All you need to know about "Marriage/Divorce" under the SG Law

[Frankiestine]

Originally Posted by Soul_Reaper

Dream on...... child maintenance almost never get reduced but will increase instead in most cases as the child grows and gets involved in more activities & higher education.

yup now i am even unofficially paying extra 300 on top of my monthly maintenance, kid now in poly and expenses goes up...some times she need extra pocket money, i still foot out...

[Ninja_Assassin]

Originally Posted by Frankiestine

yup now i am even unofficially paying extra 300 on top of my monthly maintenance, kid now in poly and expenses goes up...some times she need extra pocket money, i still foot out...

Look on the bright side..... as your kid is in poly now that means she is coming of age and your obligations are coming to an end when she turns 18. Get her to apply for a tertiary loan if she wants to continue to University and you can save on your child maintenance and give the money to her as pocket money instead. It makes a difference when the money goes directly to the child instead of going through the mother's hand.

[happypotato21]

Hey all, just wanted to ask anybody with experience on this.. I have a lady friend who is looking to end her marriage stuff..

So basically got married late 2011, got hdb under sale of balance flat mid 2012.

Currently, theres no separation agreement or anything, but they basically are like housemates, and they don't sleep with each other.

So the question is, how should they go about ending it? I know they cannot sell before mid 2017 due to the 5 years minimum occupation period for hdb, but then I read that if you divorce, you have 1 year to sell the flat? So they can technically divorce in late 2016? And I would assume that's final judgement, so they could technically commence paperwork earlier?

Currently there's no separation or anything, so is it a better idea to just go for divorce under unreasonable behaviour or something? How do they actually define that? What if the lady friend of mine has a bf outside of marriage? And the guy the same? Will claiming adultery affect any kind of settlement?

Or is separation for 3 years a necessity?
The reason for not separating is that they both need a place to stay, and they don't want to move back to their parents.

[seeseekia]

https://www.hdb.gov.sg/fi10/fi10326p...e?OpenDocument

Under the HDB's prevailing policy for divorce (not due to non-consummation of marriage or annulment or break-up of Fiancé / Fiancée relationship), a divorced party who has the custody of the child (including care and control) is allowed to retain the flat subject to the eligibility conditions.

If there are no children from the marriage, the divorced party (flat owner) may retain the flat under the Single Singapore Citizen (SSC) Scheme, provided:
he / she is a Singapore citizen
he / she is at least 35 years old
the matrimonial flat must be a resale flat purchased from the open market without the CPF Housing Grant for Family.

If the matrimonial flat is bought directly from HDB (including resale flats bought with the CPF Housing Grant for Family), the 5-year minimum occupation period (MOP) must be satisfied before the divorced party is allowed to take over the flat under the SSC Scheme.

Alternatively, the divorced party may include another person to retain the flat, subject to the prevailing eligibility criteria and eligibility scheme regardless of the occupation period.

If the divorced owners wish to resell their flat in the open market, they must have completed the MOP for the flat, as at the date of divorce completion. If the divorce is within the MOP and none of the owners is eligible to retain the flat, the owners may have to return the flat to HDB, subject to HDB's approval. The compensation for the return of flat will be determined by HDB.

[Frankiestine]

Originally Posted by Ninja_Assassin

Look on the bright side..... as your kid is in poly now that means she is coming of age and your obligations are coming to an end when she turns 18. Get her to apply for a tertiary loan if she wants to continue to University and you can save on your child maintenance and give the money to her as pocket money instead. It makes a difference when the money goes directly to the child instead of going through the mother's hand.

yeah i do some times wonder whether my daughter is really benefiting from all the extra I am footing out monthly but i leave it to her mom intergrity to do so...in any case i am of the understanding that obligations does not end at 18 and as long as she is still studying right up to uni, still have to pay her monthly maintenance. in any case, some times i do give her pocket money directly such as when she going holiday overseas or need to take driving lessons..

[ilovedoggie]

hi all, a scenario here: i am a PR here , and i married (by ROM) a vietnamese wife in vietnam, and applied for LTVP for her to stay here. and we decided to go for a divorce in Vietnam, will the women charter kick in? will i be liable to pay for her maintenance under the singapore WC and get my assets(acquired before the marriage) shared with her? or she has the right to come singapore to contest for the divorce?

[99546]

Hi.. Bros..

I like to ask that last time my child maintenance is $700 for a salary less than 2k haven deduct CPF. Now i got some difficulties on go through nowadays. I have health problem for past 10 years. Still continue to have medication till now. What do u ( Bros ) think that which will be better?

1. Tell her say got some difficulties on giving so much.. Can reduce it.. If the answer is yes.. everything should be solve.. But i worry is will she in the future sue me for not giving her full amount.. Is it possible that if she agree, can i go courts to make changes with her in black in white?

2. If i find lawyer, Can i go family courts to ask for help? I mean look for family court lawyer. The percentage of reducing will it be high? Or i have to find lawyer myself in a salary less than 2k?

Hope that Bros can let give me some comments.. Thanks
Hope Bros

[purtierist]

Bros,

May i share my situation and please give me some advice as i'm very lost atm..

I'm 26 and my wife is 24, we have a hdb, a daughter 4 and a son 2. My in-laws are rich and staying bungalow. We stayed together.

Recently, i found my wife had been cheating on me with a man for almost a year's affair, broke up and now met a new guy. Confronted her and i moved out of the bungalow (my in-laws place) and staying our BTO HDB.

I can't wait to get divorced but my concern is the kids, my wife suddenly mixed with her friends (mostly single mom/divorcee) then chut pattern get boyfriend.

She expects me to wait for her as she told me she needs to find "Herself" and freedom to do all things, to me it's fking bs and childish. Don't know what got into her but i can't wait to divorce since she's ready to admit to her faults.

So bros and sis, should i be stupid to hold onto this marriage knowing i'll be made a cuckold again or just act blur and stay, i play mine she play hers? If i play tio caught in the end is i tio, now i got evidence of her first, what should i do? really vexed.. sorry!

[Frankiestine]

Originally Posted by purtierist

Bros,

May i share my situation and please give me some advice as i'm very lost atm..

I'm 26 and my wife is 24, we have a hdb, a daughter 4 and a son 2. My in-laws are rich and staying bungalow. We stayed together.

Recently, i found my wife had been cheating on me with a man for almost a year's affair, broke up and now met a new guy. Confronted her and i moved out of the bungalow (my in-laws place) and staying our BTO HDB.

I can't wait to get divorced but my concern is the kids, my wife suddenly mixed with her friends (mostly single mom/divorcee) then chut pattern get boyfriend.

She expects me to wait for her as she told me she needs to find "Herself" and freedom to do all things, to me it's fking bs and childish. Don't know what got into her but i can't wait to divorce since she's ready to admit to her faults.

So bros and sis, should i be stupid to hold onto this marriage knowing i'll be made a cuckold again or just act blur and stay, i play mine she play hers? If i play tio caught in the end is i tio, now i got evidence of her first, what should i do? really vexed.. sorry!

well if you want to divorce her on her adultery grounds than better don't wait too long....understand you can only use this ground no more than 6 months after first discovery..

[Xyberduke]

Originally Posted by purtierist

Bros,

May i share my situation and please give me some advice as i'm very lost atm..

I'm 26 and my wife is 24, we have a hdb, a daughter 4 and a son 2. My in-laws are rich and staying bungalow. We stayed together.

Recently, i found my wife had been cheating on me with a man for almost a year's affair, broke up and now met a new guy. Confronted her and i moved out of the bungalow (my in-laws place) and staying our BTO HDB.

I can't wait to get divorced but my concern is the kids, my wife suddenly mixed with her friends (mostly single mom/divorcee) then chut pattern get boyfriend.

She expects me to wait for her as she told me she needs to find "Herself" and freedom to do all things, to me it's fking bs and childish. Don't know what got into her but i can't wait to divorce since she's ready to admit to her faults.

So bros and sis, should i be stupid to hold onto this marriage knowing i'll be made a cuckold again or just act blur and stay, i play mine she play hers? If i play tio caught in the end is i tio, now i got evidence of her first, what should i do? really vexed.. sorry!

First of all, if your concern is your children, try talk her into a counselling session. Do note that you will have to go through it anyway during your divorce process due to the current laws, but it would be good not to go for counselling because it is part of your divorce proceedings, but rather, voluntarily. There must be a spark in your life that led to the marriage. Hopefully, that sparks have a little glow left in it. Divorce signifies the end of an unhappy marriage but also the start of a incomplete childhood for the children.


Now, if the above fails, you have several means to divorce, (1) Unreasonable behavior. You start the proceedings stating her adultery ways, she admits, and proceed with auxillary (assets, children). If she denies, court fight. (2) Adultery. It is not as simple as you claim and she admits. In court, it is about proof. You will need to engage a PI, the PI will settle everything for you. (3) Go for separation back-dated to the date you moved out.


Think of your children, Think hard if your marriage can still be savaged. Countless married men and women sleep around and have affairs.. Why would they do that and risk being shamed and ending up the defendant in divorces? Because they still have love (even a little tiny bit) and responsibility left in their marriage that they could not let go. Some just need someone to give them one tight slap to wake up.

Try your best to savage before proceeding to divorce. At least then, you will be able to answer to your children when they grow up with your head held high.

[Xyberduke]

Originally Posted by 99546

Hi.. Bros..

I like to ask that last time my child maintenance is $700 for a salary less than 2k haven deduct CPF. Now i got some difficulties on go through nowadays. I have health problem for past 10 years. Still continue to have medication till now. What do u ( Bros ) think that which will be better?

1. Tell her say got some difficulties on giving so much.. Can reduce it.. If the answer is yes.. everything should be solve.. But i worry is will she in the future sue me for not giving her full amount.. Is it possible that if she agree, can i go courts to make changes with her in black in white?

2. If i find lawyer, Can i go family courts to ask for help? I mean look for family court lawyer. The percentage of reducing will it be high? Or i have to find lawyer myself in a salary less than 2k?

Hope that Bros can let give me some comments.. Thanks
Hope Bros

Gosh, the saddest thing is that most of our lawyers have this standard template that computes child maintenance, normally targeted at 50% of household income per child, then play gracious by lowering this amount through negotiation. I was at the receiving end too. For all brothers/sisters who encounter this (I included sisters as the law is going to change), do play bluff and off to open a joint account for both parents to put in the same amount of money every month for child maintenance. Or agree to the amount provided both pay a ratio based on their salary. Unused amount gets accumulated in the account for future use. All unused amount goes into a monthly allowance of XXX amount for the child upon her graduation from university or highest educational institute for a year. Remainder will be returned in the same ratio to the parents.

Yes, you need a lawyer to lower the amount. If you are facing financial difficulties like what you have just described, provide the details to the pro bono by law society Singapore and you will get legal aid.


The easier way is to talk to your ex-spouse first and explain. Going direct through the legal process will agitate the other party and only make things worst before it gets better eventually.

[purtierist]

Originally Posted by Xyberduke

First of all, if your concern is your children, try talk her into a counselling session. Do note that you will have to go through it anyway during your divorce process due to the current laws, but it would be good not to go for counselling because it is part of your divorce proceedings, but rather, voluntarily. There must be a spark in your life that led to the marriage. Hopefully, that sparks have a little glow left in it. Divorce signifies the end of an unhappy marriage but also the start of a incomplete childhood for the children.


Now, if the above fails, you have several means to divorce, (1) Unreasonable behavior. You start the proceedings stating her adultery ways, she admits, and proceed with auxillary (assets, children). If she denies, court fight. (2) Adultery. It is not as simple as you claim and she admits. In court, it is about proof. You will need to engage a PI, the PI will settle everything for you. (3) Go for separation back-dated to the date you moved out.


Think of your children, Think hard if your marriage can still be savaged. Countless married men and women sleep around and have affairs.. Why would they do that and risk being shamed and ending up the defendant in divorces? Because they still have love (even a little tiny bit) and responsibility left in their marriage that they could not let go. Some just need someone to give them one tight slap to wake up.

Try your best to savage before proceeding to divorce. At least then, you will be able to answer to your children when they grow up with your head held high.

Thank you for your time and clear advice bro, i truly appreciate it very much!

Now we opt to go out on weekends and see how it goes, even though i know she is ongoing with this guy. She even told me about their plan, i couldn't believe it.. like remarrying etc. seriously wtf.

I'll decide within the next few months, my evidence is like whatsapp chat, pictures and messages only. Perhaps i should hire a PI and keep the evidence in case one day she decides she wants something like (house, kids).

[achu]

Currently I am embarking on a divorce with my wife. Basically we have agreed on the terms and the good thing is no children involved.

She has engaged a lawyer to draft out the documents. Thus I need a lawyer to help me review the document and make sure I don't get sabotage by her.

Would appreciate if any Bros can help to recommend a good lawyer on this. At the end of day, I have no intention of fighting out in the court for the split of asset which is basically my hdb flat and her mantainence. But still need a legal person help vet through the document to make sure I don't get sabotage by her lawyer.

PM me if you have any contacts.

[seeseekia]

Originally Posted by Xyberduke

Gosh, the saddest thing is that most of our lawyers have this standard template that computes child maintenance, normally targeted at 50% of household income per child, then play gracious by lowering this amount through negotiation. I was at the receiving end too. For all brothers/sisters who encounter this (I included sisters as the law is going to change), do play bluff and off to open a joint account for both parents to put in the same amount of money every month for child maintenance. Or agree to the amount provided both pay a ratio based on their salary. Unused amount gets accumulated in the account for future use. All unused amount goes into a monthly allowance of XXX amount for the child upon her graduation from university or highest educational institute for a year. Remainder will be returned in the same ratio to the parents.

Yes, you need a lawyer to lower the amount. If you are facing financial difficulties like what you have just described, provide the details to the pro bono by law society Singapore and you will get legal aid.


The easier way is to talk to your ex-spouse first and explain. Going direct through the legal process will agitate the other party and only make things worst before it gets better eventually.

What law is going to change? care to share? I going into a possible divorce.

[jenoroth]

Hi senior bros, in the case of singapore and women's charter, if the wife is caught cheating with substantial evidence and the husband files for divorce, is the husband still required to pay alimony fees?