Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

[BJstreet]

Good morning

[SkyIsSexy]

Originally Posted by etsys

This is a good one. Thanks bro!!

[Colonelchief]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

“Your badge, show him your fucking badge!”

Hahaha nice share bro

[SBMEDSUP]

Thank you share jokes.

[rmeNDiKA]

Thanks for the joke

[MYSPA]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

An undercover cop called at my farm in rural Dorset yesterday evening...
“I need to inspect your farm for illegally grown drugs”, he said.

“By all means officer, just don’t go in that field over there”, I replied.

The cop exploded, saying “Do you know who the fuck I am?! I have the authority of the government with me!”, he shouted before pulling a badge out of his back pocket, “Do you see this fucking badge?! This badge means I can do what I want and I’ll go wherever the fuck I want, have I made myself clear?!”

I nodded politely, apologised, and went about my chores. A short while later, I hear loud screams, looked up and saw the cop running for his life being chased by my angry bull. With each step, the bull was gaining ground and he seemed sure to be gored before he reached safety. The officer looked terrified and continued to run for his life.

I threw down my tools, immediately ran to the edge of the fence and shouted at the top of my lungs,

“Your badge, show him your fucking badge!”

Yaya papaya cop

[Hurricane88]

_*A male's most important Organ supposedly as described by some of these most beautiful women of the world at the Miss Universe Contest.*_

*Question: Ms Australia , how do you describe a Male Organ in your country?*

Ms Australia : Well, I can say that Male Organs in Australia are like labourers.

*Question: How can you say so?*

Ms Australia : Because they work day and night.
(Applause! Applause! Applause!)

*Question: Ms Malaysia, how do you describe a Male Organ in your country?*

Ms Malaysia: Well, I can say that Male Organs in Malaysia are like Proton Cars.

*Question: How can you say so?*

Ms Malaysia: Because they look tough but are actually very soft.
(Applause! Applause! Applause!)

*Question: Ms Kuwait, how do you describe a Male Organ in your country?*

Ms Kuwait: Well, I can say that Male Organs in Kuwait are like thieves.

*Question: How can you say so?*

Ms Kuwait: Because they like to enter through the back door.
(Applause! Applause! Applause!)

*Question: Ms Philippines, how do you describe a Male Organ in your country?*

Ms Philippines: Well, I can say that Male Organs in our country are like gossips or rumours.

*Question: How can you say so?*

Ms Philippines: Because they pass from mouth to mouth.
(Applause! Applause! Applause!)

*Question: Ms America, how do you describe a Male Organ in your country?*

Ms America: Well, I can say that Male Organs in our country are like gentlemen.

*Question: How can you say so?*

Ms America: Because they stand up every time they see a woman.

(Applause! Applause! Applause!)

AND THE AWARD GOES TO Ms India..

*Question: Ms India , how do you describe a Male Organ in your country?*

Ms India: Well, I can say that Male Organs in India are like Rats.

*Question: How can you say so?*

Ms India: Because they are always searching for new holes day and night...

(Applause! Applause! Standing Ovation)

[Hurricane88]

Men's Pearls of Wisdom 😍

🌾1. When I was born, I was given a choice - A big dick or a good memory. I don't remember, what I chose.

🌾2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

🌾3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.

🌾4. Impotence: Nature's way of saying 'No hard feelings...'

🌾5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - 'don't' and 'stop', unless they are used together.

🌾6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.

🌾7. There are three stages of sex in a man's life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.

🌾8. Virginity can be cured.

🌾9. Virginity is not dignity, its lack of opportunity.

🌾10. Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

🌾11. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dialer were too small.

🌾12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.

🌾13. Q: What's an Australian kiss?
A: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.

🌾14. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing......

🌾15. Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a mans life?
A: Life sucks, job sucks, and the wife doesn't

🌾16. Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.

🌾17. Despite the old saying, “Don't take your troubles to bed', many men still sleep with their wives..!!”

🌾18. Breasts are proof that men can focus on 2 things at a time

Send to the men with a good sense of humour and women who need a good laugh....😉😜😘

[ah rat]

_________________

[SBMEDSUP]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

_*A male's most important Organ supposedly as described by some of these most beautiful women of the world at the Miss Universe Contest.*_

*Question: Ms Australia , how do you describe a Male Organ in your country?*

Ms Australia : Well, I can say that Male Organs in Australia are like labourers.

*Question: How can you say so?*

Ms Australia : Because they work day and night.
(Applause! Applause! Applause!)

*Question: Ms Malaysia, how do you describe a Male Organ in your country?*

Ms Malaysia: Well, I can say that Male Organs in Malaysia are like Proton Cars.

*Question: How can you say so?*

Ms Malaysia: Because they look tough but are actually very soft.
(Applause! Applause! Applause!)

*Question: Ms Kuwait, how do you describe a Male Organ in your country?*

Ms Kuwait: Well, I can say that Male Organs in Kuwait are like thieves.

*Question: How can you say so?*

Ms Kuwait: Because they like to enter through the back door.
(Applause! Applause! Applause!)

*Question: Ms Philippines, how do you describe a Male Organ in your country?*

Ms Philippines: Well, I can say that Male Organs in our country are like gossips or rumours.

*Question: How can you say so?*

Ms Philippines: Because they pass from mouth to mouth.
(Applause! Applause! Applause!)

*Question: Ms America, how do you describe a Male Organ in your country?*

Ms America: Well, I can say that Male Organs in our country are like gentlemen.

*Question: How can you say so?*

Ms America: Because they stand up every time they see a woman.

(Applause! Applause! Applause!)

AND THE AWARD GOES TO Ms India..

*Question: Ms India , how do you describe a Male Organ in your country?*

Ms India: Well, I can say that Male Organs in India are like Rats.

*Question: How can you say so?*

Ms India: Because they are always searching for new holes day and night...

(Applause! Applause! Standing Ovation)

Applause. very funny.

[etsys]

Some joke.

Enjoy

[BJstreet]

Happy Sunday

[jacky43]

This red dot alot of problems. Vaccination for all the people. I scare myself even more. 3 mths from now, hungry ghost festival. Only vaccinated ancestors can enter this country?

I seek help from praying articles companies. Please manufacture Covid 19 vaccines, I need to burn to my ancestors b4 hungry ghost festival. Plus vaccination pass ports and certificates.

Talking about travel bubbles. We take it to new heights.

[HeartK549]

Originally Posted by etsys

Some joke.

Enjoy

Same ways to make your government happy

[SBMEDSUP]

Originally Posted by jacky43

This red dot alot of problems. Vaccination for all the people. I scare myself even more. 3 mths from now, hungry ghost festival. Only vaccinated ancestors can enter this country?

I seek help from praying articles companies. Please manufacture Covid 19 vaccines, I need to burn to my ancestors b4 hungry ghost festival. Plus vaccination pass ports and certificates.

Talking about travel bubbles. We take it to new heights.

best jokes thanks for sharing.