Ruler Loong and his lackeys thinks local peasants are imbeciles

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Transmodified from hxxp://www.channelnewsasia.com/news/singapore/no-change-in-way-online-sites-operate-wi/697224.html

PEASANTPORE: The regime, thinking local peasants are idiots, claimed on Tuesday that there will be subtle changes in the way 'regime unfriendly' online news sites are regulated after hapless Yakult rolled out details of his wealthy Media Dung Arses' attempt to censor the Internet.

It is the latest series of lies by the regime to counter rightful protests by the arty farty online community aka netizens. The netizens are concerned that the new legalist rulings will clamp down freedom of expression on the internet.

Joining the salvo, the Ministry of Propoganda said the regime's approach is that Ruler Loong's lackeys have discretionary powers to order new sites to take down news that exposed the regime's dirty tricks and anti-peasants' policies.

It added that the regime, wary of the role that the Internet played in the Arab Spring, decided that such a Stalinist move will be in the best interests of Familee. For example, it was brave netizens who divulged that Patrick Tan's somehow styled himself as a Military Scientist during his National Serfship while his Papa was the Minion of Defense. This forced a red-faced Phony Tan to issued numerous clarifications that only allowed more mud slinging onto his clan during the Procedural Rubber Stamping Presidential Erections.

"Fucking hell, you think this is a Nordic country huh? Can use the Internet to attack Familee and their lackeys is it? Fucking hell better wake up, in an Asiatic despotic society, as that Boy George Yeo once summarised, better know your place, small people better kowtow Ruler Loong and their Minions whenever possible and not treat them as Westminister serfs.," crowed the Ministry of Propoganda.

This is especially so as more local peasants avoided the mainstream state Mouthpiece and go online for the real news.

The ministry added that an individual licence is another legalist trick used to pressure foreign new websites, namely Yahoo News! The rebellious Yahoo Singapore columnists and loosely affiliated Yahoo bloggers have been taking potshots at the regime's missteps and made Ruler Loong look like a petty Persian merchant.

"Licensees will enjoy the same freedom of expression if they write glowing reviews about the regime, sing praises of Great Ruler LKY and fawn Dear Ruler Loong. Those who use Jane Austen prose to whack the regime.....you think we cannot hit you is it? With this latest legalist tool, we will prise your arses open if you continue to snipe at our mistakes ok!

Under the glare was the discretionary power given to the wealthy lackeys in Media Dung Arses. The MDA lackeys now have legal power and could by their whims and fancies, order websites to take down unflattering news regarding the wicked regime, within 24-hour."

It said the lackeys in the Media Dung Arses (MDA) are slowly tightening the noose on the Yahoo Peasantpore portal.

Propoganda Minion Dr Yakult said: "Get it, Ruler Loong wants his stupid local peasants to hear the RIGHT thing, not the facts ok. Supposing we allow Yahoo News to give online commentaries that make fun of Ruler Loong's mistakes, his minions' gabras and lackeys' evil doings....... or contradict Great Leader LKY's view, you think we allow meh? You fucking disagree with the regime and expose its wrong doings, you think we allow you to live is it?

Fucking hell, you are lucky I failed to implement Hudud Laws ok, otherwise the Chief Editor of Yahoo News Peasantpore will be publicly flogged ok!"

However the Minion acknowledged that public communication about the issue could have been done better.

"I told the two fuckers in MDA that you do not tell the local peasants that you want to censor the fucking internet, then go and buy expensive condos. Now news are spreading like wild fire that we overpaid MDA lackeys to censor the internet so that they buy 10 million peanuts seaview condos.

Ok, don't sidetrack, at the end of the day, anything we do, sure got lumpar netizens complain one. So I fucking get used to it liao. I am warning the lumpar netizens that they better wake up and stop writing commentaries to embarrass Ruler Loong ok. Otherwise I will really implement Hudud Laws," gnarled Dr Yakult.

Yahoo Singapore have been told to fork out a performance bond of 50,000 peanuts to Ho Jinx's Overseas Gambling Fund.

The Chief Editor of Yahoo is given a warning that he must comply with any take-down notice from MDA lackeys within 24 hours or be whipped with boiled cabbages.


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