Quote:
Originally Posted by SleepyPanda
Times when i offered to help her but she decline stating that she knows that i have no excess money and don't want me to borrow or sell my stuff just to help her.
What surprised me was one day she told me that she's afraid as when she goes back we can't see each other anymore and in vietnam culture i would have to take care of her family if she's to be my girlfriend and she didn't want to burden me any further.
The day came when she's returning to vietnam however there was no texts or call from her to say goodbye. I texted her a couple of times of there was no response from her. on the 3rd day i sent her saying that this is the final straw for me and i'm giving up and this is the final goodbye and wished her all the best. 36 hours later she replied, saying thank you very much for my time in sg. I was filled with mixed feelings when i saw her text, i know that i should ignore and move on with my life but i ended up texting her asking why now you decide to reply me? Her response was that she didn't have internet at home so she cannot message me. I told her i was tired and have to work tomorrow so talk to her again tomorrow(this was around 12mn yesterday). I don't know what to do now
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I apologise if Im hard on you but I have to address these points as I used to behave in the same way.
In terms of money matter, unless she asks for your help or she is already your GF, wife, lover etc, DO NOT offer the money in the first place. You will only become her safety net instead aka backup.
Its true in regards to the vietnamese culture because my ex was a vietnamese and she told me that even in a road accident, if the victim is still alive, you have to take care of the victim and his/her family for the rest of your life!
Since you have already messaged her, whether she replies to you or not, its done. Do not over pursue her! You put yourself in a very bad light and just telling her that you are a very needy person.
As I mentioned before, I used to behave like this too and that was why I gave my enemies aka my ex's mother & her other family members the ammo for her to break up with me. Have some self respect for yourself and just move on with your life. You may not thank me but at least be able to thank yourself for moving on and not stuck in the past like I once did.