A unmistakable feeling of loneliness

[Woodymah]

I have never expected so much support from you guys, I even thought I might be zapped when I started this thread... 2 thumbs up to all of you and all your heartfelt advises. It really really warmed my heart to know that I'm got a place to spill my troubles.

A few good points that I will be looking to improve.

- I will definitely try to keep myself positive and busy with my work as much as mentally possible. Had been a moving ball of negative energy this past 3 months.

- 2ndly I know its a co-worker and I KNOW its an infatuation so IT will pass. There are much more girls out there.

1 side question to ask though bros, I never ever had such a strong infatuation or even any crush before. It's rly terrible, I cant seem to communicate with her in the same way as all others, infact I had to totally stop communication on or offline for fear of feeding that infatuation. She must be thinking i'm a really weird guy lol, suddenly gone totally cold.. Anyway the question is - How long will this stupid feeling come to pass?

- 3rdly I will definitely cut down on the visits to KTV, HFJ and stop destroying my own health.

Finally I REALLY REALLY want to give a BIG BIG SHOUT OUT to all you fantastic dudes here who took my rant seriously and I cannot even express the relief and joy I had when reading through the replies that there is actually people who do care about how I feel.

Bless you guys!

Woody

[arsenal_84]

Originally Posted by mrsg

Get out of darkness if ur moral is low. U only cheong when u know wat u are doing.

yup.
when my mood is low, i don't even think about chionging.
is much better to be mentally healthy than sexually healthy, that's why there is this saying, mind over body.
sought out your emotions first before your needs.

[Stimsia]

劲歌 was great for relief of loneliness
Good atmosphere, good catch, good weekend sexcapades

TS no worry there are many bros out there just like you and me

[HCKing]

Originally Posted by Woodymah

Bros, recently Im not sure it is because I am approaching mid life crisis and getting panicky that Im approaching 30 - I have been consumed by a growing,gnawing sense of loneliness and a certain darkness in my soul.

I recently been struck by what is known as "YOU NEED A WOMEN" syndrome. I find myself longing for someone to love and to talk too....

I also find myself having wild mood swings from highly ecstatic to downright brooding dark.. Its scary and it is affecting my work.. I cannot seems to concentrate on anything.

I am not sure how this feeling came about, but I believe my recent infatuation on a co-worker is the main source of this... I have also cut off my 3 "best buddies" from my life as I had been their dartboard and mockery for the past 18 years. Enough is enough. So here I am without real friends and facing this darkness alone..

It has driven me to find comfort in KTV, HFJ and all.. but the darkness is still unkempt and bleeding me dry as I end up drunk almost everyday.

This is my little cry for help bros... What can I do to put my life in order?

p:s Sorry for ranting here..

Woody

spotted danger signs appearing everywhere in this post - " NEED A WOMEN" "FIND LOVE IN KTV/HFJ, "FREQUENT MOOD SWINGS, EASILY DEPRESSED" "NO REAL FRIENDS TO SHARE FEELINGS"

the above signs show that u r most vulnerable to KC or self KC and stand a very high chance to be makan jialat by WL if u continue yr cheonging life.

ever heard of the term "when the pupil is ready the teacher will come"? the same also applies in a relationship -"when the man is ready the woman will come". from what u have posted above, i think u r not yet ready. 1st u gotta learn to pull yrself out from yr blackhole, adopt a positive mindset and start making efforts to improve yrself in whichever aspects u think u need help. ie. if u think u lack social skills, make an effort to learn them. stop going to KTV/HFJ as u will never find any true love there. once u see yr improvements u will grow more confident of yrself and gradually the feeling of low self-worth will disappear.

give yrself a challenge bro. make yrself a man woman will love. to be a king and not a beggar in love.

[samaritan]

do what makes you happy sir

[liverd3]

we same crisis bro.
but, i keep my self busy FU Cking different girls acquired from different culture, place, and more.

after all this... i am all empty inside..... sperm can reproduce... but the voidness i felt is getting even stronger every time i empty my load on girls....

[Alimi]

"make yrself a man woman will love. to be a king and not a beggar in love."

Well said well said !

True love should be sought from girls other than WL and FL, even that does not warrant you would get a genuine love but the chance of getting reciprocate is higher. Never invest your true love feeling in entertainment circles such as KTV or pubs with WL and FL. These are working girls with a mission to make money (as much as possible) from men for a living, money always comes 1st for them, the rest is secondary or insignificant in their profession as WL and FL, though they might sometime express their true feelings with men they really like since they are human being anyway, but hardly with intention to establish a long term relationship, except for extremely rare cases.

As all men know that true love feeling between man and woman required much much more than money alone to establish...in the contrary, it's much more straight forward to please WL and FL which is to simply pamper them with money continuously...and they will follow you and stick on to you for as long as you want them to be...a proven working strategy for most WL and FL goers whom are financially sound. These men can act like King (power) in front of most WL and FL without needing to beg them for their attentions and devotions, but the same may not work on girls from different social circles.

So, if money is a major constraint, then we should not attempt to please WL and FL under any circumstances as the end result is obvious - a total failure.

Love and Money are an analogy to Oil and Water - Both elements can not and should not be mixed together as they will never ever be able to be blended in together no matter what and how...although we need both under most scenario in man and woman relationship development for all types of girls.

Men that are good in controlling his feeling of love and have lots of money (power) would be the King that can control women that they love
and like without needing to beg ...

[goodpartner]

要做快乐的自己，先学会照顾自己，就算某天一个人孤寂。

Let's talk about how we pamper ourselves as guys

Apart from spending on whoremongering, do you guys SPEND on yourself like what women do? Do you notice how for eg. Gals like to buy tonics like bird's nest, collagen, etc. to eat and feel young/pretty (confidence)?

Now that you've earning power, do you have a hobby you like to persue? What about when you're a kid? You can still be a BIG kid now and buy that super duper kool remote control airplane or helicopter.

Do you shop for nice clothings and learn how to dress in style? Go for facial maybe? Maybe you seldom go out and no need to, but it really helps in building self confidence too. They say "Buddha rely on gold robes, Human rely on good cloths!"

Always dream of traveling? Nowadays, budget airline so cheap esp booked in advanced. What about going on short trips and really spend those off days/leaves? Celebrate and reward yourself always. <Adv> Any SYT wanna join me for free trips pls PM me

Or for those who like fishing (real fish ), how about buying a yacht and enjoy the freedom and sense of ownership? Owning one is affordable with a 2nd-hand 20-25 footer possibly with a small room with cooking facility; almost the same ownership cost as an average luxury car. Can bring your gal there and no need to worry about hotels needing 2 ICs Check out the boating asia 2012 in April - http://www.boat-asia.com

Don't give excuses that you're busy and what not, if you got the heart (只要有心做), you'll find time and resources to do it. No money? Ok, that's what you need to find first, at the very minimal - It's ok to be lonely and rich, but not lonely and broke.

Today, one gal told me during a date:
不会照顾自己的人，怎样能照顾别人呢?
I think gals are looking at these traits in men to be assured that he knows how to take care of her too...

So, by pampering yourself, you may just attract girls.... too. Although that's not the objective.

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Originally Posted by goodpartner

how about buying a yacht and enjoy the freedom and sense of ownership? Owning one is affordable with a 2nd-hand 20-25 footer possibly with a small room with cooking facility; almost the same ownership cost as an average luxury car. Can bring your gal there and no need to worry about hotels needing 2 ICs Check out the boating asia 2012 in April - http://www.boat-asia.com

Errr bro, no pun intended hor, but buying a yacht is easy, keeping one is much more expensive to maintain than owning a merc 500 S class. Just FYI from sexperience only

[goodpartner]

Originally Posted by DO_YOU_BJ

Errr bro, no pun intended hor, but buying a yacht is easy, keeping one is much more expensive to maintain than owning a merc 500 S class. Just FYI from sexperience only

Bro, hmm... well things are changing....? Also, my above statement is backed up by the organizer of the boat Asia during a recent radio talk show.

There are all classes of WL from masseuse to HFJ Singer which require different level of maintenance, so I think they are talking about an entry level 20+ footer where docking cost on water is similar to season parking in a CBD area; cost by foot length. Also there is a public harbour without need for club membership. Maybe, let the prospective yacht owners confirm that from the boat exhibition

Singapore is surrounded by water and we've new marina!

[flamenomore]

Never depend anyone or anything for your happiness. Don't ever feel or think that your life will be happier if you have a girlfriend, if you have fantastic sex every night, if you are rich, if you are handsome etc. True, these may make life easier to seek for happiness, but all these have a flip side that may bring more pain than you could ever imagine.

Make peace with yourself. Do things that will make you happy. If you think you'll like to chat with the co-worker today because you feel comfortable with conversation, then do it. If you don't feel like it, then don't. Don't force yourself to do things that you don't feel good with. It'll just bring more resentment.

所谓，心静自然凉。

Hope you'll break through this loneliness! Everyone will definitely feel lonely, so you're not alone in this!

(:

[frivolous_ami]

I guess I am not alone. Been through 1 serious relationship. Kena chopped by at least 3 different gals. Like the other bros, I also hit 30+ liao. A bit sian of going to find. Everytime, its like I am the carrot to get chopped and usually I end being the good guy to get leeched.

Sometimes, I just feel like not doing anything. Why? Do anything also like that. You do more to court the gal, its still like that. I dun really think its worth any trouble. Gals are very fickle minded. You can be blardy faithful and good, but so what. End of the day, up to their moods one. It may not be that the guy is louya, but just that the gal is impossible or difficult.

Went out with this gal a couple of times. I thought quite good. Not bad looking and sounds quite decent. Know importance of family and filial piety. I hinted to her that my old folks are very important, and I owe a duty to them. She acknowledge that. But, I also dunno if she is really honest. Why? cos of the guys she has on her fb friend list. It may mean much, but it somehow speaks to some extent of a person. I know its wrong to judge. When I didn't have, I would think like ts. Now, I have a potential partner, I also dunno how.

When I brought her out, her phone kept having this sms coming in. I dun mind people replying. Now, I really have a gal who seems keen. But, I scared..... after the number of times she has to reply sms and answer phone calls. She doesn't even let me know which block she stays. If so keen about relationship, then why cant divulge block number.... kns, not like I will go hound her. Even I do biz also got my limits....

To ts, beware of what you wish for. If you kena a gal like mine, I tell you lagi also sian. Machiam dun date better. Dun is sian, but have may be more sian. You will really sian one, if kena someone like that. :|

[goodpartner]

Originally Posted by frivolous_ami

When I brought her out, her phone kept having this sms coming in. I dun mind people replying. Now, I really have a gal who seems keen. But, I scared..... after the number of times she has to reply sms and answer phone calls.

Means she still keeping her options very open. OR there is someone in her list which she places more important than you and don't wanna miss his SMS/calls. Go on date should at least switch off or silent the phone mah. Anyway, this is early stage of a r/s so don't give up! The challenge is to become the exclusive one. Try teasing her on those SMS/calls and see how she reply, but sound generous and be cool about it.

The way to tackle this is to have multiple dating partners at the same period yourself. Then you won't put all eggs in one basket and be overly concern about any particular one; you see, she is doing exactly that.

[frivolous_ami]

Have to agree with you. I find many things very unexplainable about the gal. Eg, she doesnt divulge the blk she stays at... come on lor if dun say then wait where. Other case, she claim very little earnings n dun dare anyhow spend. But can afford an iphone n aesthetic surgery n still able to support her family spendings. A bit odd... If really so telok, then still can go club. Stranger still, say she dun like such places. But she still choose to go after friend jio.

Tell me that her she hardly go out, but fb pictures show a different thing. N really a lot of sms n even calls. One pic she upload, she has dozens of likes. May be random friends. But is she really a homely person? 

I own a biz but also not so busy like her. Client do call n sms me. But not so exaggerating like her. I agree with you about sms n phone call. I answer phone calls during dates sometimes specifically for biz reasons. Funny thing is, someone like her keep claiming no suitors but still has a lot of phone call n sms. Surprising. Either i m senile or she think she very smart.

You have a point. She probably has a lot of choices. One pic can lead to many comments from (mostly) guys. I dun think she has a problem with many available eligible men. I may be one of the fools waiting to get makan. 

Within first few dates already expecting me to pick up the tab. Thats not a concern, but it does reflect a lot of dependency on her suitors.... If anyone find this story familiar, beware also.

[goodpartner]

Originally Posted by frivolous_ami

If anyone find this story familiar, beware also.

Bro, sounds like you just got to know her. Have you asked her what she work as?
One possibility which will explain ALL the above; she is a RealEstateGirl (aka property agent) lah!

Her FB acount got many friends because of all the agents and mostly guys.
Phone/SMS is because of this trade.
Homely girl who don't chiong, still possible lor.

Now, if she make up the bull stories to make you think she is a goody girl and what not, that could only means she still concern about how you think of her lah; so still a good thing.