Wife & Sex - going through the motion

[GoodAfternoon]

Originally Posted by gilagila100

Not so simple sometimes ... this is a very tricky question to answer ...

But I heard this from a lao jiao,

Make love to ur wife ...
Have sex with FL ...

Go chiong, bring $$$ & 2IC but dun bring heart ... No matter wat must go home to sleep

Not everyone is lucky to be able to have sex and make love with the same woman ...

sounds pretty logical to me, i think there is 2 parts to sex physical and emotional , making love with my wife is physical with emotional, however sometimes there is the urge to do it with other woman just to experience; purely physical with no emotional strings attached. so like this senior said end of the day still will love wife and will fulfil all promises to take care and love her till the end of time just my humble opinion.

[ferragamo]

Originally Posted by justawife

Hi 5ag1_Boar,
You can call it selfish but in the modern society, women contribute to the family as much as men if not more so

from your this one sentence I will say that you going to have issues with your husband

perhaps you don't realise it, but you are probably projecting a "I am superior" type of attitude in your relationships (this can apply to your marriage & family/friends)

sorry to say this, most men want a feminine woman, not a Saw Phaik Hwa

on the topic of why 'the other woman' usually is less accomplished, not as pretty nor as good body -here's a quote from Jun Cruz:

"At the end of the day I don't need a bright woman to argue with, I just want a pretty girl who will shut up when she needs to shut up."

I know we are living in the 21st century, blah blah blah blah, but as your question is how to keep you husband from straying, then here is the hard truth. He wants a woman to be there with him, not someone to boss him around and tell him how he is always wrong and she is always right, shake her head at him, sign loudly and walk away....

[justawife]

Originally Posted by 5ag1_Boar

Men need to feel like men. In bed, in decision making, etc. Does not mean you must let him dominate you, just don't talk down to him or nag at him. Communicate with him, discuss matters with him, find out what he thinks about matters. Even if he has no opinion, it matters that you bothered to ask.

Don't forget to be a wife, even if you are busy being a mother. You probably have to spend more time being a mother (and him being a father), but for some time of each day or week, both must make time to be husband and wife.

All said, of course, guys must still play their part.

Hmm, very good point... men needs to feel like men.. ok, jotted down in my "how to be a good wife" diary... so in terms of sex, what do men expect from their wives... Any tips appreciated.. I don't know how to give a proper blowjob and don't think I can ever make him cum that way....

Anyway just to share my view as a typical "guai-guai" wife, women also do get bored with sex with the man but we just close our eyes and pretend he is someone else ... haha.

[justawife]

Originally Posted by ferragamo

from your this one sentence I will say that you going to have issues with your husband

perhaps you don't realise it, but you are probably projecting a "I am superior" type of attitude in your relationships (this can apply to your marriage & family/friends)

sorry to say this, most men want a feminine woman, not a Saw Phaik Hwa

Really? I thought just projecting an "I am equal" type of attitude mah... women also get chances to cheat wat but we exercise control ... cos we are more level headed (ok, at least I am) I think about the consequences of breaking up my family, how hurt my husband will feel and my children etc etc... But I would say the trigger point for affairs for men and women are different. For most men, all it takes is a sexy attractive girl, for a women to stray must have "hweeling" wan...

[stone08]

Drain the husband dry everyday...need not be intercourse...can be hj or bj... Like that no more juice or energy to stray....hahaha

I read somewhere that some partners forced the hubbies to have sex and cum before the men leave the house...

[tamtam]

Quite true actually, in the past, my wife used to make it like a reward system for helping her do house choirs.

At first it was lovey dovey, dear help me mop floor, clean windows and wash cloths, and i give you a good one tonight, so lan lan do it...

Then slowly it turns out to be....dear if you didn't do this and that, NO SEX !

So now i finally got lots of SEX, but not with her, hehe.......She ends up with all the house choirs to herself !

[justawife]

Originally Posted by tamtam

Quite true actually, in the past, my wife used to make it like a reward system for helping her do house choirs.

At first it was lovey dovey, dear help me mop floor, clean windows and wash cloths, and i give you a good one tonight, so lan lan do it...

Then slowly it turns out to be....dear if you didn't do this and that, NO SEX !

So now i finally got lots of SEX, but not with her, hehe.......She ends up with all the house choirs to herself !

Ok, thanks for sharing... dun wanna end up lidat...

[asdfghjkl]

mg.. loves the sharing of experiences here.. keep them cumming.. made me wet too.. kekeke

[n30n]

Originally Posted by justawife

Really? I thought just projecting an "I am equal" type of attitude mah... women also get chances to cheat wat but we exercise control ... cos we are more level headed (ok, at least I am) I think about the consequences of breaking up my family, how hurt my husband will feel and my children etc etc... But I would say the trigger point for affairs for men and women are different. For most men, all it takes is a sexy attractive girl, for a women to stray must have "hweeling" wan...

Sometimes can't think in this way.
All men are different. Everyone, be it man or women, is individualistic.

So with your husband, you also can't think it in this way. The more you stereotype, the more you'll push him away. Try to understand him with his character and his given situation. Don't lump him with other guys.

So in a sense, if in doubt, go with a HTH talk with him. This is also to show him respect, and to do away with all the assumptions and accusations.

[5ag1_Boar]

Originally Posted by justawife

Hi 5ag1_Boar,

...

BTW, the thing about staying attractive well .. people age naturally right.. when we get to 50s, really must go for Botox etc to keep our husbands meh?

Yep, we age naturally. As I said, we don't expect you to keep the same looks/figure as when we married you. Just simple effort to look nice and sexy. Does not mean you are not allowed to grow fatter. Just don't become obese. Stay healthy and groom yourself, look feminine.

Put it this way. Just sit in a shopping mall or along Orchard Road or even CBD during lunch hour and observe the people. You will see that some of the older women or men may have wrinkles, thicker around the waist and butt, but they can still look sexy and attractive. And it all boils down to grooming, how they carry themselves and dressing.

[justawife]

Originally Posted by stone08

Not all men stray. Dunno what's the percentage though.. Anyone hazard a guess? 60%?

Ok, that's a pretty high %...

[justawife]

Originally Posted by stone08

Drain the husband dry everyday...need not be intercourse...can be hj or bj... Like that no more juice or energy to stray....hahaha

I read somewhere that some partners forced the hubbies to have sex and cum before the men leave the house...

har... not sianz meh... i reckon twice a week should be more than enough?

[justawife]

Originally Posted by n30n

Sometimes can't think in this way.
All men are different. Everyone, be it man or women, is individualistic.

So with your husband, you also can't think it in this way. The more you stereotype, the more you'll push him away. Try to understand him with his character and his given situation. Don't lump him with other guys.

So in a sense, if in doubt, go with a HTH talk with him. This is also to show him respect, and to do away with all the assumptions and accusations.

Well, I dont have much experience with men... but since when men come clean with their wives wan ... think they only HTH talk with their friends or worst, their mistresses...

[5ag1_Boar]

Originally Posted by justawife

Hmm, very good point... men needs to feel like men.. ok, jotted down in my "how to be a good wife" diary... so in terms of sex, what do men expect from their wives... Any tips appreciated.. I don't know how to give a proper blowjob and don't think I can ever make him cum that way....

Anyway just to share my view as a typical "guai-guai" wife, women also do get bored with sex with the man but we just close our eyes and pretend he is someone else ... haha.

Don't really need to make him cum with a blow job. Just be willing to spend some time to give him a nice blowjob. If his smell or taste bothers you, than look into his hygiene and diet (with him).

Learn how to give a good BJ and HJ... just Google. Lots of articles out there written by both men and women. HJ is not as straight forward as women think... if done wrongly, can be painful.

Don't ever let him know you fantasise about someone else... it's quite devastating.

Spice up your sex life by getting some books about sex. The nice ones by sexologists. You can Google or go Amazon.com to find them, then try to get them in the bigger outlets of local bookshops. Else import.

Lots of women's websites that talk about sex and keeping it fun in the bedroom too. Again, Google.

[justawife]

Originally Posted by 5ag1_Boar

Yep, we age naturally. As I said, we don't expect you to keep the same looks/figure as when we married you. Just simple effort to look nice and sexy. Does not mean you are not allowed to grow fatter. Just don't become obese. Stay healthy and groom yourself, look feminine.

Put it this way. Just sit in a shopping mall or along Orchard Road or even CBD during lunch hour and observe the people. You will see that some of the older women or men may have wrinkles, thicker around the waist and butt, but they can still look sexy and attractive. And it all boils down to grooming, how they carry themselves and dressing.

Well.. ok I guess I agree with you but I think only applies to older men... Somehow even if an older woman look attractive but when she is standing next to a 20 yr old, sure lose out loh ... haha but I get your point. Actually I cannot understand women who don't bother except those who stay at home of cos.. so moral of the story, women should work so we have excuse to make ourselves pretty..