What should you do if your boyfriend can't satisfies your needs?

[freezetheDB]

one word

communication

if you dont communicate, cant blame him completely for not knowing what you want. If you communicated already and he doesnt bother compromising, then maybe time to find someone else

[Frankiestine]

Originally Posted by st.spicy

It may not be a good advice but the last decision still lies with her. Why must we ladies be the one sacrificing our pleasure for their partners? Like TS said, she did hj and bj to her bf, but what did her bf did to her to satisfy her? If this is not called selfish, what is it then? Ladies also have the right to be pleasured. If cant get it from their partner, get it elsewhere.

i understand how you feel sis, same like you i have a dead fish for a wife....not that i am unwilling to please her in bed but just don't have the opportunity to do it at all...

[dgsk]

What is interesting is that sis TS did not mention who is the one who is insisting on the abstinence. Her wording suggests that her bf is not reciprocating, that's all.

I had a few before, eons ago, where they insist on no sex and will just satisfy me in other ways. They also tense up when I try to touch them intimately during those moments when they try to HJ etc. No choice, must respect their wishes and don't spoil the moment. Then they complain that I am so selfish to their friends. Then when they want it some time later, I am expected to know instantly without their prompting.

Sis TS, if you set the rule at the start of your relationship and did not hint at any relaxation of those rules now. Please inform your bf of it.

A simple way would be touching yourself as you satisfy him and vocalise your personal pleasuring. I am sure he'll get the hint.

If it's as what everyone else thinks, then do follow the abundance of advice above.

May your wishes come true this X'mas. Cheers!

[MeiMei5151]

Originally Posted by Ladyvander

Had been together with current bf for almost 3 years. Had never had sex but we had already gone into heavy petting.

Now, the problem is this. I had never really felt like I am satisfied. Hardly ever turned on.


Now I keep having worries about not being sexually compatible. I know it's a serious problem esp in a marriage.


What do you guys suggest I should do?

Dear Sis TS, trust me, sexual compatibility is an important aspect of marriage. In my time, I naively believe in upholding non-premarital sex and now I am paying the price for it. There are some relationships where you seemed so compatible and get along well on everything like buddies BUT there is no lust and excitement in it.

I would suggest that no matter how long your relationship has been together, it is better (for both parties) to end it if you find that you are not sexually compatible or the lust factor is missing. You won't know this for sure unless you consummate your relationship (not marriage, as by then it is too late). It would save you a lot of miseries and regrets later on. Don't cling on to a lustless relationship just because of the time already invested in it or dismiss it as not important.

Finally, do experience orgasms and good sex before you decide to settle into marriage. At least by then, you know what you are going in for and live life without any regrets.

Above advice from someone who lived to regret from using just big head and no small head before plunging into marriage.

[Jinkiat]

I think it is not normal for a guy who has a gf for almost 3 years but never had sex

[ry.akina72]

hi,
This time and age without sex before marriage is stone age...imagine is now he cannot satisfy you, than when get married you than want to tou chia ma? better to try other bros first with no string attach then see if you can live FOREVER with your boyfriend....

[Nottiguy]

Hi lady,
Just be truthful to your bf and have a discussion with him on it.
If things are not fruitful, just move on. It will be worse if you only regrets after marriage.

Nguy

[powerworddie]

Ask and you'll receive,
Seek and you'll find,
Knock and the door will be open to you.

[geckoSG]

If you cannot get turn on by him, dun get married with him. Your marriage will
suffer. You are still young. Go enjoy life first before stepping into marriage.
After marriage, you might not be able to do it.

Have more experience first. I didn't and had to do so after marriage. Yes,
guilt is there, but it makes me treat my wifey much much better and I do
get my satisfaction with my lovers and FBs.

Woman always love bad boys, cos we know how to perform in bed and
bring out their wild side.

PM me if keen to experience.

[Ladyvander]

Thanks everyone for the replies and advice. Really appreciate it.

Some facts to answer some questions I see:-

1. Nope my bf is not a priest, not gay and doesn't have erectile dysfunction. Haha. He is average looking, pretty good build but not those kind with six packs la. But yes, probably not very romantic, doesn't dirty talk well.

2. I think I am pretty average looking. Don't have the best figure / looks but do notice guys looking at me, coming up to chat with me to get my number (not just in clubs), get compliments from random strangers that I look good.

3. Unbelievable why no sex even after 3 years? For myself, it's because I want to remain a virgin till I am married. It's personal. There are people who are very surprised but not my closer friends. I have a few friends whom they had been together for 5 to 6 years but no sex in their relationship, only heavy petting but they seem to be very satisfied just through heavy petting.

For him, it's not an issue of his virginity. He just wanted to play safe. We started going out when we were just students and he was about to be enlisted. He knows that if I were to get pregnant then, we will be in big trouble since we won't have the financial ability to start a family.

I must say he is really responsible and I appreciate him for that. Now that both of us are working and he don't mind doing it, but I am the one who doesn't want to give it. He doesn't really know about this though. Didn't really tell him that I don't want to loose my virginity yet as he had never tried to really go all the way - if you know what I mean.

And we are each other's first partner whom we had gone into physical intimacy.

***

Every time when I feel like I don't seem to be fully satisfied, immediate thoughts of fulfilling it by hooking up with another guy will come to my mind. But once I sleep over it and comes the next day, I will feel very guilty and couldn't imagine I would actually bear such thoughts.

I don't want to make such a mistake.

Also it just doesn't seem right to be moving on to someone else when everything else seems to be working well in our relationship. We had already talked about marriage - but of cos we are not making concrete plans since we are still young and starting out in our careers.

I always ask myself - What if he's not the one for me? Is it possible that I am that 'lucky', my first bf becomes my husband - the one I am supposed to be with forever? Is sexual life really so important in marriage? Can a couple improve their sexual life to totally fulfill each other in that aspect?

[VOLTZ91]

Originally Posted by Nottiguy

Hi lady,
Just be truthful to your bf and have a discussion with him on it.
If things are not fruitful, just move on. It will be worse if you only regrets after marriage.

Nguy

I fully agree with Nottiguy's analysis. Its better to be upfront and work it out for the better than get into a marriage that may frustrate and not even work.

Voltz91

[love86]

i date my gf (current wife) for nearly 5years le.we rom on this yr nov. we haven had any sex yet cos we haven host our chinese wedding dinner yet. so we decide we will not have any sex until we host our chinese wedding dinner.

i think any problem can be solve when u talk to your partner.

[Alf1977]

Originally Posted by Ladyvander

3. Unbelievable why no sex even after 3 years? For myself, it's because I want to remain a virgin till I am married. It's personal. There are people who are very surprised but not my closer friends. I have a few friends whom they had been together for 5 to 6 years but no sex in their relationship, only heavy petting but they seem to be very satisfied just through heavy petting.

I must say he is really responsible and I appreciate him for that. Now that both of us are working and he don't mind doing it, but I am the one who doesn't want to give it. He doesn't really know about this though. Didn't really tell him that I don't want to loose my virginity yet as he had never tried to really go all the way - if you know what I mean.

***

Also it just doesn't seem right to be moving on to someone else when everything else seems to be working well in our relationship. We had already talked about marriage - but of cos we are not making concrete plans since we are still young and starting out in our careers.

I always ask myself - What if he's not the one for me? Is it possible that I am
that 'lucky', my first bf becomes my husband - the one I am supposed to be with forever? Is sexual life really so important in marriage? Can a couple improve their sexual life to totally fulfill each other in that aspect?

Ger, I read through your reasons n was even confused why you started this thread in the first place..

You said you don't want to give to your bf, yet complaint that your bf cannot satisfy your needs?? If you never give him the chance, how you know he can't satisfy you???

[Krazzie]

Think she has the "never try so you never know if he can perform after marriage" problem... and since she don't wanna try and prove it... she is just going circles.

You are just backing yourself into a corner sis, just stop thinking about it and you will be fine. If you don't want to try it out before marriage then you should not blame him if he cannot perform after marriage.

Anyway being a virgin does not mean he cannot satisfy you when the time comes, it is just that you need to take the risk and hope he can perform.

BTW sex is very important in a marriage, don't let other people say otherwise because I have seen what it does to some couples. Not pleasant at all

[kiwibunny]

Hi dear,

I read everything and appreciate your love to your B/F. I feel what you are doing is correct still like to hang on to him. Well, have a very open chat with him explaining your feelings to him. Tell your B/F that only you can discuss this problem with him only as you need him in life always and forever.

Please do take him to a very quite place with some soft romantic music playing in the air and talk with him openly.

I hope and pray that it will work for you dear.