Ever fall in love with a massage girl

[DaKnight]

Originally Posted by need_it

Wow. Must be quite a journey. Are you bringing her kid over to SG too?

I will like to bring her son over but he is currently in PRC Sec 1. We will like him to come over first during his winter vacation at the end of the year to see whether he can acclimatise to the environment here in Singapore before we decide to bring him over permanently. If he prefers the familiarity in China, I guess we will have to respect his decision

[KangTuo]

Originally Posted by DaKnight

For my case, I'm marrying one soon with a kid in China

a positive outcome out of so many failed story posted. Wish you the best and everlasting.
I believe it is not easy journey to have score an ML heart and feelings. You know her best

[DaKnight]

Originally Posted by KangTuo

a positive outcome out of so many failed story posted. Wish you the best and everlasting.
I believe it is not easy journey to have score an ML heart and feelings. You know her best

Gotta admit it was really tough in the beginning. When we were first exploring the prospect of being together, she openly requested me to bring her to Shoppes @ MBS to check out luxury bags and perfumes

To be frank, I was damn shocked and pissed as I was wondering she would be no different from the other MLs since they were materialistic and gold digging... until she made the comment that she would rely on building up her savings to buy it, even though she did express that women in China would also be pampered by their boyfriends with luxury goods

[Wee0502]

Originally Posted by DaKnight

Gotta admit it was really tough in the beginning. When we were first exploring the prospect of being together, she openly requested me to bring her to Shoppes @ MBS to check out luxury bags and perfumes

To be frank, I was damn shocked and pissed as I was wondering she would be no different from the other MLs since they were materialistic and gold digging... until she made the comment that she would rely on building up her savings to buy it, even though she did express that women in China would also be pampered by their boyfriends with luxury goods

Don’t fall for her trap. Pampered by their bf? Most of them have experience cheated financially by their bf before.

[Xgenre]

Originally Posted by DaKnight

Aim for the ones working in clean joints.

For my case, I'm marrying one soon with a kid in China

So does she work in a clean joint?

I think many of us will be caught between wishing you well and listing all the potential issues (because we care for you). You are an adult so I guess you have thought about it carefully. How old are you?

[sladang]

Originally Posted by DaKnight

For my case, I'm marrying one soon with a kid in China

WaSai, marry the mother get a free kid ..

Very worth it la, buy one get one free, tio bo? ..

Of coz in sbf we can say anything we like la, marry or not marry, clean or not clean, kid or no kid, who knows? ..

[DaKnight]

Originally Posted by Xgenre

So does she work in a clean joint?

I think many of us will be caught between wishing you well and listing all the potential issues (because we care for you). You are an adult so I guess you have thought about it carefully. How old are you?

I hear u bro. Apparently yes, but as we all know, even an apparently clean joint may still have the possibility of minimal special like HJ

I have been able to avoid any pitfalls such as buying luxury goods this far when she insists. Have told her that it will be my own call on as and when I decide to give her one as a surprise during special occasions, and not when she feels like having one and asking me for it

Can she is used to being quite extravagant in her spending in the past and I'm gradually getting her to learn how to manage her finances

I have also advised her that if she still has this habit of extravagant and overspending, I will let her be the one to save her own money to finance and purchase her stuff LOL

[Xgenre]

Please do your financial budgeting. Since this thread is also meant to share info, please visit this website. It will give you a monthly estimate of the fees in MOE secondary school. Almost $2k per month for PRC students. https://www.moe.gov.sg/financial-matters/fees

As for falling in love with PRC, there is this interesting trend when girls make tiktok videos of themselves looking for a man in Singapore. Instead of FB/GF etc, they just call it partner. Many ladies are ML. The arrangement lasts till one party need to return to China. Go search 搭伙 新加坡 in tiktok. Got space between 搭伙 and 新加坡 ah. Or look for 搭房. Some PRC rent a master room with queen size bed and is now looking for someone to share the room/rent. Sibeh interesting

[DaKnight]

Originally Posted by Xgenre

Please do your financial budgeting. Since this thread is also meant to share info, please visit this website. It will give you a monthly estimate of the fees in MOE secondary school. Almost $2k per month for PRC students. https://www.moe.gov.sg/financial-matters/fees

As for falling in love with PRC, there is this interesting trend when girls make tiktok videos of themselves looking for a man in Singapore. Instead of FB/GF etc, they just call it partner. Many ladies are ML. The arrangement lasts till one party need to return to China. Go search 搭伙 新加坡 in tiktok. Got space between 搭伙 and 新加坡 ah. Or look for 搭房. Some PRC rent a master room with queen size bed and is now looking for someone to share the room/rent. Sibeh interesting

Thanks for the link. Yea I'm aware of the fees for foreign students studying in secondary and JC. To be frank, it's considered pretty reasonable already compared to studying in International Schools, which was my initial intention when I wanted to bring her son over. In order to study in a local school, he will need to clear his AEIS in Math and English and it can be quite a hassle

I have also heard about this trend where they just wanna find a 志同道合 person to share a space and/or life. My spouse to be will just want to settle down instead. As long as I manage her peeves, materialism and shortcomings well without being too overbearing, manipulative or controlling... I reckon things should proceed relatively well

[mrfool]

Originally Posted by DaKnight

Thanks for the link. Yea I'm aware of the fees for foreign students studying in secondary and JC. To be frank, it's considered pretty reasonable already compared to studying in International Schools, which was my initial intention when I wanted to bring her son over. In order to study in a local school, he will need to clear his AEIS in Math and English and it can be quite a hassle

I have also heard about this trend where they just wanna find a 志同道合 person to share a space and/or life. My spouse to be will just want to settle down instead. As long as I manage her peeves, materialism and shortcomings well without being too overbearing, manipulative or controlling... I reckon things should proceed relatively well

It's good to see a happy ending here. Just an advice, a tiger never loses its stripes. You must willing to accept what comes forth.

[DaKnight]

Originally Posted by mrfool

It's good to see a happy ending here. Just an advice, a tiger never loses its stripes. You must willing to accept what comes forth.

Yea man, keeping my fingers crossed and hoping for the best while preparing for the worst. She was very upfront with me that she unknowingly became a mistress and kept woman in China where the guy would give her a five figure sum in CNY on a monthly basis but he could never commit to a marriage

Stated to her she would never get that kind of sum from me even if I have the capability to do so LOL

We do talk about some conditions and prenuptial agreements even though they are not concrete and in writing, but I have means to enforce it. For instance, if she insists on continuing to be a ML, the mobile number she uses for PayLah/Paynow will be tagged to our joint savings account. That way, I will be able to monitor whether she is earning extra from HJ, BJ etc since most customers use Epayment nowadays. Even if she does, at least I will benefit and have access to all these additional income and funds from her

Not gonna spoil her with gifts unless it's on special occasions like birthdays, Christmas, Valentine's etc... otherwise, save her own money and get her own since most PRC women will always tell us that they don't want to rely on men and they want to be financially independent to make their own keeps. The only thing she will get from me is my tender loving care as well as basic necessities like money for food, groceries, etc

I will reject request for luxury products unless I took the initiative to give one to her as a gift. We also have a common consensus to buy only gold (yellow gold) jewellery. In fact, we made quite a lot since gold price has risen significantly. We got it at 200+ to 300 CNY back then and we have sold some of our gold jewellery already

[need_it]

Originally Posted by DaKnight

Yea man, keeping my fingers crossed and hoping for the best while preparing for the worst. She was very upfront with me that she unknowingly became a mistress and kept woman in China where the guy would give her a five figure sum in CNY on a monthly basis but he could never commit to a marriage

Stated to her she would never get that kind of sum from me even if I have the capability to do so LOL

We do talk about some conditions and prenuptial agreements even though they are not concrete and in writing, but I have means to enforce it. For instance, if she insists on continuing to be a ML, the mobile number she uses for PayLah/Paynow will be tagged to our joint savings account. That way, I will be able to monitor whether she is earning extra from HJ, BJ etc since most customers use Epayment nowadays. Even if she does, at least I will benefit and have access to all these additional income and funds from her

Not gonna spoil her with gifts unless it's on special occasions like birthdays, Christmas, Valentine's etc... otherwise, save her own money and get her own since most PRC women will always tell us that they don't want to rely on men and they want to be financially independent to make their own keeps. The only thing she will get from me is my tender loving care as well as basic necessities like money for food, groceries, etc

I will reject request for luxury products unless I took the initiative to give one to her as a gift. We also have a common consensus to buy only gold (yellow gold) jewellery. In fact, we made quite a lot since gold price has risen significantly. We got it at 200+ to 300 CNY back then and we have sold some of our gold jewellery already

You don’t have plans to ask her to transition to a job that is less contentious? Practically speaking, is she not going to have to firstly apply for LTVP? Will ICA grant her that and allow her to work in a massage establishment?

[DaKnight]

Originally Posted by need_it

You don’t have plans to ask her to transition to a job that is less contentious? Practically speaking, is she not going to have to firstly apply for LTVP? Will ICA grant her that and allow her to work in a massage establishment?

She is a S Pass holder. Unless she stops working, I will then have to apply for LTVP for her

Regarding the transition to another occupation from her current ML one, she was dead against it in the beginning. Her educational qualifications are not high in China and she has never worked in a white collar job. Mainly rank and file jobs and ran a small retail business or two back then

Took a long time to gradually convince her to consider the prospect in the future. I reckon her main concerns in the beginning would be unfamiliarity with something new, unwillingness to take up a new challenge and start all over again, as well as a drop in income even when she manages to transit to another career

I cannot really hold it against her for wanting to be financially independent and less dependent on a man, which I feet it's not a bad thing since I will not have to be so responsible for her expenses and finances

Have told her straight that her potential wants in her hometown will not be my concerns, such as buying a new car, getting new furniture... unless it's a need and I will then be good to co-share the expenditure

She considered the prospect of retiring in China even though it would never be an issue for us to retire here in SG. I shared with her that I would play by ear and explore that when the time comes

[KangTuo]

Originally Posted by DaKnight

if she insists on continuing to be a ML,

Originally Posted by DaKnight

She is a S Pass holder. Unless she stops working, I will then have to apply for LTVP for her

Regarding the transition to another occupation from her current ML one, she was dead against it in the beginning.

As what the other bro suggest, there should be plan to stop being ML.
With little education, if she can take the hard work, she can work in other service or F&B industrial yet be financially independent. May not be equal to working as ML, so must be supported by you in some ways. Its already tough in the beginning for you. Bet the next journey will be even tougher mentally if you allow her to continue as ML.

My Viet wife also uneducated. But she is now able to earn on par with me with her hard work in F&B.

[Xgenre]

Prenuptial is not really recognised in SG. If you have way to enforce it, share share for us to learn? I would consider setting up a trust to shield the assets from any divorce/alimony before the marriage. Won't legally adopt her son too. Will rent out my property and use the rental income to rent somewhere else so that the property I own before marriage doesn't end up as a matrimonial home. Won't give her any chance to 'enhance' the asset too.

There are guys who locked up their spouses money in a 40/60 tenancy in common property. You set aside the down-payment and tell her to pay half the monthly instalment. PRC's mind is wah, every month pay $2k (for example) can own 40% of the property. Good deal since she needs to spend on rental anyway. But what it does is to tie down more of her money with every passing month and therefore making it painful for her to leave you in future. She can choose the divorce route but given that you can show you paid the down-payment, the courts tend to rule in your favour.

As for paynow into joint account, prc can sidestep this by using another prc's account. Client pay into that paynow and the other pric just transfer money back to your ML.

Lastly, did you get permission from MOM to marry a S pass holder? Need to? Can she remain as a S pass holder after marriage?