The husband began:
_"Well, as I was getting into the car at work to drive home, this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so distressed, helpless and defenceless that I took pity on her and let her into the car."_
_"She was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty and told me that she hadn't eaten for three days."_
_"Out of compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the pizza I made for you last night that you wouldn’t eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight. The poor thing ate it, ravenously."_
_"She was dirty. I suggested she have a shower. While showering, I noticed her clothes were filthy and threadbare. I threw them away."_
_"I gave her the designer jeans that you’ve had for a few years, but don’t wear because you say they are too tight."_
_"I gave her underwear, your anniversary present from me, which you don’t wear because you said I don't have good taste."_
_"I gave her the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas, that you don’t wear just to annoy her. I also donated those boots you bought at an expensive boutique but don’t wear because someone at work has the same pair."_
The husband paused, took a quick breath and continued:
_"She was so grateful for my understanding and help that as I walked her to the door, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said, “Please sir... Do you have anything else that your wife doesn’t use?”

Thank you for sharing.

[dyelook]

laughter bump..