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  #1  
Old 26-05-2015, 06:47 PM
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IwantbustyKim IwantbustyKim is offline
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Muslim Cleric: If you masturbate, ur hands becum pregnant in afterlife

http://www.hurriyetdailynews.com/masturbating-men-will-find-their-hands-pregnant-in-the-afterlife-says-muslim-televangelist.aspx?pageID=238&nID=82936&NewsCatID= 393

After claiming that a man would meet his masturbating hand “pregnant in the afterlife” and “asking for its rights,” a Muslim televangelist has set Turkish social media aflame.

Self-styled televangelist Mücahid Cihad Han dived into some delicate matters on May 24 when he answered his viewers’ questions on private television station 2000 TV, Turkish media has reported. Han initially looked puzzled when a viewer said he “kept masturbating, although he was married, and even during the Umrah,” a pilgrimage to Mecca performed by Muslims which can be undertaken at any time of the year, in contrast to the Hajj.

After repeating the question a few times, Han claimed that Islam strictly prohibits masturbation as a “haram” (forbidden) act. “Moreover, one hadith states that those who have sexual intercourse with their hands will find their hands pregnant in the afterlife, complaining against them to God over its rights,” he said, referring to what he claimed to be a saying of Prophet Muhammad.

“If our viewer was single, I could recommend he marry, but what can I say now?” the televangelist added, advising the viewer to “resist Satan’s temptations.”

Is masturbation forbidden in Islam?

“Istimna,” the Arabic term for masturbation that Han also referred to, is a controversial issue in Islam, as there have been varying opinions on its permissibility throughout history. The Quran has no clear reference to masturbation and the authenticity of many hadiths is questionable.

Despite Han’s assertive religious stance, only a limited number of Islamic interpretations categorize masturbation as “haram,” while most of others call it a “makruh” (disliked) act. Many of the mainstream Islamic interpretations even allow it in certain conditions, like if the act could be used to avoid the temptation of an extramarital affair. 

Han, who has more than 12,000 followers on Twitter, was mocked on Turkish social media on May 25, after newspapers published his latest television “fatwa.” 

“Are there any hand-gynaecologists in the afterlife? Is abortion allowed there?” one Twitter user asked, while mentioning Han’s Twitter user name.

“So you think that being pregnant is a God-given punishment?” another user asked.
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  #2  
Old 26-05-2015, 10:22 PM
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Re: Muslim Cleric: If you masturbate, ur hands becum pregnant in afterlife

I don't know whether to laugh or to cry at the stupidity of religion.
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  #3  
Old 26-05-2015, 10:26 PM
JohnWuSeh JohnWuSeh is offline
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Re: Muslim Cleric: If you masturbate, ur hands becum pregnant in afterlife

Ignorant donkey do understand science
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Old 26-05-2015, 10:50 PM
Gaambirsarawak Gaambirsarawak is offline
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Re: Muslim Cleric: If you masturbate, ur hands becum pregnant in afterlife

Quote:
Originally Posted by IwantbustyKim View Post
I don't know whether to laugh or to cry at the stupidity of religion.
Are you also insulting those who worship statues, burning money for the dead as well?
  #5  
Old 26-05-2015, 11:12 PM
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Re: Muslim Cleric: If you masturbate, ur hands becum pregnant in afterlife

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Originally Posted by Gaambirsarawak View Post
Are you also insulting those who worship statues, burning money for the dead as well?
ALL religions.... but especially those who demand their wives have sex on camels...

http://www.breitbart.com/national-se...nd-demands-it/
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  #6  
Old 27-05-2015, 11:56 AM
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Re: Muslim Cleric: If you masturbate, ur hands becum pregnant in afterlife

I really wonder did he had pregnancy in his hands in his afterlife before he reincarnated to be where he is now.
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  #7  
Old 27-05-2015, 12:27 PM
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Re: Muslim Cleric: If you masturbate, ur hands becum pregnant in afterlife

life is never bored when u heard these.
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Old 27-05-2015, 01:58 PM
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Re: Muslim Cleric: If you masturbate, ur hands becum pregnant in afterlife

i hope i don't see my beds, bolsters, pillows, blanket, PJs in the afterlife......... i wet dream many times before.........
  #9  
Old 27-05-2015, 01:59 PM
Jiaolang Jiaolang is offline
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Re: Muslim Cleric: If you masturbate, ur hands becum pregnant in afterlife

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gaambirsarawak View Post
Are you also insulting those who worship statues, burning money for the dead as well?
Ya we burn money for our dead out of respect.

Last edited by Jiaolang; 28-05-2015 at 12:41 PM.
  #10  
Old 27-05-2015, 03:49 PM
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IwantbustyKim IwantbustyKim is offline
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Re: Muslim Cleric: If you masturbate, ur hands becum pregnant in afterlife

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Originally Posted by Jiaolang View Post
Ya we burn money for our dead out of respect. At least we dun advocate beheading in our holy texts
Dun anyhow say okie... later people get upset...

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Old 28-05-2015, 03:03 AM
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Re: Muslim Cleric: If you masturbate, ur hands becum pregnant in afterlife

Of course we know what circumcision was for: prevent masturbation, but studies shown it doesn't make people masturbate less.
Sex, shelter, security, food, etc are basic needs one cannot deny. What surfaced from the yahweh god belief (woman hater) was 3 Abrahamic religions: Judaism, Islam and Christianity all shared the same source. All 3 tries to replace one's basic needs which is to supress it and replace with the 'god' idealogy (thank god for food, god guides your life, refrain from sex, every little things attributed to god, etc). This creates an unnatural tension and gap and an unsatisfying relationship with the unknown, and thus hate, jealousy, etc arise. That's why these people are like this. Just a doggy thought.
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Old 28-05-2015, 12:13 PM
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Re: Muslim Cleric: If you masturbate, ur hands becum pregnant in afterlife

Quote:
Originally Posted by ddog View Post
Of course we know what circumcision was for: prevent masturbation, but studies shown it doesn't make people masturbate less.
Sex, shelter, security, food, etc are basic needs one cannot deny. What surfaced from the yahweh god belief (woman hater) was 3 Abrahamic religions: Judaism, Islam and Christianity all shared the same source. All 3 tries to replace one's basic needs which is to supress it and replace with the 'god' idealogy (thank god for food, god guides your life, refrain from sex, every little things attributed to god, etc). This creates an unnatural tension and gap and an unsatisfying relationship with the unknown, and thus hate, jealousy, etc arise. That's why these people are like this. Just a doggy thought.
Religion is like sex, when it comes to sex, guys brain goes to the penis.
When it comes to religion, the brain goes to the backside.


All religious leaders will agree that it takes faith to believe in God.
Not reasoning, not logic.

But they use reasoning and logic when it is convenient, when it is on their side.
They use logic to convert people. some times emotions.

Then when logic and reasoning is not on their side, (ie there is not answer or they cannot answer) they say things of God cannot use logic and reasoning. You need faith.
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  #13  
Old 02-06-2015, 12:07 PM
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IwantbustyKim IwantbustyKim is offline
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Re: Muslim Cleric: If you masturbate, ur hands becum pregnant in afterlife

Quote:
Originally Posted by KCisBad View Post
Religion is like sex, when it comes to sex, guys brain goes to the penis.
When it comes to religion, the brain goes to the backside.


All religious leaders will agree that it takes faith to believe in God.
Not reasoning, not logic.

But they use reasoning and logic when it is convenient, when it is on their side.
They use logic to convert people. some times emotions.

Then when logic and reasoning is not on their side, (ie there is not answer or they cannot answer) they say things of God cannot use logic and reasoning. You need faith.
And that is why I don't have faith in faith itself. Its a social construct designed to keep the general population or believers in line while their leaders do as they please and justify their actions by quoting some ancient pre-scientific text or ritual that have no resemblance to social norms today.

The sooner you free yourself from the shackles of what some person said in the past to control people, the sooner you get to enjoy life as it is today to the maximum, aka have as much wanton (But safe) sex as possible.....
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  #14  
Old 07-06-2015, 02:12 PM
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Re: Muslim Cleric: If you masturbate, ur hands becum pregnant in afterlife

Quote:
Originally Posted by SirTalkCock View Post
Talk cock can kill faster

Its not how long you live, its how well you do... cos this is it... there is no more afterlife and especially where you can get 72 virgins (that is just plain dumb)

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  #15  
Old 08-06-2015, 04:25 PM
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Re: Muslim Cleric: If you masturbate, ur hands becum pregnant in afterlife





Also, I heard the one where they say "72 virgins? Is just 72 other idiots just like yourself! "

HAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

Made me laugh until my stomach cramp.
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Last edited by KCisBad; 12-06-2015 at 03:19 PM.
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