Reliving my Sub-Conscious Thoughts

AUDITH · #1 19-01-2015, 02:37 AM

As a kid, I love playing & wearing my mum’s clothing. It’s till teenager days, I tell myself to stop this fetish. Till now, I’ll get excited with female clothing & doll. From teenager till now, I’m always a heterosexual.

Recently, I have a prostate massage via finger. The sensational orgasm makes feel light, awake & much healthy. This never happens in my heterosexual life. Having waiting more, I have been fingering my prostate & anal frequently.

Then imaginations run wild. I want to incorporate cross-dressing with anal penetration as one.

Now, I tell myself that in this lifetime, I want to be anal penetrated as cross-dress. The penetration can be carried out by a female using strap-on or by a penis. I want to place a towel below my butt for my virgin anal penetration because I want to keep the bloody towel as lifetime souvenir. If possible, I don’t filming this memorable event as an adult-video. Perhaps, I can play in another few more adult-video. But my true heterosexual identity has to be kept secret.

I have thoughts of working in the nights & weekends in Desker Road to satisfy my fetish. But I wonder if I need to apply with Specialize Crime Division (former Anti-Vice) & DSC just like any other WL. I’m not interested in CD FB relationship or outcall or escorting.

To practice my fetish, I’m willing to take Estrogen, wax off my body hair, temporary lower my male heterosexual sex drive & grow breast not bigger than B-cup. I want to bring the female side out of my voice, completion & hips. Thereafter, I’ll return back to the former heterosexual. Maybe next time, I can be better husband or father in another approach from the experience I gain as a female.

Thank you for reading a secret thought I have kept in my sub-conscious mind for the past 33 years of my life.

CantoCat · #2 19-01-2015, 02:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AUDITH

As a kid, I love playing & wearing my mum’s clothing. It’s till teenager days, I tell myself to stop this fetish. Till now, I’ll get excited with female clothing & doll. From teenager till now, I’m always a heterosexual.

Recently, I have a prostate massage via finger. The sensational orgasm makes feel light, awake & much healthy. This never happens in my heterosexual life. Having waiting more, I have been fingering my prostate & anal frequently.

Then imaginations run wild. I want to incorporate cross-dressing with anal penetration as one.

Now, I tell myself that in this lifetime, I want to be anal penetrated as cross-dress. The penetration can be carried out by a female using strap-on or by a penis. I want to place a towel below my butt for my virgin anal penetration because I want to keep the bloody towel as lifetime souvenir. If possible, I don’t filming this memorable event as an adult-video. Perhaps, I can play in another few more adult-video. But my true heterosexual identity has to be kept secret.

I have thoughts of working in the nights & weekends in Desker Road to satisfy my fetish. But I wonder if I need to apply with Specialize Crime Division (former Anti-Vice) & DSC just like any other WL. I’m not interested in CD FB relationship or outcall or escorting.

To practice my fetish, I’m willing to take Estrogen, wax off my body hair, temporary lower my male heterosexual sex drive & grow breast not bigger than B-cup. I want to bring the female side out of my voice, completion & hips. Thereafter, I’ll return back to the former heterosexual. Maybe next time, I can be better husband or father in another approach from the experience I gain as a female.

Thank you for reading a secret thought I have kept in my sub-conscious mind for the past 33 years of my life.

Ah, you are describing normal thoughts and feelings....of a transgender person. While most people are never entirely one gender, you and I have stronger tendencies to be more to the feminine side of the gender spectrum.
And if all these words sound 'male' it is cos smart words always sound male haha... damn academics tsk tsk all old bald smelly men making up hard words for the rest of us!

U can suppress all you want. But...what do u think? good idea?

If u still find women and men attractive then you have bi- or pansexual needs. If only women then u r trans-lesbian. If only men then you are what the old school trans call 'normal' ha!

Im more pansexual...I look at the frying pan and feel ooooooh babeeeee...do me... no no i m just j/k !

I m attracted to pretty girls, pretty CDs, TVs, drag queens, transsexuals, and some kinds of men, usually soft pretty boys, but for some weird reason that is not in line with I like some kinds of manly men too....go figure...

None of these thoughts u have are a problem. But what do u want to do with them?

spoonge · #3 21-01-2015, 01:14 AM

Perhaps, this he’s suffering from high testosterone level that causes him to have extreme high sex drive, pervert, aggressive & violence character. That’s why he wants to consume Estrogen to lower his sex drive.

Don’t think LB can to clear Specialize Crime Division (former Anti-Vice) & DSC just like any other WL. They have to play hide & seek with Specialize Crime Division in Desker Rd. Also, Anal is technically illegal.

CantoCat · #4 21-01-2015, 12:49 PM

The laws of man cannot control the anus of ladyboys - George W Bush

newlywedbride · #5 22-01-2015, 06:25 PM

(To TS) You can try write-in to porn production company outside Singapore or medical institution doing such research. Perhaps everything will be sponsored.

As for working in Desker Rd in case there’s raid, I don’t think the customer will want to be witness in court because he himself will be punish by the law too.

As for Estrogen, I just come across a video that gentlemen do get periods after consuming Estrogen. Don’t think tampon is able to slip in the urinal canal of the penis. You have to get use to sanitary pad. Please consult a doctor for the right Estrogen dosage.

Hope you don’t have NS duties anymore. If not, you may need lots of courage to inform such condition.

Don’t mind…

Are you having testosterone induce sex drive, pervert, aggressive & violence character? This can be medical treated. Don’t really need heavy dosage of Estrogen for transsexual.

Or…

Are you having an unusual huge male genital whereby no lady will want intercourse session with you? As a result, you can’t get stratification in a heterosexual lifestyle. Perhaps, you can find a mature lady partner. They prefer such sizes.

I like your idea of keeping the bloody virgin anal penetration towel as lifetime souvenir. You do have a lady mind. I believe that you will be better husband or father in another approach from the experience you are going to gain as a female. You are the type that’ll turn on a lady. It’s kind of like having a sister partner.

All the best.

CrossD · #6 22-01-2015, 08:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newlywedbride

(To TS) You can try write-in to porn production company outside Singapore or medical institution doing such research. Perhaps everything will be sponsored.

I searched but cannot find anything about that haha.

AUDITH · #7 24-01-2015, 02:59 AM

(To Sister Newlywedbride) All your guesses are quite true. You are smart. I’m indeed having testosterone induced problem. I need to abstain from my favourite seafood to prevent sudden raise in testosterone level. At times, I really want to wear a cock-cage. The worse mistake I have made is to have penis enlargement. I’m wrong that ladies all love huge penis.

Only mature ladies are willing to have sessions with me. Age 35 & above are handful. Age 40 & above are usual. Pre-menopause lady are always.

My erection takes a long time & it goes monumentally into a full erection. Young ladies are turned off by the duration & the huge size. In order to achieve rock solid erection due to age, I have to run just to train & maintain my cardio muscle. I have to cut down coffee, alcohol, cigarette intake & control diet. If not, I’ll need to wear a cock ring.

But this’s not the biggest reason for cross-dress anal penetration. Its prostate massage & childhood cross-dress experience.

Other than cross-dress to allow anal penetration, a good husband must be willing to be cuckold just to fulfil his wife emotionally. A ex classmate once tell me ‘ni ren tou shi fan jian de’, meaning ladies are naturally sluts (no offence). During childhood, he ignorantly does penile penetration on his auntie by her seductive sexual abuse invitation.

During my childhood, my mum shower nude together, cross-dress me, foreplay, tongue fight French, BBBJ, CIM, HJ & sleep nude with me. I lick her clitoris, finger her, change clothing & handkerchief (as sanitary pad) for her. Kinda love this.

I notice when a lady reach 30, her testosterone level increases. The sex drive peak is during pre-menopause. This brings out the true inner self of ladies wanting to have multiple partners. Ladies don’t masturbate their daughter. Male don’t masturbate or penetrate their daughter. Ladies usually fulfil their needs on son, nephew or bull.

On the emotion side, a wife just wants husband to hear them & never expect solution. But unfortunately, husband always feel wife is a nagger. Satisfy a lady’s emotion & she’ll satisfy to you sexually.

A good wife shall voice out cross-dressing (female dominatrix at later stage) her husband to bring out his inner self & knows when the husband is not ready to hear her. When a man is in the wrong mood, he’ll not voice out like a lady & prefer to be alone. But wife continue to talk. It eventually escalates to been labelled as nagger wife. Later stage, a husband may keep mistress because he wants to use money to satisfy his search for quietness. Woman love & man lust. In fact man doesn’t ready need a mistress. Sex in man is activated by visual & no emotion. It’s kind of hit & run.

(To continue)

AUDITH · #8 24-01-2015, 03:00 AM

As for Estrogen induce period on male, I’m ok. Perhaps I can consume birth control pill. I need to find if this’s fusible. Maybe I’ll use a handkerchief as sanitary pad. I love playing with bloody mess.

(To everyone) Working in Desker Rd, porn filming & Estrogen will be later stage. My reservist is coming to end. I want to finish all. For now, I’m learning make-up, wig & clothing selection that best suit my facial. Next, will be waxing, lady walking, walking high heel & training female voice. Step by step.

Thank you for reading more secret thoughts I have kept in my sub-conscious mind for the past 33 years of my life.

newlywedbride · #9 24-01-2015, 11:09 AM

(To Sister Audith) I’m not so smart. I have a very unusual encounter. This’s because I’m married to a gentleman with unusual huge penis.

After my virgin intercourse with my spouse, the pain on my genitals lasted 7 days; my genitals bleed for 4 days, have constipation for 2 days, coughing out phlegm for 1 day, and harden of nipples / clitoris for 1 day, tighten virginal/ anus wall for 1 day, muscle ach for a day and feeling restless / tired for 1 day. I need to drink orange juice to clear my constipation.

My genital no longer bleeds from the fifth session onwards.

It’s such encounter that triggers me to read this forum. From this forum, I realise the agony of having a huge penis. As a respect, I never ask my spouse whether his huge penis is natural or enlarge. I’m a lady around the high testosterone age. Therefore, I’m fine with it.

If you are finding a lady partner to penetrate your anal using a strap on, make sure she’s slightly fit. It takes a great deal of time. The penis may not erect. But the juice flows slowly with a final milky white cum. I run & do weight training in order to give my spouse such pleasure.

Currently, my spouse wants me to turn him into my sorority sissy. Not the cuckold sissy type. Therefore we are exploring on cross-dressing & MTF stuff. Perhaps female dominatrix (later stage).

There’s always animal self within human because human is an animal too. You have spilt all hidden thoughts of ladies. I like your explanation on cuckold lifestyle; especially on the mature lady & a kid. I have learned that testosterone is the magic chemical & there’s a treatment for this so as not to veer on track. A wife must also know the appropriate time to speak in order to catch his heart.

I use a handkerchief as a sanitary pad too.

You seem to be an old bird in sex & relationship.

Cheating husband caught sleeping with his wife’s mother for four years:

Cross dressing internet anchor woman moonlights as call girl in western China:

Please keep us update on your progress. Thanks!

(To all) Perhaps, CD/ LB is more of missionary hobby & not for commercial monetary gain.

AlKuwaiti · #10 25-01-2015, 11:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by spoonge

Also, Anal is technically illegal.

Although its illegal, but its not enforced right?

spoonge · #11 26-01-2015, 08:37 PM

Wow! Prostate massage, MTF Estrogen induces period & anal intercourse. They do have some link.

(To Audith & newlywedbride) Periods do occur on gentleman. It’s obvious only on gentleman with strong Prostate (meaning frequent Prostate Massage) who is able to orgasm with whitish juice containing sperm in a continuously manner throughout the session. The orgasm is never the usual instantaneous & simultaneous type. They are able to make a lady pregnant during ovulation without the need to force ejaculate.

During gentleman period, his body feels hearty, have mild constipation, achieve only 90% orgasm & mild pain on anal penetration. No matter how strong his PC muscles are, he’ll only ejaculate watery whitish cum naturally (don’t have force) on the first day of his period.

Why so?

Wherever a gentleman has an instantaneous ejaculation, small amount of sperm will reside in his Prostate. But, Prostate Massage strengthens the Prostate to enable it to pump sperm out from the sperm duct, through the Prostate & out from the urinal duct continuously. Therefore, Prostate Massage can be call milking. Explanation by sexology:

Prostate Massage need not be carried out via anal penetration. Push up the scrotum & testicle; press on the previous scrotum & testicle position & that’s the Prostate. A qualify TCM or JG Girl will know all the methods.

If a gentleman & lady couple lives together, their period will somehow be inline. Gentleman’s period starts the next day after the lady’s period end which is the lady safe period. Therefore, the gentleman can ejaculate into lady bareback without the need for birth control. For healthy TCM living, the gentlemen needs mild amount of Yang (Estrogen) & the lady needs mild amount of Yin (Testosterone) to achieve Yin Yang balance. So, only bareback sex can achieve the Yin & Yang.

Please do this only in committed monogamy relationship. This doesn’t apply to lady with high Testosterone disorder.

When ladies live together, their period will be inline. That’s why ancient Chinese emperor houses his concubine in different chamber.

I don’t know anything on MTF Estrogen induce period. But I do believe this’ll happen because periods do occur on gentleman whom is not on Estrogen.