Wife & Sex - going through the motion

[303258]

Originally Posted by jameschong1

---
since u say your wife worthless in value, why don't u sell her to garung guni for $5?

-84 and still havent learnt how to talk in forum?

[Xyberduke]

Originally Posted by Wizard123

Married =17 years
2 boys. = 15 n 9
Last sex with wife = maybe 2008

Reason =physical =find her fat, volunteer to walk with her, but she just want to watch TV or play iPhone games

Emotional = piss with her as she refuse to do even a Part time job to help the family budget.

= letting the kids have free play of the computer games thus resulting in poor grade and absentee from school. Her solution is to get tuition teacher thus increasing my burden..have ever use the soft approach to explain to her that the kids need to finish their home work before they can play computer. And sleep by 10 pm to have proper rest before school. Fuck, all has turn to deaf ear..

Present situation.. I am tired n stress from my rotating shift..if I discipline my kids on the computer always result in me getting angry..

I am thinking of moving to my empty room, ignored her completely , cut her expense get a PRC get fren even I know the relationship is fake n base on money..

I need to have my rest n happiness.. Not a fucking ATM machine for the family..

Tired n stress

My god, we're clones... I face the exact problem with my ex-wife for years before my divorce. It was extremely bad.... just like you've described, just that mine have a extremely bad temper and would call me continuously in my office when i work late, and quarrel with me daily for small little things.... mine went on a diet to get slim but immediately after ROM, ate like a pig and became a balloon.... and even went host bars to feed gigolos....


NOW, here's the reality!

YOU HAVE TWO KIDS! They need a dad!
If your wife is like this now, she is never going to be a good mother.
Singapore protects women and regardless of what you read on the internet, children goes to mother unless special circumstances (violence, etc..)... you can pay any lawyers $250-$400 and they'll tell you the same thing.

From my experience, I DIVORCED my ex-wife and although i could get back everything, i gave it to my kid but she totally didn't give a damn about the child pyschological upbringing and simply wanted custody to get the flat, and more money and claimed she wants to give the child a better life... she would rather drag the divorce hoping for more money while I tried to give as much to make sure the child grow up properly... she didn't know that the longer a divorce drag, the more suffering for the kid, and the family members around us, she just don't care...

I totally regretted my decision as i am sorry for my kid and it's all my fault. I should have just tolerated and ignored her for the rest of my life (let her waste her life till she rest in the coffin) and put all my attention on my child.

Save your marriage, tell her straight in the face she is FAT. You've enough of her nonsense, and everything you didn't like about her. That's phase 1, being frank does help. If that didn't work, type "save marriage singapore" there are lots of help out there. Counselling did more harm than good for me as my ex-wife is totally about herself, and care nothing about saving the marriage. The only method of saving the marriage was for me to commit to all her demands.
So, good luck to yours....

Think of your kids.

If you get a gf, and she engages a PI to get reports of you (other proof don't work in court) having sexual relationship with her, she can divorce you on adultery grounds, take everything from you.

If you initiate a divorce based on what you've described above, you can divorce her immediately based on unreasonable behaviour (no separation period), but she can put up a fight and drag about 6mths.... so you need to have some proof... check with your lawyers. Divorcing this way, court has a norms for couples to split assets, 17years marriage, you get 30%, she gets 70%.. around that region... and if you're financially supporting her now, that will continue in the form of maintenance after divorce...(I don't want to advice you how to overcome this as it's very bad stuff, check with lawyers)



If all attempts to save the marriage fails, MY ADVICE IS... SUCK IT UP for the sake of the kids.... don't let them fall into the hands of your ex-wife if she's really that bad .....just ignore her, have fun outside, you can sleep around, screw around to relieve yourself, but do not start a extramartial relationship to put yourself at a disadvantage. Go home, ignore her, put all your attention on your kids, love your kids, and just wait for your wife to kick the bucket in years to come..... at any point in time if your wife wakes up and realise how bad she is, give her a chance to repent....



BUT before, anything, look yourself in the mirror and ask have you been a good husband and daddy..... I did that for a week, before i started saving the marriage previously (even though i failed eventually), so that i know what's my baseline....

[Xyberduke]

Originally Posted by asdfghjkl

i start to worry liao.. i am a high sex drive woman. if after marriage, i realise my husband is low, how then?

get a vibrator...
serious... my fuck buddy many yrs ago did that when we stopped screwing a few months before our ROM with our respective partners.... we ROM in the same month, hehee...

she had a super high sex drive and would sometimes meet up with me for a short time before meeting her bf(now husband) and sometimes after in the middle of the night.... she totally enjoys sex and need sex, but guys are guys, or me and her husband just not as good, can only cum once or twice per day....

the vibrator was her must bring daily to work and must use after work before she goes home and she's not prepared to be unfaithful to her husband after ROM.... (she told me she don't feel anything when she finger herself, and she can't use vibrator at home, soo...)

[wangal]

Originally Posted by analog

Hey Bro:

At least you're getting some!!!
Many are getting nothing.

Women are really evil in this sense....
Their entire job, obligation, is to have sex with their husband. That is what a marriage license is, a document consenting to have sex with this man.

Sigh....life.

Note to all young guys, I know, i know...your GF today is a slut, she complains you can't fuck enough or often enough, she sucks your cock, takes it up the ass everything, you're in bliss. You buy a ring, you get engaged....life is great. After you get engaged sex gets even better, you are in heaven all is great, You get married, and your screwing her in every room in your new flat every day of the week, TWICE a day, its all good. She gets pregnant, you're both happy, after all, you're married. Its all good, sex continues through the pregnancy, then the baby is born, happy, happy, happy.......and it never comes back. You wait, you're a patient, modern sensitive guy, she has to heal you say to your self, 2 months, 4 months, 6 months a year.....when is she going to heal? Why she not interested any more etc....

Then she decides she wants another baby, she rapes you for a few months until she gets pregnant again, then she shuts off. Not like first time when you fucked all through the pregnancy. This time she doesn't let you touch her....and the cycle repeats.

And this is how life is with a Singaporean wife my friends. And young boys who are still in the GF/BF stage, save your advice. You have no idea how that little slut you have for a GF right now will change once you marry her and she has a kid. You simply have NO IDEA!

I went to a marriage course when I was a teenager, church related thing, married priest (yes, there are such things) and he said this:
"Couples marry with the man thinking his wife will never change and the woman thinking she will change her future husband. They're both wrong."

How true that has turned out to be.

I'm hoping once the kids get a bit older she comes back. By she I mean the woman I married because the woman I am with now is not who I married. But there is nothing any of us can do about it. Its enough to drive a man to drink....and many do.

Cheers,
jim

Bro, ur words are identical to what i am going thru.. Words by words!!... Damn fxxking sian.. Dunno bcos its Singapore gal or wat..

[wangal]

Bro, my deepest condolences to u. i will b a devil to 2nd ur divorce idea, but u need to know e woman charter well enough. Mayb u could try reducing $$ commitment to home to show who's wearing pants... Also ur.wife has iphone, ur kids has computer, mayb u r giving in too much to their request to buy things...

[wangal]

[QUOTE=tamtam;7120054]

Originally Posted by trinity_24160

Sadly, this is my plan too....

Knn, when a women tired, can don't want to have sex,
when a men tired, CAN DON'T WORK ANOT ?

Everytime wants tour here tour there, i thot hoseih leow, can fuck her brains out, since we always booked another room for my childrens, can you imagine for the whole fucking tour of 7 days, she let me screw her only once, somemore quickie, complains tired. But during the day she can run here n there shopping during the tour like a dragon!

This happened on many different tour of ours, max i got to screw her during tours was only twice !!!

This year she wants to go Paris, fuck ! i said "No", i rather bring any syt or milf in this forum to Paris now. All expense paid for !

Honestly, i m a very nice guy in the past, she has turned me into a monster now, not that i want to, not a excuse for fucking out !

Sian, Sian and more Sian.

Before anyone here says " I do ", better take the chance to fuck her up properly, coz after marriage, you are " FUCKED "

I totally agree man!! Regretted spending 10k on e stupid rock, now also dunno where it is wan sex need to beg, and normally will nt get, imagine tat 10k can fxxk how many Ang Pai in Malaysia SPA..Same here, i ban all tours w my wife. Hope co send me for more trips, and use e tour $$ to xchg for pleasure outside.

[Wizard123]

Thanks for all the replies.. One of it is to look at myself in the mirror and ask if I have been a good husband or daddy.. Frankly I do not know.. When the kids were younger, I bring them to park, swimming , ride bicycle and movies etc.. Now they are more interested in their computer games.. As a husband, again I do not know..I do help out in housework when I was doing normal office hour.. But now I do rotation shift, I am tired. I also do not want to touch her as she is fat n made no attempt to do anythIng about it. Also not willing take a job so that I can quit the shift work n do a office hour with lesser pay.. With these, I see her also no mood for anything.. Any woman comments .. It will be interestIng to see thing from the other side..

[stone08]

"years.. Tired.. Am I a fucking walking ATM machine?"

Ya man, some of us are just like bloody suckers..sucked dry like nobodys business.

[tamtam]

Originally Posted by Xyberduke

BUT before, anything, look yourself in the mirror and ask have you been a good husband and daddy..... I did that for a week, before i started saving the marriage previously (even though i failed eventually), so that i know what's my baseline....

Wow ! I learnt something today, despite all the difference between my wife and me, i need to reflex myself in the mirror...
" Am i a good DAD "

Thanks for reminding me, i should do more for my kids.

[justawife]

Hi Wizard123, I cannot help but reply.... Or rather this is to really all the husbands.. are men really that shallow... When you married your wife, did you expect her to look physically the same 10 - 20 years down the road? What about the past feelings when you met her? Why did you marry her? Is it really just for the looks? There must be something else right?

[Maryanne]

If she has put on weight this will make her feel like shit, and then she will have to shift the blame from herself and will dump it on you. A great book to understand women is Men are from mars and woman are from Venus.
Its worth a read if you want to understand your wife, and take note of the earlier comment, try to fix the situation by educating yourself, as the family is worth the effort.
If it doesn't work you will at least be more aware of woman so that a second time around you don't make the same mistakes.
Woman are completely different logic to men, and if you can understand the differences it is much easier to accept.

[wasabi]

So many brudders going thru similar experience after marriage.... Wonder is it only Singapore girls or what?

[Xyberduke]

everybody can disagree with me...

but here's me....

my marriage with my ex-wife broke down. why? because we don't communicate, we've different hobbies, hang out with different types of friends, i don't like her friends, she don't like my friends... we don't really enjoy anything together after a year of marriage.. and both started to have our own late night activities... i go ktv, sleep around, and she seldom come home when i'm on business trips.. and hung out at host bars..

if you see my past threads, i hang out at ktv twice a week, womanising....


Anyone who have the same problem and your age is under 30. DIVORCE now. Sorry this is a fact... Counsellors only help people accomodate each other's shortcoming and understand each other better. I'm a real life example. I cannot accept her life, she cannot accept mine. And we were disillusioned that we actually tried to accomodate and hide our true character. We are what we are, to change yourself, you're not yourself, and there're plenty of gals and guys out there for everybody. Why force yourself to do something you don't like just because you're married? Everybody makes mistakes, and we're Singaporean. What's the percentage of Singaporeans staying on the same job for his/her entire life? We're built that why.

The other fact is that most men like to sleep around. A woman can resist a hot nake man standing front of her, but can a man resist a hot naked girl standing in front of him? I can't. So if your wife cannot stand you spending time outside with buddies (as a cover) at least once a month, then your life will be difficult. It would be like prison. BUT you must give the same freedom to your wife to be fair.


the SAD FACT is, if you have kids, think twice, because kids go to wife by default (precedence). and hdb goes to the one that can form nucleus... Your wife and kid. then, your assets will go to your wife unless she's earning way more than you (not just a bit more or earns the same). 1-5yrs marriage she gets 5-10% more after 50/50 split; 6-10 yrs around 10-15%; 11-15yrs, blah blah blah..... So basically, you've a lot to lose. this is divorce based on unreasonable behaviour (even if you don't like her job, you can divorce this way); after 3-4yrs separation, etc. BUT if any party engages a PI with a report to proof adultery, everything is lost.


the very SAD FACT is, your kid will grow up in a single-parent family. I've only seen a few good people growing up from single-parent families, most are ...you know better.



I initiated divorce because i was forced to a corner, my ex-wife even turned to violence and threats. I had no choice. I wanted to take custody of my child to take my kid away from my ex-wife, and had prepared all the necessary proof(what i thought was proof). BUT learnt the sad fact after my divorce proceedings started... Everything that i read on the net and law websites are not as I understood. But it was too late and my first lawyer was crap and left the law firm shortly creating a huge delay in my case.



My kid is suffering. I'm suffering financially, from a big spender with lots of cash in hand, i now hesitate buying anything more than a curry rice for meals as my bank account depletes through legal fees as my ex-wife is still trying to fight for more even though she has a losing case, she just wants me to waste money on legal fees and continue torturing me, while she borrows everywhere thinking that she can claim legal fees from me (which i've sought opinion from several lawyers that it's impossible on her grounds, luckily)...


Now for the interesting facts... Divorce lawyers.. They get paid whether they win or lose. And divorce is an area that doesn't need referrals. So please beware. The longer your drag, the more they earn. And the tasks for them gets easier as the case drags (less affidavits which is a one time effort), but for you, it only gets tougher emotionally and financially daily (unless you've sound financial plans and savings catered specifically for divorce).

Now for a fact to verify for yourself. Judges are not ALL top students from law school, in fact, top law graduates would earn bigger bucks as a lawyer then joining the legal services. Outside court, they're human and have characters that you see day in day out. And if they're perfect, there wouldn't be a Appeal court. So it's like walking into a casino and hope you get a good judge... They're generally good, but you may meet one that's on a really bad day. Not sure what would turn out.


So...... DIVORCE early, DIVORCE now, until you find the right one. If you have kids, suck it up and accept life as it is. And if you accept life as it is, continue to sleep around but don't start an extramartial relationship.

[ImmatureBoy]

Originally Posted by asdfghjkl

i start to worry liao.. i am a high sex drive woman. if after marriage, i realise my husband is low, how then?

dun wori marry me, i high sex drive

[asdfghjkl]

i want like 4, 5 times daily ler.. kekeke.. i told my 40+ buddy and he got upset at me..