Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

[SBMEDSUP]

Thanks for sharing nice jokes.

[ITreport]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

One mourner leaned over and quietly asked her friend: "Do you think he means her first, second or third husband".?

The friend replied: "I think he meant her legs"..!


😂😂😂😂😂😂

Hahahaha very funny one. Thanks bro

[etsys]

Originally Posted by signo

....

😂😂 One tablespoon

[dyelook]

laughter bumps...

[G20damnit]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

A young man excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in love and is going to get married.

He says, "Just for fun, Ma, I'm going to bring over three women and you try and guess which one I'm going to marry."

The mother agrees and the next day he brings three beautiful women into the house and sits them down on the couch and they chat for a while.

He then says, "Ok, Ma. Guess which one I'm going to marry."

She immediately replies, "The one in the middle."

He was surprised that his mother was so easily able to guess the correct woman. He asked, "How did you know !"

The mother replies, "I don't like her !"

😂😂😂

That's the beginning of WW3

[Hurricane88]

*All Fused Bulbs are the Same!*

A senior executive retired and shifted from his palatial official quarters to the housing society, where he owned a flat.

He considered himself big and never talked to anyone.

Even while walking in the society park every evening, he ignored others, looking at them with contempt.

One day, it somehow transpired that an elderly person sitting beside him started a conversation, and they continued to meet.

Every conversation was mostly a monologue with the retired executive harping on his pet topic,

“Nobody can imagine the big post and high position I held before retirement;

I came here due to compulsions”; and so on, and the other elderly person used to listen to him quietly.

After many days, when the retired executive was inquisitive about others, the elderly listener opened his mouth and said,

“After retirement, we are all like fused bulbs.

It does not matter what a bulb’s wattage was, how much light or glitter it gave, after it gets fused.”

He continued, “I have been living in this society for the last 5 years and have not told anyone that I was a Member of the Parliament for two terms.

On your right, over there is Vermaji, who retired as General Manager in Indian Railways.

Over there is Singh Saheb, who was a Major General in the Army.

That person sitting on the bench in spotless white dress is Mehraji, who was the chief of ISRO before retirement.

He hasn’t revealed it to anyone, not even to me, but I know."

“All fused bulbs are now the same – whatever its wattage was – 0, 10, 40, 60, 100 watts – it doesn’t matter now.

Neither does it matter what type of bulb it was before it got fused – LED, CFL, Halogen, Incandescent, fluorescent, or decorative.

And that, my friend, applies to you too.

The day you understand this, you will find peace and tranquillity even in this housing society.”

"The rising sun as well as the setting sun are both beautiful and adorable.

But, in reality, the rising sun gets more importance and adoration, and is even worshipped , whereas the setting sun is not given the same reverence.

It is better to understand this sooner than later”.

Our current designation, title and power are not permanent.

Keeping lot of emotions with these things only complicate our life when we lose this one day.

Remember that when the Chess game is over, the king and the pawn go back in the same box.

_*Enjoy what you have today . Have a fabulous time ahead ...*_

[Hurricane88]

*(Time Machine… 50 years’ time)*
Hilarious 😁😁😁😁😁

_US President Joe Biden and the Canadian PM Justin Trudeau are shown a time machine which can see 50 yrs into the future. They both decide to test it by asking a question._

*Biden*: _What will the USA be like in 50 years?_

The machine gives a printout which reads: The country is in good hands under the new President, José Fernandez.... crime is non-existent, there is no conflict, the economy is healthy. Vice President Jin Tao has declared Chinese language mandatory in all USA schools. There are no worries._

*Canadian PM* : _What will Canada be like in 50 years’ time? The machine gives a printout. The PM just stares at it._

*Biden*: _Tell us what it says?_

*Canadian PM*: _I can't! It's all written in Punjabi !!_

😃😃😉👳🏻👳🏻😜🤑💃💃💃

[ah rat]

__________________

[Hurricane88]

A GREAT JOKE TO SHARE AND SURE TO MAKE YOU LAUGH 😂


A guy is browsing in a pet shop, and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch.

It doesn't have any feet or legs.

The guy says aloud, 'Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this parrot.?'

The parrot says, 'I was born this way.

I'm a defective parrot.'


'Holy crap,' the guy replies.

'You actually understood and answered me?'

'I got every word,' says the parrot.

'I happen to be a highly intelligent, and a thoroughly educated bird'

'Oh yeah?' the guy asks.


'Then answer this, how do you hang onto your perch, without any feet.?'

'Well,' the parrot says, 'this is very embarrassing, but since you asked,

I wrap my willie around this wooden bar, like a little hook.

You can't see it, because of my feathers.'

'Wow,' says the guy.

'You really can understand, and can speak English, can't you.?'

'Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse with

reasonable competence on almost any topic, politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy.

I'm especially good at ornithology.
You really ought to buy me, I'd be a great companion.'

The guy looks at the $100.00 price tag

'Sorry, but I just can't afford that.'


'Pssssssst,' says the parrot, 'I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody wants me,

cause I don't have any feet.

You can probably get me for $50, just make the guy an offer.!'

The guy offers $50, and walks out with the parrot.


Weeks go by.

The parrot is sensational.

He has a great sense of humor, he's interesting, he's a great pal,

he understands everything, he sympathizes, and he's insightful.

The guy is delighted.


One day the guy comes home from work, and the parrot goes,

'Psssssssssssst,' and motions him over with one wing.

'I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife, and the UPS man.'


'What are you talking about,?' asks the guy.

'When the UPS man delivered a package today, your wife greeted

him at the door, in a sheer black nightie.'

'WHAT???' the guy asks incredulously.


'THEN what happened?'

'Well, then the UPS man came into the house, and lifted up her nightie,

and began petting her all over,' reported the parrot.

'NO!' he exclaims, 'and she let him.?'

'Yes.


Then he continued taking off the nightie, got down on his knees,

and began to kiss her all over.'


Then the frantic guy demands, 'THEN WHAT HAPPENED.?'


DUNNO?!? I got an erection, and fell off my perch.!'

[dyelook]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

'THEN what happened?'

'DUNNO?!? I got an erection, and fell off my perch.!'

kns... laughter bumps...

[lauro]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

Then the frantic guy demands, 'THEN WHAT HAPPENED.?'


DUNNO?!? I got an erection, and fell off my perch.!'

Wahahahaa I nearly fell off my fucking chair

[SBMEDSUP]

Yes many good funny jokes. Thanks.

[ah rat]

____________

[SBMEDSUP]

Pls share more nice jokes.

[Hurricane88]

For laugh - How Olympics got it’s name 👇

The queen of Sardinia, named Gedophamee (pronounced Get-off-me), was attending a great but as yet unnamed athletic festival 2,500 years ago in Greece.

In those days, believe me, the athletes performed naked.

To prevent unwanted arousal while competing, the men imbibed freely on a drink containing salt petre before and throughout all of the events.

At the opening ceremonial parade, Gedophamee observed the first wave of naked magnificent males marching toward her and she exclaimed "Oh! limp pricks!" (those days the Greek did speak English &#129313.

Over the next two and a half millennia that morphed into *"Olympics"*

Just thought I'd share this profound knowledge, in case you didn't know, how the word Olympics was coined ...😂😜!!!