All you need to know about "Marriage/Divorce" under the SG Law

[Frankiestine]

Originally Posted by jenoroth

Hi senior bros, in the case of singapore and women's charter, if the wife is caught cheating with substantial evidence and the husband files for divorce, is the husband still required to pay alimony fees?

From what I was told, it a big hell "YES"!! But honestly, under such circumstances, unless her skin is so thick, i doubt if she would want to go and ask for one not unless there are other burdens she has to carry after the divorce such as child.

[jenoroth]

Originally Posted by Frankiestine

From what I was told, it a big hell "YES"!! But honestly, under such circumstances, unless her skin is so thick, i doubt if she would want to go and ask for one not unless there are other burdens she has to carry after the divorce such as child.

Lol so you cheat on your husband and you still entitled to alimony from him? Alright, another reason to add marriage off the list of life goals.

I wonder if married men in singapore live in fear everyday.

[Ninja_Assassin]

Originally Posted by jenoroth

Hi senior bros, in the case of singapore and women's charter, if the wife is caught cheating with substantial evidence and the husband files for divorce, is the husband still required to pay alimony fees?

Cause of divorce and Ancillary matters are 2 separate issues.
Getting caught for adultery is reason for divorce but ancillary matters will still be adjucated according to the Women's Charter guidelines..... which means the wife can still screw her husband upside down.

Actually there is a law that the husband can sue the wife's lover for breaking up his family but it seems that nobody has ever tried...... wonder why?

[Ninja_Assassin]

Originally Posted by jenoroth

Lol so you cheat on your husband and you still entitled to alimony from him? Alright, another reason to add marriage off the list of life goals.

I wonder if married men in singapore live in fear everyday.

The smart ones dun get married.... and 90% of married men regret having tied the knot.

[Frankiestine]

Originally Posted by jenoroth

Lol so you cheat on your husband and you still entitled to alimony from him? Alright, another reason to add marriage off the list of life goals.

I wonder if married men in singapore live in fear everyday.

Well that the way things goes here in little red dot, Adultery is only the cause for divorce but adultery itself here in little red dot is not a crime. And bro Ninja is right as stated below, bros too can actually sue the other party for breaking up his marriage.

[99546]

Firstly Thanks Bro Xyberdude for ur advice..

Bros.. Hope you all can give me some advice.. I have nicely talked to ex about my financial problems.. She say she don accept to reduce it as every month i give child maintenance $700 as my salary 2k+ not over $2500 haven deduce CPF.. Say that due to my child this year P1. Will be spending more. So she don agreed to reduce. Then i told her that is it possible that reduce the amount, let me go through my financial problems first.. After that i will pay her back the same amount as usual.. No matter what she don agreed.. Now i got another big problem that my company having retrencment.. And maybe will make my financial problems more tigher.. Like to ask Bros to give some advice..

What if i got retrenched and i got health problem that need to have medication. Can't afford to pay the child maintenance of $700? Can I reduce the child maintenance? And when should i go and can i go to legal aid for help? But they have a mean test as what I know.. Am i will be eligible?

Bros.. Please give me some advice.. Hope that Bros can help me.. Thanks. .

[joncheong]

Originally Posted by 99546

Firstly Thanks Bro Xyberdude for ur advice..

Bros.. Hope you all can give me some advice.. I have nicely talked to ex about my financial problems.. She say she don accept to reduce it as every month i give child maintenance $700 as my salary 2k+ not over $2500 haven deduce CPF.. Say that due to my child this year P1. Will be spending more. So she don agreed to reduce. Then i told her that is it possible that reduce the amount, let me go through my financial problems first.. After that i will pay her back the same amount as usual.. No matter what she don agreed.. Now i got another big problem that my company having retrencment.. And maybe will make my financial problems more tigher.. Like to ask Bros to give some advice..

What if i got retrenched and i got health problem that need to have medication. Can't afford to pay the child maintenance of $700? Can I reduce the child maintenance? And when should i go and can i go to legal aid for help? But they have a mean test as what I know.. Am i will be eligible?

Bros.. Please give me some advice.. Hope that Bros can help me.. Thanks. .

she is so feelingless...you should have fucked her harder when she was still with you...make the alimony be worth it..

[Frankiestine]

Originally Posted by 99546

Firstly Thanks Bro Xyberdude for ur advice..

Bros.. Hope you all can give me some advice.. I have nicely talked to ex about my financial problems.. She say she don accept to reduce it as every month i give child maintenance $700 as my salary 2k+ not over $2500 haven deduce CPF.. Say that due to my child this year P1. Will be spending more. So she don agreed to reduce. Then i told her that is it possible that reduce the amount, let me go through my financial problems first.. After that i will pay her back the same amount as usual.. No matter what she don agreed.. Now i got another big problem that my company having retrencment.. And maybe will make my financial problems more tigher.. Like to ask Bros to give some advice..

What if i got retrenched and i got health problem that need to have medication. Can't afford to pay the child maintenance of $700? Can I reduce the child maintenance? And when should i go and can i go to legal aid for help? But they have a mean test as what I know.. Am i will be eligible?

Bros.. Please give me some advice.. Hope that Bros can help me.. Thanks. .

I believe if you got all the hard proof on your side on your changed financial circumstances, you can apply to court to vary the maintenance fee..

[Xyberduke]

Originally Posted by 99546

Firstly Thanks Bro Xyberdude for ur advice..

Bros.. Hope you all can give me some advice.. I have nicely talked to ex about my financial problems.. She say she don accept to reduce it as every month i give child maintenance $700 as my salary 2k+ not over $2500 haven deduce CPF.. Say that due to my child this year P1. Will be spending more. So she don agreed to reduce. Then i told her that is it possible that reduce the amount, let me go through my financial problems first.. After that i will pay her back the same amount as usual.. No matter what she don agreed.. Now i got another big problem that my company having retrencment.. And maybe will make my financial problems more tigher.. Like to ask Bros to give some advice..

What if i got retrenched and i got health problem that need to have medication. Can't afford to pay the child maintenance of $700? Can I reduce the child maintenance? And when should i go and can i go to legal aid for help? But they have a mean test as what I know.. Am i will be eligible?

Bros.. Please give me some advice.. Hope that Bros can help me.. Thanks. .

You are earning >SGD2,000. You are unlikely eligible for legal aid but you can always to a check if you are. Checks are free.

You may be retrenched, but you have not been retrenched so this is not relevant.

You continued working and received a >SGD2,000 salary amidst your health problems, so this is becomes a weak argument.

You may want to look from an angle of how much you are paying for your medical fees to sustain your health at a level to sustain your job.

Otherwise, 船到桥头自然直. Just continue doing everything that you have been doing, working... paying maintenance.... until a point where you bankrupt. All will lose, but at least you don't lose hair over it now.

Increasing your financial status is the only solution to overcome this lousy situation. Honestly, I love to increase my financial status also when I divorced many years back with $0 in my CPF OA after working for 20years, and bank account falling to record low levels that was less than my one month salary... But I picked myself up through a lot of financial cuts in every areas to tide through that difficult period. What I am trying to say is increasing financial status is an uphill task, and that is exactly what drove people to crimes. Cut your spending tremendously is the best way....

Do check with the pro bono services and see if any lawyers would like to take up your case. With the recent judgement that removed the $1 maintenance at appeal, it paved way to read the women's charter from a different perspective and changed the mindset of lawyers (especially lazy ones who gives the same common advice for all cases).

[nn80]

Need help urgently too


As my lawyer advised the separation deed is not binding.

Is it true that we can change what is in the separation deed during divorce proceeding?

[Xyberduke]

Originally Posted by nn80

Need help urgently too


As my lawyer advised the separation deed is not binding.

Is it true that we can change what is in the separation deed during divorce proceeding?

Deed of Separation you mean?
During Divorce proceedings, the start date in this free piece of paper matters most.....and cannot change.... used in counting down the 3 to 4 years...you have a deed of separation, so it is likely by consent, i.e. 3 years.

Everything else can change.... BUT, if you have unfavorable terms against you and you want to change it, you have to prove it is unfavorable. Judges are human and not fortune tellers, they do not know how you live unless you proof it to them, or "the norm" (layman's term) will be used.... if you have deed of separation that states all the terms that drive your living, that can be used as a reference because both parties agreed to that previously.

[2359]

Hello brothers, I need some advise from you all. My heart is crying and bleeding every single day. My wife and I are working. She pays for the grocery items monthly. I will take care of all other items. However, she is a OCD, control freak and personality disorder. 20 years of hell and I begin to feel the propose of marriage and my life. My weekly routine is send her to work, go to work and back to home. My weekend is send children to tuition, send and accompany her shopping and nothing else. Her temper can change from good to bad instantly. What she think and say is correct and must obey. She will scream and use abusive words like idiot, maroon, stupid, useless, no brain against me if I screw up somethings. And I always will! I am a manager in a company that make tons of decisions daily and I couldn't solve my problem. I can't leave her, she promise me that she will go to my office and make a mess if I leave her. She will send email to my whole company and tell the whole world how bad I was. I need my job to provide for my mother and children. I can't do anything beside everyday being emotional abuse by her. I am totally in a lost of what to do beside obey! I wanted to break free but I do not have any solutions at all! Do you have any advices for me? I am not sure can PPO stop her doing anything to me? I have no friends and the time meeting my mother is limited monthly. I can't even go to my company events that held on evening or weekends. She will give a hell of time if I go. I am trap in a junction and doesn't know what to do! She doesn't want to go counseling as she think it is useless. She said that if I want freedom and respect, earn enough so that she doesn't need to go work. If not, please show some react to her. I am humiliated by her whenever we quarrel. I don't use fight because I will never win. I need help and support brothers. I am alone and feeling very dispress. And I need to act like nothing when go to work. A miss call from her will be a hell of day. She wanted to link my Hp to the speaker in my car and listen to my conversation if any call come in. She checked my phone daily. She said that if you do nothing wrong, why afraid for the checking? She wanted my phone ring tone to on at home so that she will know who Message me or call me. When she sleep at night, I can't do anything beside sleep. I have no life at all! I am like a zombie. However, I am reluctant to give up as this is my life. I am seeking help from the brothers here. Please share with me your experience if you happen to have one and I really appreciate it. God Bless

[Big Sexy]

get her a bf and then use that as an excuse to dump her.

and please use paragraph mate.

Originally Posted by 2359

I wanted to break free but I do not have any solutions at all! Do you have any advices for me?

[Xyberduke]

1. Everything that you wrote was concluded in one sentence, I quote you "However, I am reluctant to give up as this is my life."

2. And you posted this in all about Marriage/Divorce.

3. If everything you wrote here is true, you have one way and the only way. But once you take that, there will only be two outcome. First being divorce and the other being reconciliation. The former is more likely.


If you call a helpline, they will ask both of you to attend marriage counselling. That will help, but the trouble is getting there in the first place. Both must agree and make an effort to go.

So, you will try by doing that.
When that fails, you will need to go for the extreme which is divorce by "unreasonable behavior". Not to really get a divorce, but take this as a litmus test whether you are a servant or husband to her. It may be better for the two of you to be apart just that neither realized it, or both may wake up and realise how stupid both were previously and make up for the time lost.

Go to a lawyer, serve her the letter.
If she wants to send emails, go to your office... just show everyone the letter you served her as that will state the grounds for unreasonable behavior. If she claims anything else without contesting those in the letter, you can sue her.

But first... elaborate on your children... how are they growing up under such influence? Sorry I put this last, but most people won't read further if I don't put any answers up front.

No matter how unlikely you are, you should try to let your children grow up normally. Today, I see a lot of children and teenagers who only see their parents as a "Bank", "Weekend Caretaker", "Evening Goodnight Kisser", "Losers".... While their helper or grandparents are servants.... THIS IS WRONG, and they are all this way because of their parents, deep in their own business and simply think they are only responsible for a roof, for food, and education of their child.....

Originally Posted by 2359

Hello brothers, I need some advise from you all. My heart is crying and bleeding every single day. My wife and I are working. She pays for the grocery items monthly. I will take care of all other items. However, she is a OCD, control freak and personality disorder. 20 years of hell and I begin to feel the propose of marriage and my life. My weekly routine is send her to work, go to work and back to home. My weekend is send children to tuition, send and accompany her shopping and nothing else. Her temper can change from good to bad instantly. What she think and say is correct and must obey. She will scream and use abusive words like idiot, maroon, stupid, useless, no brain against me if I screw up somethings. And I always will! I am a manager in a company that make tons of decisions daily and I couldn't solve my problem. I can't leave her, she promise me that she will go to my office and make a mess if I leave her. She will send email to my whole company and tell the whole world how bad I was. I need my job to provide for my mother and children. I can't do anything beside everyday being emotional abuse by her. I am totally in a lost of what to do beside obey! I wanted to break free but I do not have any solutions at all! Do you have any advices for me? I am not sure can PPO stop her doing anything to me? I have no friends and the time meeting my mother is limited monthly. I can't even go to my company events that held on evening or weekends. She will give a hell of time if I go. I am trap in a junction and doesn't know what to do! She doesn't want to go counseling as she think it is useless. She said that if I want freedom and respect, earn enough so that she doesn't need to go work. If not, please show some react to her. I am humiliated by her whenever we quarrel. I don't use fight because I will never win. I need help and support brothers. I am alone and feeling very dispress. And I need to act like nothing when go to work. A miss call from her will be a hell of day. She wanted to link my Hp to the speaker in my car and listen to my conversation if any call come in. She checked my phone daily. She said that if you do nothing wrong, why afraid for the checking? She wanted my phone ring tone to on at home so that she will know who Message me or call me. When she sleep at night, I can't do anything beside sleep. I have no life at all! I am like a zombie. However, I am reluctant to give up as this is my life. I am seeking help from the brothers here. Please share with me your experience if you happen to have one and I really appreciate it. God Bless

[Kongming2309]

Dear All Bro

I'm also scared about marriage nowadays.
i had pal who not living together with his Wife .
3 year ago for not been together hardly talk .
He was tired of her but don't know what to do ??
He hope to start new relationship .
Both salary Low hardly to buy house or start a family .

They marriage 5 yr . No kids.


Most time saw him he hardly speak up for himself ..
Felt pain for him ..

How will go I heard of some go paper is settle quickly

I came to ask around because I need to know what if this happen to himself then how ???

I also met up friends 2 for them who already divorce but no guts said it out
Just said sign paper Lor or can't face the fact I can understand that so I came here to ask around .