Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

[penisthick]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

HAHA. Thanks for sharing!

[socha]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

Where does she shop? Hope to meet her there

[dyelook]

laughter bumps...

[SBMEDSUP]

Really great jokes

[WhysHappened]

Great share bros, support nice jokes!

[Hurricane88]

*I Love this Japanese Doctor*~🤔😊

*Q*: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
*A*: Heart only good for so many beats, and that's it... Don't waste time on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; its like saying you extend life of a car by driving faster. Want to live longer?
Take nap.

*Q*: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
*A*: Oh no. Wine made from fruit. Fruit very good. Brandy distilled wine, that means they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Grain good too.
Bottoms up!

*Q*: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
*A*: Can't think of one, sorry.
My philosophy: No pain...good!

*Q*: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
*A*: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food fried in vegetable oil.
How getting more vegetable be bad?

*Q*: Is chocolate bad for me?
*A*: You crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable!
It best feel-good food around!

*Q*: Is swimming good for your figure?
*A*: If swimming good for figure,
explain whale to me.

*Q*: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
*A*: Hey! 'Round' is also a shape!

Well... I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember:

Finally the Japanese Doctor summed up: Look mister, Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Beer in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a ride my life was"!!!!!😂
Eat whatever you like because you will still DIE, don't allow motivational speakers deceive you.

1. The inventor of the treadmill had died at the age of 54

2. The inventor of gymnastics died at the age of 57

3. The world bodybuilding champion died at the age of 41

4. The best footballer in the world Maradona, died at the age of 60.

BUT

5. The KFC inventor died at 94.

6. Inventor of Nutella brand died at the age of 88

7. Imagine, cigarette maker Winston died at the age of 102

8. The inventor of opium died at the age of 116 in an earthquake

9. Hennessey inventor dies at 98.

How did these doctors come to the conclusion that exercise prolongs life?

The rabbit is always jumping up and down but it lives for only 2 years and the turtle that doesn’t exercise at all, lives 400 years.

So, Take some rest, Chill, Stay cool, eat, drink and enjoy your life. You will still die. 😅😂🤣😂🤣

[Hurricane88]

A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper, Guido, has cheated him out of $10,000,000. His bookkeeper is deaf. That was the reason he got the job in the first place. It was assumed that Guido would hear nothing so he would never have to testify in court. When the Godfather goes to confront Guido about his missing $10 million, he takes along his lawyer who knows sign language.

The Godfather tells the lawyer, "Ask him where the money is!"

The lawyer, using sign language, asks Guido, Where's the money?

Guido signs back, "I don't know what you are talking about."

The lawyer tells the Godfather, "He says he doesn't know what you're talking about."

The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to Guido's head and says, "Ask him again or I'll kill him!"

The lawyer signs to Guido, "He'll kill you if you don't tell him."

Guido trembles and signs, "OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed at my cousin Bruno's house."

The Godfather asks the lawyer, "What did he say?"

The lawyer replies, "He says you don't have the guts to pull the trigger!"

...Don't you just love lawyers ? 😃️🥸 Tun?

[SBMEDSUP]

Thanks for sharing nice jokes.

[malaysiapig]

All uncle have not taken the vaccination please take note :

An old man had his 2nd injection of the vaccine at the vaccination center and began to have blurred vision the whole way home.

When he got home, he called the vaccination center for advice and to ask if he should go see a doctor, or be hospitalized.

Vaccination center told him to come back - and collect his glasses. 🙏🙏🙏

[etsys]

Some joke

Small contribution

[Hurricane88]

An Army Sniper goes to a Rifle shop to buy a new scope for his Gun.

Manager takes out one & says: "This scope is so good, YOU can see my house 1 km up on that hill."

Sniper looks through the scope & laughs: "I see a naked man & a naked woman in your house."

Manager looks in the scope & gives 2 bullets to the sniper: "I'll give you this scope free, if you shoot my wife's head off
& the guy's Dick."

Sniper looks again in the scope : "Well!! Seems like I can do that with one bullet..!!"

[Hurricane88]

[Hurricane88]

[3ya3]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

Yes, I need a vacation

[fallen11]

this is damn funny!