A unmistakable feeling of loneliness

[frivolous_ami]

Originally Posted by mortar

This thread greatly describe what i am experiencing now..

im 24 this year, currently working and studying part time, and i have my personal goals too. So you can see my life is packed.

however like what ts and other bros have mentioned, sometimes loneliness just strikes me. Good friends in overseas study, and most of the time i will be staying at home or hitting the gym. I began to worry that i cant find a gf and all the nice/chio girls out there are mostly likely taken at this age liao.

Any bros here can recommend me on how to know more girls? Is visiting more events the only way out? cos i also not much friends, wanna know friends of friends also hard

I'm in my 30s. Always busy with work. Now, typing this reply to distract myself from my work at hand.

Same issues. Good friends are overseas, attached, married or forever busy. But, I also forsee that it will only get worse cos' people find new directions and goals as time passes. Can't do much except try to keep in touch.... thats also quite difficult.

Nice or chio girls are not going to be available. 5 million people on the rock. More men, but number of gals dun seem to have increased exponentially.

Try SDN. It didn't work for me honestly. But, it may work for you. Dunno if decent nice gals appear there.

[Gambit7]

I'm exactly the same situation as u man. I think once we past that 30 mark, our testoterone level somehow drained so drastically. I come from a good background family, everyone love me dearly, and i love them too. But somehow, when i'm alone, i will feel the sense of loneliness. I have a gf, but we can't really share our stuffs together cos our knowledge differs a lot. She's from a not so good family and a lot of ah lian's personalities, whereas, i love to look at new and constructive stuffs that can enrich myself. I'm thinking of breaking her off cos i need a girl who has similar principles and goals. anyway, i dunno how to suggest TS on this matter as we have similar problems.

[Mr_don_juan]

Originally Posted by Woodymah

Bros, recently Im not sure it is because I am approaching mid life crisis and getting panicky that Im approaching 30 - I have been consumed by a growing,gnawing sense of loneliness and a certain darkness in my soul.

I recently been struck by what is known as "YOU NEED A WOMEN" syndrome. I find myself longing for someone to love and to talk too....

I also find myself having wild mood swings from highly ecstatic to downright brooding dark.. Its scary and it is affecting my work.. I cannot seems to concentrate on anything.

It has driven me to find comfort in KTV, HFJ and all.. but the darkness is still unkempt and bleeding me dry as I end up drunk almost everyday.

This is my little cry for help bros... What can I do to put my life in order?

p:s Sorry for ranting here..

Woody

I see a little problem.. you don't need anyone to take control of your life and put it in order whether is it r/s, work or play. You want to find love, y not let nature take it course.. there are emotional needs and that being human.

Come on bro.. you need to twitch your mindset.. everything you do in work, play is only for yourself, just begin by building a better world for yourself.. once your empire is established.. girls will be dying to enter it.. even is just small one, your independence is enough to attract bees to honey..

[postcd]

Originally Posted by Mr_don_juan

I see a little problem.. you don't need anyone to take control of your life and put it in order whether is it r/s, work or play. You want to find love, y not let nature take it course.. there are emotional needs and that being human.

Come on bro.. you need to twitch your mindset.. everything you do in work, play is only for yourself, just begin by building a better world for yourself.. once your empire is established.. girls will be dying to enter it.. even is just small one, your independence is enough to attract bees to honey..

True... Once you got honey... U will have the bees....

[asdfghjkl]

if you 30 kan cheong liao, then those women at 30 how? siao liao ah! quickly get hitched!

[Gaofar]

Originally Posted by asdfghjkl

if you 30 kan cheong liao, then those women at 30 how? siao liao ah! quickly get hitched!

Actually that is true you know.. Especially PRC women..

[badboy123]

Originally Posted by goodpartner

Bro, sounds like you just got to know her. Have you asked her what she work as?
One possibility which will explain ALL the above; she is a RealEstateGirl (aka property agent) lah!

Her FB acount got many friends because of all the agents and mostly guys.
Phone/SMS is because of this trade.
Homely girl who don't chiong, still possible lor.

Now, if she make up the bull stories to make you think she is a goody girl and what not, that could only means she still concern about how you think of her lah; so still a good thing.

well said bro!

[sgjoey]

I suspect that what many bros are suffering from is not so much loneliness but more of something which has been called existential angst. One feels sick of the routine everyday. Life feels meaningless. There is a kind of vague painful feeling in the soul.

Such feelings can be assuaged through various diversions such as visits to KTV, clubs, drinking sessions or even a new love interest. But there is no perfect solution, and after some time, single or married, the dark feelings may return again. Those who are single feel lonely; those who are married feel trapped.

Note that it's true that there is no inherent meaning to life. The best antidote to existential angst is an acceptance of this truth. Also, as one gets older, the feeling does tend to go away. So, hang in there.... it does get better with time.

[Hasa Sas]

Originally Posted by Bdrevel

Simple, get a girlfriend. Then you will not get drunk or bleed dry by the vices you engage in.

Then again, I would enjoy the life you're having.


Beats being married and having kids. Now that is pitiful. No freedom.

many married man will agreed with you

[dantes inferno]

if it's severe enough, you might want to talk to a counsellor or a psychiatrist. if it is depression or some sort of hormonal imbalance, you might not be able to deal with it alone or without professional help. good luck.

[FeeeFeee]

When one is too comfortable, it's also when they are most vulnerable bcos all their defenses are down!

[Ganbuaysua]

Originally Posted by Woodymah

Bros, recently Im not sure it is because I am approaching mid life crisis and getting panicky that Im approaching 30 - I have been consumed by a growing,gnawing sense of loneliness and a certain darkness in my soul.

I recently been struck by what is known as "YOU NEED A WOMEN" syndrome. I find myself longing for someone to love and to talk too....

I also find myself having wild mood swings from highly ecstatic to downright brooding dark.. Its scary and it is affecting my work.. I cannot seems to concentrate on anything.

I am not sure how this feeling came about, but I believe my recent infatuation on a co-worker is the main source of this... I have also cut off my 3 "best buddies" from my life as I had been their dartboard and mockery for the past 18 years. Enough is enough. So here I am without real friends and facing this darkness alone..

It has driven me to find comfort in KTV, HFJ and all.. but the darkness is still unkempt and bleeding me dry as I end up drunk almost everyday.

This is my little cry for help bros... What can I do to put my life in order?

p:s Sorry for ranting here..

Woody

bro.. u need to go and do healthy exercise and you are only in the 30's.. still got many good years... by going to healthy social gathering most probably you might meet someone you like

[ironman73]

Originally Posted by dantes inferno

if it's severe enough, you might want to talk to a counsellor or a psychiatrist. if it is depression or some sort of hormonal imbalance, you might not be able to deal with it alone or without professional help. good luck.

Hi Woody,

No worries, there is always up and downs in life. I believe this is just some low period in life for you. As mention by dantes, if this prolonged, it might turn into depression and thus will need some special attention.

I am 40s as we speak, if you are having 30s mid life crisis, then i should be inside the boxes counting my days....

I have been alone for way too long, getting too used to it now. Losing my communication skills...funny or not, i find myself talking to myself at times..what to eat, where to go....etc. So tell me about mid life crisis...

[imax88]

Originally Posted by sgjoey

Such feelings can be assuaged through various diversions such as visits to KTV, clubs, drinking sessions or even a new love interest. But there is no perfect solution, and after some time, single or married, the dark feelings may return again. Those who are single feel lonely; those who are married feel trapped.

Well said. acceptance and finding a target as objective in life will help. taking a course and looking for new challenges in career will definitely keep you occupied. if you are golfer or bowler, try aiming to break 100 consistently if you havent by now