Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner

[Santaclaws]

Originally Posted by KangTuo

SingViet,

Lately I met a gal whom i am thinking of keeping as a mistress or maybe as 2nd wife.

Just wanna learn from you how you manage to handle 2 Viet wife and still they accepted each other?

I believe i can already see your future.

possible scenario - 2nd divorce
worse case scenario - someone ended up dead

it's a tragedy for your current gf to marry someone like you especially if she have decided to idevote entirely into this relationship to show her appreciation of you not ashamed of her past.

[Coolman_friend]

Originally Posted by Hanoi-Kid

Hey Coolman,

all the best to your re-kindled relationship...and just my 2 'Dong' worth, yes i also realise that Vn gals are very easy to chat up with other guys and gals and its normal,,my married Vn guy frens also go out with alot of gals,,,but its strictly platonic,,,,and i know of gals and guys living together in the same house,,,guys one room and gals the other,,rent is expansive in Hanoi so they have to share,,,but I do not think any hanky panky goes on.

Another scenario was. I was with this gal and she is a relative of a fren intro to me,,so we went out but could not talk much as her english very limited,,,and her cantonese also jia liat,,,and she is a very shy gal,,her family very strict with her,,,when she in school and uni,,,had to go home straight away after school,,cannot go out at night and so on,,,but in the cab she chat with the taxi driver like no tomorrow,,,and its pretty normal,,even for conservative gals,,,(i told my fren about this and was told is pretty normal)

bottom line is their attitudes are abit different,,but does not mean they not faithful or having affairs,,but also,,as in all things,,,caution is advised and safety is number 1,, cannot control too tight as will lead to problems in the relationship,,but also have to be sure the gal is not fooling around,,so as not wear to green hat,,,

its a balancing act,,,but so is all relationships,,all the best to u and your gal,,,

Hi Hanoi-Kid,


Thanks for your sharing your thought , I have also ponder about this for sometime perhap this is their culture in vietnam whereas in singapore , we are seldom so friendly toward stranger.Many time when i was chatting with her , i always have the odd feeling that some guys are around her and sometime i can heard some conversation in the background.
This truly annoyed me and sometime i do feel angry and suspicious that some guys are with her.
I became heated up and my tone seem to change as well and things always turn out to be nasty. Either she hang my phone or i will shout at her and scold her for little things.She don't really understand why i feel that way and take it as if nothing happen ,but for me i always have the feeling of being cheated.
Though she was touch for what i have done for her and she always told me that i'm very good to her. She also told me she will never love and
fall for any guy in vietnam. She told me though there is many nice guys in vietnam but most of them are very unstable in the long run .
They can't even take care of themselve and their famly , how will the guy be able to take care of the wife and children.
To me , she seem sensible and mature to think in this way and also make feel relieve to hear that. What can i say, after all i can only believe
her and have trust in her. As time goes by ,she will understand whatever i do for her is because i love her wholeheartedly and not just for sex.
If i want purely for sex, i will have go to JC and bonk any girls i like and just pay the for the session. Why should i want to spend so much time and money on her.
Don't get me wrong, she is not a WL and the first day i get to know her, i have been taking care of her and she know that I have never let her down in term of whatever i can do for her. Just that i sometime feel that maybe i do not understand their language well and many things are not able to communicate well.
But sometime all this unnecessary doubt are clear once you get to understand her more and show more faith in your girl.
Vietnam girls are not easy to tame them and you must always use the soft approach , and never be harsh to them cause they can be very nasty.
I have learn many lessons already athough i used to be very quick-temper with her when things don't get my way.
Now i have learned how to be control my temper and tone down my voice even i'm not happy with her, she has become more submissive from than
and things seem to be on the brighter side now.

I have been following this thread for sometime and have learn alot from all the brothers here , well i do agree that Bro Singviet had share many of his
precious experienece with vietnam gals as well as thier culture. Sometime i slowly feel ike i have also been through his footstep im some way or another.
Although your advise here is very rewarding to all brothers here who already have or have the intention to have a vietnam life partner.
You can't simply say we are using our small brain (dick) to think and not knowing what we truly seek for, just like your thread understand a vietnamese life partner.
If not , you think who will bother to come to your thread and read all this story. Cause we do share a common interest -to understand our vietnamese life partner.
Sorry for being too direct but i don't mean to make you feel offended . I'm just stating my point of view and i'm still enjoying reading your thread every now and then just that i don't post anything all this while.

[SingViet]

Originally Posted by KangTuo

SingViet,

Lately I met a gal whom i am thinking of keeping as a mistress or maybe as 2nd wife.

Just wanna learn from you how you manage to handle 2 Viet wife and still they accepted each other?

Bro, the acceptance part is the most difficult. There will always be a storm before everything settles down, but sweet words and lots of reassurance that you will still care for her is very important. But this differs from gal to gal, most of the ladies will not be able to accept while some will be able to take it after some time. Give her some time, lots of sweet words and super a lot of reassurance. But what i feel is the most important is that i already have kids and my first lady thinks and considers for my kid's future. Nowadays, i spend around 10 days in HCMC monthly and 20 days in Singapore. Most of the time still dedicated to my first lady.

As for my 2nd lady, she's a graduate and has a stable job that pays her US$700 a month. I only give her around US$500 a month for household expenses. She's most of the time busy with work. Every 6 months or so, she will also come to singapore with me for some shopping and also `pay respect' to my first lady.

[KangTuo]

Originally Posted by jackbl

IMHO, must try hard not to have this idea, it wont be good...

Originally Posted by Santaclaws

I believe i can already see your future.

possible scenario - 2nd divorce
worse case scenario - someone ended up dead

Thanks bro. Yesterday I was not in th right frame of mind. I was thinking with my little bro with no brain.

Originally Posted by SingViet

Bro, the acceptance part is the most difficult. There will always be a storm before everything settles down, but sweet words and lots of reassurance that you will still care for her is very important.

It is rather tiring to reassure and talk sweet words everyday... Coaxing my galfriend already tired me out... I will not try to handle 2 gals at a time.

This new gal that I know...will have to go someday.

[Panamera]

Originally Posted by KangTuo

Thanks bro. Yesterday I was not in th right frame of mind. I was thinking with my little bro with no brain.

Yo Bro KangTuo, How are you, man? No wonder la, I noticed something strange from your last nite posting that I did a double check on your nics...kekeke..it's not the KangTuo that I know....Chill, bro..

[chanyboy]

Originally Posted by SingViet

...My wife shower with me daily, scrub my back and feet and wash my face for me. Feels good. ..

Originally Posted by SingViet

.... Every 6 months or so, she will also come to singapore with me for some shopping and also `pay respect' to my first lady.

me fainted... SV.

It seems comm is a major problem...onli can talk the same thing again & again (and dunno what to talk next)...cannot go deeper into other topics.

There's another bro shared in earlier post that vn-gf always want to get pregnant - even marriage is not through yet. This sounds "scary"...

KT getting a 2nd? I reckon 1 is hard to tackle roi... and if they hv a whole 'load of ger frens' in Sg -- u can't go anyway in SG - even to sip kopi or lim teh. Just like bro SV, seldom come out with bros to sip...

[KangTuo]

Originally Posted by Panamera

Yo Bro KangTuo, How are you, man? No wonder la, I noticed something strange from your last nite posting that I did a double check on your nics...kekeke..it's not the KangTuo that I know....Chill, bro..

The problem is becoz of the danger game that I am playing in JC/GL... xian the gals rather than pay and fcuk.

Originally Posted by chanyboy

me fainted... SV.

It seems comm is a major problem...onli can talk the same thing again & again (and dunno what to talk next)...cannot go deeper into other topics.

There's another bro shared in earlier post that vn-gf always want to get pregnant - even marriage is not through yet. This sounds "scary"...

I also talk same thing again and again with my galfriend becoz of the limitation of my tieng viet. Sometimes when my galfriend keep asking me 'an gi chua?'... i know she runs out of things to talk on the phone.

indeed vn gf would not mind getting pregnant before marriage. Few gals i know from JC/GL also offers that... knn i straight away delete them from my contact. Lucky my galfriend understands the reason for not getting pregnant before marriage.

Originally Posted by chanyboy

KT getting a 2nd? I reckon 1 is hard to tackle roi... and if they hv a whole 'load of ger frens' in Sg -- u can't go anyway in SG - even to sip kopi or lim teh. Just like bro SV, seldom come out with bros to sip...

this is true.. if too many friends of galfreinds in SG, I will not be able to go to my usual playground anymore.

3 times kana spotted by spies in JC pub, straight away I got phone calls from my galfriend. She never restrict me from having coffee/beer in JC, but cannot be very often and cannot be going home too late.

many times spotted by friends of 'galfriends'.... i also recieve calls all the way from vn. I really salute their networking...

[cashier]

Originally Posted by KangTuo

The problem is becoz of the danger game that I am playing in JC/GL... xian the gals rather than pay and fcuk.




I also talk same thing again and again with my galfriend becoz of the limitation of my tieng viet. Sometimes when my galfriend keep asking me 'an gi chua?'... i know she runs out of things to talk on the phone.

indeed vn gf would not mind getting pregnant before marriage. Few gals i know from JC/GL also offers that... knn i straight away delete them from my contact. Lucky my galfriend understands the reason for not getting pregnant before marriage.



this is true.. if too many friends of galfreinds in SG, I will not be able to go to my usual playground anymore.

3 times kana spotted by spies in JC pub, straight away I got phone calls from my galfriend. She never restrict me from having coffee/beer in JC, but cannot be very often and cannot be going home too late.

many times spotted by friends of 'galfriends'.... i also recieve calls all the way from vn. I really salute their networking...

Need helps from brothershere.

Sianing JC gals is different ball game from sianing normal VN gals of upper middle class all together. Now is trying to sian a VN gal studying in singapore and has setbacks. sianing JC gal has been much easier for me hence has been having difficulties understanding how to sian normal VN gals. they are different from sianing normal singapore gal too.

Any bro has any idea how to tackle this issue?

Thanks in advance for any "tips"

[Hurricane88]

Originally Posted by cashier

Need helps from brothershere.

Sianing JC gals is different ball game from sianing normal VN gals of upper middle class all together. Now is trying to sian a VN gal studying in singapore and has setbacks. sianing JC gal has been much easier for me hence has been having difficulties understanding how to sian normal VN gals. they are different from sianing normal singapore gal too.

Any bro has any idea how to tackle this issue?

Thanks in advance for any "tips"

hahaha..sure they are different...gals studying in Sin are usually from good decent background and rich...dun be surprise that they are ministers or tycoon's daughters...usually these gals are already match make since young....another words their parents wanted them to marry equal status local Vn guy...you may want to find out more before you get yourself hurt badly...

There are some exceptions and then depends on who you wanted to xian...please be more specific so that we can help you because these gals should be able to speak some English liao...

[69ASIMO69]

Originally Posted by ekemono

I kena this one before. My wife came SG way too early and it was about more than a month away to our ROM. So they did not extend her stay and she has to go back for a while.

You go to ICA visitor centre, dun Q for any number cos they will throw it back at your face.
Walk in, turn right to the end. You will see ICA uniform officer standing there and helping some folks with internet application. Present your case to them, and if you are lucky, they will bring you straight to counter and chop extension. Bring along ROM application as proof.

The nicest lady officer seems to be the Chinese slim auntie with short hair. I also got her help but I stupid. I delay another day to go back discuss with wife. Next day came it was a Malay auntie who threw it back onto my face, non negoitiable...

Thanks for the advice bro... I check with ICA already. We came in on 12 march, 11 april must got approval from internet to extend for 1 month will 11 may. 10 may i rom then immediately 11 may i must go ICA with the ROM cert and submit application for long term pass, in the midst of applying for long term pass, they will extend her visa here. internet extending , there is a clause must leave the country for at least 5 days after the month extend they give but this does not apply to someone who got rom during extention period so no troubles for me already..

Any bro here can advice: why we must apply for long term pass 1st, cant we immediatle apply for citizenship?

[Hurricane88]

Originally Posted by 69ASIMO69

Thanks for the advice bro... I check with ICA already. We came in on 12 march, 11 april must got approval from internet to extend for 1 month will 11 may. 10 may i rom then immediately 11 may i must go ICA with the ROM cert and submit application for long term pass, in the midst of applying for long term pass, they will extend her visa here. internet extending , there is a clause must leave the country for at least 5 days after the month extend they give but this does not apply to someone who got rom during extention period so no troubles for me already..

Any bro here can advice: why we must apply for long term pass 1st, cant we immediatle apply for citizenship?

This is ICA procedure...first your new foreign wife must reside in Sin on a long term pass for at least 2 years... then apply for PR for at least 2 years then only can apply Citizenship...this is only if you earn enough to support her stay in Sin...hahaha...welcome to Sin...

[Honey Boon]

bro, I like your term of "pay respect" ......

Originally Posted by SingViet

Every 6 months or so, she will also come to singapore with me for some shopping and also `pay respect' to my first lady.

[birdie8819]

Important Notice -


Just got a message from one of our bro's here -

Bro technofreak is in critical condition in SGH hospital and he needs some 'O' blood anyone can help please help him out .


Thanks
birdie8819

[SingViet]

Originally Posted by 69ASIMO69

Any bro here can advice: why we must apply for long term pass 1st, cant we immediatle apply for citizenship?

Bro, the normal procedure is for yr VN spouse to apply for Long Term Social Visit Pass first before she applies for PR. As PR application will take up to 6 months for some cases, the Long Term social visit pass will allow yr VN spouse to stay in Singapore for the time being.

After getting PR for 2 years, yr wife can then apply for Citizenship. Just like any other countries, i was told by my wife's citizenship application officer last time that they use the points system .

[David_Villa]

Originally Posted by birdie8819

Important Notice -


Just got a message from one of our bro's here -

Bro technofreak is in critical condition in SGH hospital and he needs some 'O' blood anyone can help please help him out .


Thanks
birdie8819

What happen to him?