Wife & Sex - going through the motion

[Kenjo]

How will it be like when your spouse have sex with you every week but is in fact thinking of other people?

Will you think this is a comfort at least willing to have sex with you although heart is not there with you, or that WTF, treating you as the other? Will you act along?

[Hotmocca]

While it is true to a certain extent that Love is about Accepting and NOT about Expecting or Asking your partner to change for you...

I have also seen many times, how "complacency" have slowly consumed love within relationships and create the space for the dreadful "D" to occupy.

I guess many will agree when I say humans are "mostly" creature comforts that continuously seek beautiful things in life.

So be it a husband or a wife, i believe we must all put in that extra effort to make ourselves look good and attractive.

While some may say that there is only "that much" that one can do to look good, especially guys... but I personally know of some husbands who make that special effort so that their wife's remain attracted to them... and so keeping the flame in their marriage burning...

my two cents worth...









Now if you share my sentiments that Attraction does play a part in spicing up your love life... start working on yourself and slowly influence your better half.

Afterall, we're getting older by the day and there's no turning back the clock... So let's try to look our best when we can!

[HCKing]

when a woman feels stress and down she seeks emotional comfort, rounds of shopping and nice food. the least thing on her mind is to have sex.

[underage2010]

A very sad Thread...

[Hotmocca]

Originally Posted by auntygranny

I have been with him for the past 15 years... Since I was about 19.

I know actually how he feels or what he is going to do next. I can even help him to continue his sentences! Having sex is more about seeking comfort than excitement. But I know he really love me very much.

In my case, I understand my wife more than she does on me... and we've been together since teenage days.

To make matters worst, her attention and focus were all (100%) on the kids and she literally "took me for granted" if I may say so...

The marriage actually came to a stage where love simple just dissappeared! and many times, we had arguments so bad we almost went separate ways if not for the kids...

But... We managed to work around it...

So, while it is all beautiful to have a marriage filled with love, comfort and excitement... I guess a large part of it also depends on communication (lots of it), understanding and give and take...

[aarion]

Originally Posted by sgiceboy

Bro Mona,

U are lucky to have a wife who lets you do all those things.

to us is like,

Lick breast , cannot very itchy...
Lick pussy, cannot very unclean....
Fingering, cannot painful.....
Want to have sex.... no mood... no drive....

When have sex ... its like gg through the motion.

pull down panties, then lie down there and u have the do all the work.

no foreplay no nothing... dun even bother to take off her TOP...

haizz.... its a sad sad world

I didn't want to comment till i saw what this brother wrote.

Let me share my part of the story. I have know my wife for the past ten years of courting. We have sex every moment we have.

On our 8th year, we broke up due to my less attention and also her family pressure to choose me over them. Her father hated me and also there was a new guy. I worked super hard to win her back and also managed to reconcile with the family.

Then this is where the sex went down hill. It is exactly what the bro wrote above. Then before our first anniversary, my friends and I took a trip up to Danok.

To cut story short, came back and she found out due to my stupidity. Sex was even worst than before. I was hoping for the worst like slap, scold and kick me out of the house but instead i got mind tortured. We decided to reconcile the marriage but she is not willing to move forward. She doesn't want to blame me but blame on my friends instead.

Every arguments we have brings up the trip I had and all the pain i cost. I just feel that bring me back to guilt trip would not help us to move forward at all. I know it is not easy but I don't see an effort at all. Whatever i do is not good enough.

We are already seeing counseling, but from my last visit. I realized that she doesn't want to let go of the past and keep on insisting I should be the only one doing all the work to make this marriage work. I really feel like i can't breath sometimes. I really want to give up and walk away. Life is too short to be burden by emotional bondage. What would you guys and gals think and advice?

Sorry, if i have wrote this in the wrong section.

[analog]

Originally Posted by aarion

I didn't want to comment till i saw what this brother wrote.

Let me share my part of the story. I have know my wife for the past ten years of courting. We have sex every moment we have.

On our 8th year, we broke up due to my less attention and also her family pressure to choose me over them. Her father hated me and also there was a new guy. I worked super hard to win her back and also managed to reconcile with the family.

Then this is where the sex went down hill. It is exactly what the bro wrote above. Then before our first anniversary, my friends and I took a trip up to Danok.

To cut story short, came back and she found out due to my stupidity. Sex was even worst than before. I was hoping for the worst like slap, scold and kick me out of the house but instead i got mind tortured. We decided to reconcile the marriage but she is not willing to move forward. She doesn't want to blame me but blame on my friends instead.

Every arguments we have brings up the trip I had and all the pain i cost. I just feel that bring me back to guilt trip would not help us to move forward at all. I know it is not easy but I don't see an effort at all. Whatever i do is not good enough.

We are already seeing counseling, but from my last visit. I realized that she doesn't want to let go of the past and keep on insisting I should be the only one doing all the work to make this marriage work. I really feel like i can't breath sometimes. I really want to give up and walk away. Life is too short to be burden by emotional bondage. What would you guys and gals think and advice?

Sorry, if i have wrote this in the wrong section.

Bro aarion:

it takes two hands to clap. if both parties are not interested....you should go. You can't make it work on your own and it sounds like that is what she is demanding.

Get a lawyer and see how she reacts. If it doesn't phase her, the marriage is done.

Cheers,
jim

[n30n]

Originally Posted by aarion

I didn't want to comment till i saw what this brother wrote.

Let me share my part of the story. I have know my wife for the past ten years of courting. We have sex every moment we have.

On our 8th year, we broke up due to my less attention and also her family pressure to choose me over them. Her father hated me and also there was a new guy. I worked super hard to win her back and also managed to reconcile with the family.

Then this is where the sex went down hill. It is exactly what the bro wrote above. Then before our first anniversary, my friends and I took a trip up to Danok.

To cut story short, came back and she found out due to my stupidity. Sex was even worst than before. I was hoping for the worst like slap, scold and kick me out of the house but instead i got mind tortured. We decided to reconcile the marriage but she is not willing to move forward. She doesn't want to blame me but blame on my friends instead.

Every arguments we have brings up the trip I had and all the pain i cost. I just feel that bring me back to guilt trip would not help us to move forward at all. I know it is not easy but I don't see an effort at all. Whatever i do is not good enough.

We are already seeing counseling, but from my last visit. I realized that she doesn't want to let go of the past and keep on insisting I should be the only one doing all the work to make this marriage work. I really feel like i can't breath sometimes. I really want to give up and walk away. Life is too short to be burden by emotional bondage. What would you guys and gals think and advice?

Sorry, if i have wrote this in the wrong section.

You have tried many methods in your ways.

Have you tried honestly asking her what exactly she wants?
You understand she's blaming you, but did she want out or she want to work things out?
If she can't understand what she wants, you two will be in limbo till that happens. You are ready, she isn't. Hope you have the patience to let her realise her own actions.

Or maybe, you can find a way to let her release that anger that preventing you two from moving forward. Need to find that particular switch in her, pushing all other buttons won't work that well.

Jia you!

[SaintArc]

I dnt reckon is yr fault, sometimes is herself trying to cover her mistake or guilt n pushing all to u and it doesn't help if she avoiding all sort of actions n begging from u.
A person loves e other no matter wat happen.
If u keep thinking is yr fault that's only makes her feel better

[SharkAttack]

1. I think she feels guilty

2. I think its due to family pressure that cos her to change and she knew abt it but had to conform.

3. You changed or decided to relief yourself with friends. Hence to her it might be considered eating outside.

4. No matter what u do abt this subject, it'll never go away till either one of u admits it and grow numb when either party rises it up. To me thats forgive n forget. Sadly the forgiven part nvr takes place.

5. Lastly, i think the issue isnt that single one. Perhaps its payback from her end cos you created 'hell' n didnt let her experience the new guy.

To end: steven hawkins the wheel chair bound physic prof said women is the greatest mystery in the universe. If the brainest guy said so, what can us simpleton do to outperform him.

[Mikesgch]

Similar situation! As husband, asked for sex from wife but always received excuses like, "tired", "stress", "no mood", etc... WTF! I realise nowadays, if the women spending too much time online, chances of chatting with guys are very high and the attention and focus were diverted. The women probably getting alot of sweet talks, attention and care from someone over the Internet from other guys. So, communication and time spending together is very crucial in relationship. However, we need to spend time working and look after kids, so there are people saying the best fuck is always not from your wife or husband! ...sigh....good luck!

[AngelvsDevil]

can anyone share, especially for those who have FB or find FL outside...
If you and your oc still gets hot sex in bed with many steamy fun even after years of marriage and kids... will u still gets tired of her/him and eat out?
or you can stay prefectly faithful to him/her for the rest of your life?

[guess67]

How many times of sex would the male samsters like per week?

[ice2001]

You never walk alone!
My lagi best! Try all methods. Tell me straight in my face. I really LOVE you but I really do not feel the urge at all.

I meant all METHODS. Trying to find spanish fly if outside market still running this product. Any bros can intro? Maybe that my last resort!

Currently in my early 30s. Before marriage, everything fucking good. I gave up my 9 years long relationship for her. 9 years a woman that I fucked not even feel bored and know how to sitr me and make me horny. Thought I made a good decision. End up fuck type.

I think we should have a coffee session and discuss what we can do about it. Rather we become some horny bastards and fuck around and got into troubles like the 44 men. I know one of them. Anyway, sometimes I rather be one of the 44 men. At least my wife can know I am a normal man who needs sex rather than using my imagination and hand. Human being runs out of imgination sometimes too and need real actions.

Haiz.... Life!!! I tell u even rich also better don't keep mistress if kena lagi jialat! Everything half half ah!

Singapore very strict then every month go World tour for one week. I do not believe got $$$ got no sex. However, I still love my wife alot as she gave me 2 kids. But woman should consider us also. We worked hard and let them spend our $$$. $500 to fuck a FL I rather buy something for my wife.

Anyway, I already gave up all my hopes. My wife is very mean and can tell me straight. Even I tell her my fantasy she can say straightaway, I don't like it. knn. Bros, u know is damn turn off! I feel like a fucking loser! However, in my life, everybody think that I am successful, and got a pretty wife.

So next time when u comment on your frens wife. Please think. Because whenever my frens comment, in my mind i am thinking "PRETTY SO WHAT!!! CAN FUCK ANOT!

[SHeaven]

Originally Posted by Absolute

I am thankful that I have chosen to be single after reading all the sexual woes from so many sexually-frustrated married men here.

I have a friend who is in his 40s and his wife is also not interested in sex starting fromat least 10 years ago. But he really loves his wife and respects her choice.

His philosophy is simple: Man can live life meaningfully without sex. Look at monks. As such, he has developed a hobby he is very passionate about - motor cycles. In fact, he told me that he can clean his motorbike for one entire day without even thinking about sex or copulating his wife and other women.

His advice for sexually-frustrated married man is this: don't see sex as a must-have. Without sex, you are even healthier. Divert your mind to something more constructive such as doing charity work or pursuing a hobby. He believes that our mind is able to help you overcome your sexual desire and live a more fulfilling life.

Good luck!

Well said, I agree to that!
With less sex, a man can be healthier and more energy to focus on his career.