Thoughts?

Blim · #1 21-08-2012, 12:45 PM

Dear bros,

Want to get an opinion from bros out there.

I am a married individual but recently got involved with a Thai girl introduced by friends. She's young and really cute looking and we just hit it off. I have been seeing her regularly for about 6 months now and to be clear, it's not those "need money cause the ox back home is ill" kind of relationship.

I wouldn't say that I love her as I have always made it clear to her that I am married and that when push comes to shove, my family comes first. I have told her that if she finds a decent man/boyfriend, I am happy to break things off for her future.

Recently, I found out that she has been seeing someone else. Whilst I was prepared to break off the relationship if she has a bf, what shocked me was that the other person is a girl. She later confessed that she had been curious and lonely and found the company of the other girl comforting...

I really have no idea how to respond. She has been very apologetic for breaking my trust (I had always emphasized on an open relationship and told her to tell me if there is a 3rd party as I am aware that my regular absence from Bangkok may be an issue) and told me several times that she will break off with her female partner.

If it was a male 3rd party, I guess things would have been really straight forward for me...but anyone has similar experiences? Any advice/comments?

Thanks....

sup3rm2n · #2 21-08-2012, 01:55 PM

From what you wrote, the relationship between you and her seems only transactional, which means that when you are horny or lonely you look for you. If you are not willing to further your relationship beyond the current companionship status, well I guess you can just let her go if she wish to go further it with her female friend.

You shouldnt feel cheated or anything, what you might be feeling is the same as losing a good friend because he or she is getting married or a favourite shop of us closing down, that's all.

scentbug · #3 21-08-2012, 02:05 PM

I feel that she don't owe you any reason since there's nothing more you can offer beyond occasional companionship. Be happy that she's happy be it with another woman or man.

sean69 · #4 21-08-2012, 02:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blim

Dear bros,

Want to get an opinion from bros out there.

Recently, I found out that she has been seeing someone else. Whilst I was prepared to break off the relationship if she has a bf, what shocked me was that the other person is a girl. She later confessed that she had been curious and lonely and found the company of the other girl comforting...

Any advice/comments?

Thanks....

my advice for you is to ask for a 3-some with her gf ...

MoLiHuaCha · #5 21-08-2012, 02:35 PM

No venture no gain bro, go ask for all you know you may kenna jackpot;

Blim · #6 21-08-2012, 03:54 PM

Well...the thing is she's apologetic about it and is willing to break off with her lesbian friend and tells me she really wants me etc and that it was just out of curiosity...etc

I admit I do have feelings for her and she is really attractive..i really don't know how to proceed - to break up? Or to carry on as if nothing had happened....

To other bros, don't really want to engage in 3 some activities lah..the lesbian partner is like a tomboy, very different from what we see on porn...hahahah.

deuter · #7 21-08-2012, 04:01 PM

very simple equation.....

like u said... u r married ald... n no matter wat... u wld always be wif ur family...

u see ur answer there now?

Weiwei88 · #8 21-08-2012, 04:55 PM

My thought : Ask her partner to join in the fun.

LiKiSi · #9 21-08-2012, 04:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by deuter

very simple equation.....

like u said... u r married ald... n no matter wat... u wld always be wif ur family...

u see ur answer there now?

What bro deuter said is totally correct and true. TS learn to differentiate the difference between family and play, once you allow play to cross the line of family, this where where all the headaches and heartaches starts

Bebeque · #10 21-08-2012, 05:01 PM

At the risk of being sounding impolite, even if you speak and write Khun Thai very well, you are still not Khun Thai. You are farang.

There are many instances where a Singaporean married another non Singaporean (Thai, Korean, Japanese, etc) for many years but found out later their spouse has been having a leg with another (or more) same nationality/race person by the side. Loneliness itself is a simple excuse for such behaviour. More importantly, a lot of traditions, cultural nuances and feelings are easier shared with someone who comes from same nationality/ race rather than with the foreign spouse. Moreover, she is living right in the midst of her 'people' and it would not be difficult to find another to share experiences. Maybe such is human behaviour to seek out the familiar/same kind rather than with a farang.

Just be glad you found this out now. The situation seems to be one where both parties may not need to have any long term ties (other than emotional ones) and committments with each other. If the situation calls for it, just move on. Time will heal the pains of betrayal.

Cheers