Your Opinion on Sex with a Married Woman or Attached Girl (Dilemma on Morality)

[Hunting]

Hi All Sexual Predators,
I would like to have an open forum on what you all (Guys & Gals) think about such sensitive issues.

Firstly, i must admit that this is an occurrences that happened once too many throughout the years. I am no Hollywood stud nor gigolo in the making. However, i have been around the block quite a bit.

So let me get to the point. If there's a gal or a guy (for ladies) that you like quite a bit but she/he is attached or married and known her/him for a while. You have gone out as casual friends previous (girls' status is known) with no intend but after awhile the friendship gets too comfortable and things got to the morality point. You sleep together once, twice, then more. Similarly, it does also happened in a reverse role where i'm (am a guy) attached and gets drawn (hooked) to another girl while i'm involved.

Now, i know that by the book this is immoral. But i think at times it was meant to happened due to temptation, where the guy/girl relationship is weak or the parties are just sexually more active then what they are getting. Now, I asked myself for those girl(s) that i had affairs with will they cheat even if it's not with me? I believe so (90% of them). I am embarrassed to say i had more then 1 affairs over a long period of time. All different combination of status (me:Single w married, Attached w Single, married w married). OK, I know i'm screwed up.

What i would like to put forward as an open discussion for our learned bros & sis are your views.

I know by default man are always the bad ones but i am sure there are those from the opposite sex who are hunters as well and its no fairytale.

This is a dilemma for me and i know there's this talk about morality and kama that will find its way around.

I am not sure what kind of responds i'm expecting but i do appreciate if our Bros & ladies can share your views.

Many thanks & be well.
Cheers

[PeaceWithin]

Morality... is somewhat over-rated. It all boils down to conscience, which causes the 'dilemma' as mentioned.

We are all adults here. And we do things with eyes wide open knowing fully well the potential risks and consequences. No one can force oneself (nor the other party) to do things that we don't want to do.

I'm no saint either... 2 weeks ago, I rejected a married lady and yet she still writes to me saying miss me, blah... blah... So who's hunting who?

It's like saying... if you don't wear cap, then don't complain about the increased risk of STD when go raw.

If one doesn't want to feel guilt, then don't do it. Period. Simple as that.
If one does it, then be prepared to feel guilty, it's a package deal.

Pardon me... I'm just a bit more pragmatic about this...

[hickeybites]

TS... very loaded thread/question u have posed.... this is my own personal 2c
I'm a married woman & i've yet to prey on anyone but I've experienced being cheated on.

With that said, i don't think there's a fixed or standard set of morals that everyone has to abide by.
In every unique relationship, there's so much going on that the 2 people actually involved themselves may not have the full picture.
Sometimes infidelity happens when one party just doesn't respond anymore, causing the other to seek comfort elsewhere....
Sometimes it could be a case of both parties thinking that they are open enough only to realize that one party may be more hurt than expected when deed is done...
So many "permutations" of factors.

In an ideal alternate reality, of course there wouldn't be infidelity, pain & betrayal.
And before we choose to bed someone else, we would do the proper thing by dealing with the problem & perhaps separating/divorcing first, thereby not cheating.
But then there would also be peace on earth, no wars, no poverty, no starvation...

I'm not being flippant & I do view infidelity seriously... but at the same time I recognize that we mere mortals are flawed & vulnerable.
At the end of the day, we've got to be responsible for ourselves & our own actions.
I may view infidelity as immoral but if my partner chooses to view otherwise, then i've got to be responsible for myself & my own actions - I'll choose to walk away.
And in ur case, if u view infidelity as immoral, what do u want to do about it?

My fav phrase: shit happens (more often than not). Whether as the giver or receiver, I think what is more pertinent is how we handle things.
Do we stir up more shit; run & take cover when shit hits the fan; or pull up our boots & try to clean up the shit as best as we can?
Sorry for my bad taste in analogies (brain jammed) - but u get my drift...

[iamfire]

Instead of giving in into temptation, why not find the reason why you're relationship is getting boring/routine. Once you find out the reason, you will be able to fix/bring the spark back in your relationship.

It all boils down to "dont do unto others what you dont want them to do unto you".

Bonking fl/wl is different from having an affair, as there is no feelings involved.

[bradpitt968]

I feel that there is no point in discussing.

I always tell people ...

"If you feel bad, don't do it."

"If you do it, don't feel bad."

Just follow the rule above ... and you should be ok.

[arsenal_84]

Originally Posted by PeaceWithin

If one doesn't want to feel guilt, then don't do it. Period. Simple as that.
If one does it, then be prepared to feel guilty, it's a package deal.

my shipping friend told me recently,
wanna play then don't be scared.
if scared, then don't play.

i do feel is a package deal even when is with an FL.

[calvintan123]

Its choice.
To do it is a choice.
Dun do it, also a choice

But others are entitled to have a choice on how they feel abt you if you get found out.
Jus dun kpkb after u made ur choice
You already know the consequences before hand.

You made the choice in the 1st place....nobody force you.
At the end of the day we all still have to live with the choices we had made....

make your choices wisely.

[Sexy Under]

Opinions don't matter. Neither is there a right or wrong to it. For a party to stray, the other must be delinquent in one way or the other.

Many of us make the necessary mistakes and then push the blames here and there. Dare do it, dare face it, is all I can say.

Kpkb here or anywhere else is not going to help.

[orneryjoe]

Some things are right; other things are wrong. The difficult thing about morality however is that quite often, it's hard to tell whether something is right or wrong.

This is very different from saying that there is no such thing as right or wrong.

For example, helping a blind man cross the street is a moral act. On the other hand, plunging a dagger into another person without good reason is an immoral act.

Generally speaking, helping others is moral; hurting others is immoral.

However, some of our actions help and hurt at the same time. It may thus be very difficult to decide whether such actions are moral or otherwise. But that does not mean there is no answer.

This problem about morality is explored in Sam Harris's latest book, The Moral Landscape. You could borrow it from the National Library.

[naturegreen]

Originally Posted by bradpitt968

I feel that there is no point in discussing.

I always tell people ...

"If you feel bad, don't do it."

"If you do it, don't feel bad."

Just follow the rule above ... and you should be ok.

Totally agree. What's more it takes 2 hands to clap.

[digby]

Was in this rs with a pub waitress. I was very honest to her from the beginning saying i'm already attached. But she still fall in love with me. Sleep together. One she just blew off when she got drunk and called my girl friend. Everything was in a mess. My life was so screwed up i cannot believe i'm still alive.

It no karma for such thing to happen. Nothing is a secret and the more dircreet you are, the more trouble you will get into.

Btw, im still together with my gf because she does not know i slept with thie waitress so be wise and remember there is a saying "its a beautiful lie"

[HayHot]

Originally Posted by hickeybites

My fav phrase: shit happens (more often than not). Whether as the giver or receiver, I think what is more pertinent is how we handle things.
Do we stir up more shit; run & take cover when shit hits the fan; or pull up our boots & try to clean up the shit as best as we can?
Sorry for my bad taste in analogies (brain jammed) - but u get my drift...

I guess Life is full of Shit. You never know what shit you are going to get.

[kiasuking]

LIFE IS SHORT
Don't waste it. Do what you want. Less regrets after. For people who think of consequences too much, there will be too many ifs.. By the time you consider all the ifs, your life is over. Like what Nike says "Just Do it"!

[Frankiestine]

If you look at it from the Moral point of view then naturally its wrong but throw in the letter T in between the word Moral, then naturally we are only Mortals.

[yang punk]

Originally Posted by kiasuking

LIFE IS SHORT[/B][/SIZE]

On the contrary...LIFE IS TOO LONG! We've got too much free time on our hands to do all the things we should not be doing!