Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread] - Page 859

BJstreet · #**12871** 09-05-2021, 03:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

Joke Of The Day

Only for Malaysians & Singaporeans who are world champions in the English language !!!

Ah Huat and an Englishman were asked to make a sentence using 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9,10.

The Englishman tried very hard but could not do it.
Then the Englishman turned to Ah Huat and very confidently said, "If I cannot do this, I am very sure that this would be way beyond your ability."

Ah Huat thought for a while and this was what he came up with............

1 day I went 2 climb a 3 outside a house to peep. The couple in the house saw me. So, I panic and 4 down. The man rushed out and wanted to 5 with me. I ran until I fell 6 and threw up. So, I ran into a 7-eleven and grabbed some 8 to throw at him. Then I took a 9 and tried to stab at him. 10 God he ran away.

10, I put the 9 back and paid for the 8 and left 7-eleven. Next day I called my boss and told him I was 6. He said 5 , tomorrow also no need to come back 4 work. He also asked me to go and climb a 3 and jump down! I don't understand. I am so nice 2 him but I don't know what he 1.

The Englishman fainted!

( Even an Englishman can't construct sentences using numerics. This ability is exclusive only to Malaysians and Singaporeans! )

Don't laugh alone , pass on!

Happy Sunday

SBMEDSUP · #**12872** 10-05-2021, 08:31 AM

Thanks for nice jokes.

satobage · #**12873** 10-05-2021, 03:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

A man was sitting quietly reading his paper when his wife walked up behind him and whacked him on the head with a magazine.
'What was that for?' he asked.
'That was for the piece of paper in your trouser pocket with the name Laura Lou written on it,' she replied.
'Two weeks ago when I went to the races, Laura Lou was the name of one of the horses I bet on, I bought you those flowers with the winnings, ' he explained.
'Oh darling, I'm sorry,' she said. 'I should have known there was a good explanation.'
Three days later he was watching TV when she walked up and hit him in the head again, this time with a frying pan, which knocked him out cold.
When he came to, he asked, 'What was that for?'
'Your horse phoned'

Hahaha!! 😂 😂 😂

★¨`*•♫.•Pass it on!! Give someone else a reason to smile. ♫ ..•* ★

Nice one bro lol

BJstreet · #**12874** 12-05-2021, 12:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

Joke Of The Day

Only for Malaysians & Singaporeans who are world champions in the English language !!!

Ah Huat and an Englishman were asked to make a sentence using 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9,10.

The Englishman tried very hard but could not do it.
Then the Englishman turned to Ah Huat and very confidently said, "If I cannot do this, I am very sure that this would be way beyond your ability."

Ah Huat thought for a while and this was what he came up with............

1 day I went 2 climb a 3 outside a house to peep. The couple in the house saw me. So, I panic and 4 down. The man rushed out and wanted to 5 with me. I ran until I fell 6 and threw up. So, I ran into a 7-eleven and grabbed some 8 to throw at him. Then I took a 9 and tried to stab at him. 10 God he ran away.

10, I put the 9 back and paid for the 8 and left 7-eleven. Next day I called my boss and told him I was 6. He said 5 , tomorrow also no need to come back 4 work. He also asked me to go and climb a 3 and jump down! I don't understand. I am so nice 2 him but I don't know what he 1.

The Englishman fainted!

( Even an Englishman can't construct sentences using numerics. This ability is exclusive only to Malaysians and Singaporeans! )

Don't laugh alone , pass on!

Thanks for sharing

dyelook · #**12875** 14-05-2021, 01:49 AM

laughter bumps...

Hurricane88 · #**12876** 14-05-2021, 05:31 AM

In a New York sidewalk, an Indian is enjoying a hearty breakfast "Coffee, croissants, toast, butter, jam, etc"

While an American, chewing a gum, sat next to him and started an unwanted conversation.

American: You Indians eat the whole bread?

Indian: Ofcourse!

American: (Blowing bubbles with his gum) we don't.

We, Americans only eat what's inside. The crust we collect in a container, recycle, make these into croissants and sell these to India.

American: Do you eat jam with bread?

Indian: Ofcourse!

American: We don't.

We eat fruits at breakfast, put all the peels, seeds and leftovers into containers, turn these into jam and sell it to India.

Indian: Do you have sex in America?

American: Ofcourse, we do!

Indian: What do you do with the condoms?

American: We throw them, of course!

Indian: We don't. In India, we put them into containers, recycle them, turn them into chewing gums and sell it to America!

Khaalllaaaaasssss ...😂

Don't laugh alone , share this with your friends so can laugh along with you
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Hurricane88 · #**12877** 14-05-2021, 05:32 AM

A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little gray hair he had left. Amazing, he thought as he flew down I-94, pushing the pedal even more.

Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a state trooper behind him, lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, What am I doing? I'm too old for this, and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival.

Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch, and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."

The old gentleman paused. Then he said, "Years ago, my wife ran off with a state trooper. I thought you were bringing her back."

"Have a good day, sir," replied the trooper.