Wife & Sex - going through the motion

[Darina]

Originally Posted by Frankiestine

Understand how you feel sis, the worst part is when my oc told me she just do it to get it over with...

That is the biggest libido killer

[starm]

Originally Posted by lam1673

Brother Analog really strike my chord, my situation was exactly what happened in his description.

When she wanted a 3rd kid, she literally expose her pussy every night and wanted me to squeeze every drops of sperm into her. It was great sex actually and I did not mind.

However after we had our 3rd kids, the chores of taking care of 3 kids made her mood swing all the times, we hardly had sex during the toddler times of our kids.

The thing is I do see some light in the tunnel, our kids now are more independent and we began to spice up our sex life by having regular timeout with hot dates and follow by passionate sex in a posh hotel away from the burden of the kids. I can sense situation is improving.

Perhaps brother out there can try to sort thing out with your wife to take time off for both of you.

I am interested to know before your kids grew up and while they are still young, when wife lost interests in sex, what did you do? Have you been bearing with this? I have not been so lucky and almost the similar case like some of you. Dating time was good fun...after married, yeah 1st born very exciting...later 2nd child...after pregnant ..child grow up and into primary school now. Whenever my desire comes in the day...she will like set a rule, sex only means during night. In the day time, children are around. Come on..I am doing in the room, lock the room. She always said wait night..When night comes, either one of us very tired sleep first or she would rather dived into doing household chores, wash clothing, or doing her facial, remove pimples until 1-2am then only come in room.

Lately, complaining me have no foreplay blar blar...I have really enough. Isn't this suppose to be both sides blame?

[charisme]

Originally Posted by Darina

Yes I agree a marriage should not just be based on sex
However, it should not be sexless at all which is kinda the situation I'm in right now.

Yes my self-esteem started to take a really huge blow. Does he find me unattractive? Am I too fat? Does he not find me sexy any more? Anyway, I hv found that the answer is not me.

Seems like both man and woman suffer from sexless marriage..
I'm sure u still are attractive in your own many ways. a pity he doesnt appreciate. Good that u found out thr reason is not u. Gain back your confidence. let him see what he have missed out in his sexy wife!

[Rickey]

Originally Posted by Darina

Yes I agree a marriage should not just be based on sex
However, it should not be sexless at all which is kinda the situation I'm in right now.

Yes my self-esteem started to take a really huge blow. Does he find me unattractive? Am I too fat? Does he not find me sexy any more? Anyway, I hv found that the answer is not me.

Originally Posted by charisme

Seems like both man and woman suffer from sexless marriage..
I'm sure u still are attractive in your own many ways. a pity he doesnt appreciate. Good that u found out thr reason is not u. Gain back your confidence. let him see what he have missed out in his sexy wife!

Seems like we are all talking about the same problem...a sexless marriage or 1 where there's hardly any sex frm our partners...its abt our Hbs or wives who are not responding to our sexual wants or needs...evading us, turning us away frm them or they turning away from us respectively ...for various reasons best known to themselves...many of which we hav oredi shared in this thread...tis really good tat we hav all come to a understanding & consensus abt tis problem

Really empathise wif all bros & sisters here who are affected by tis problem...yes, its heart-wrenching & heart-breaking to know tat our partners dun seem to appreciate all our efforts, all tat we have done for them & taken us for granted instead, treated us wif disrespect & hav chosen to go the other way & turn their back on us ... causing us to make detours

Th'ru all sharing our experiences here, am very glad tat sis, darina, charisme & zacarie now understand tis problem frm the HB's perspective .. just as much as we oso fully understand & empathise wif them on their problem wif their HBs or ex-HBs ...my heart goes out to them...thankfully most or all of them are now happier wif new partners ...in fact, none of us deserve tis type of behaviour frm our straying & unco-operative partners...so now we shd work together, share & help each other find solutions to tis problem esp for those of our young frens, relatives or family members entering into marriage frm falling into tis same problem trap which seems to repeat itself...hopefully in the process oblitering the word divorce frm the dictionary, so tat all of us wil be able to live a happily-after married life...one tats truly till death do us part...i thank all who hav contributed to tis discussion & i hav learnt quite a few things frm u guys..thank u !

[Tomthefucker]

Originally Posted by starm

Whenever my desire comes in the day...she will like set a rule, sex only means during night. In the day time, children are around. Come on..I am doing in the room, lock the room. She always said wait night..When night comes, either one of us very tired sleep first or she would rather dived into doing household chores, wash clothing, or doing her facial, remove pimples until 1-2am then only come in room.

Lately, complaining me have no foreplay blar blar...I have really enough. Isn't this suppose to be both sides blame?

it is very frustrating for me as well most of the time. I mean come on i am not an alarm clock which can be tuned to be 'turned on' at night. At times i would love to have some intimacy in the day time. Not when in the wee hours of the night after kids are asleep, after finished watching tv and then come into bedroom. By then chances are either one will be too tired.

I have come to realise rather than waiting the whole day time for a moment which may not happen, i would be better off diy myself when i have the urge.

I do not know about the rest but for me, i would love to have intimacy moments with wife most of the time even if i dont have the urge. Just love the feeling of being together, the closeness to each other. Nowadays is like i have to make the first move if i 'want' it. She wont be initiating anything anymore. She said that if i make her aroused she would then want it.....huh?? thats a morale beating kind of statement....what happened to my sex appeal to her?? no more??

[Tomthefucker]

and here i am sitting in front of my computer, having waited the whole night in vain and she's asleep already...

Anyone else facing the same and awake at this hour?

[jasdude]

Understand the frustrations when both think they can accommodate and understand but due to the hectic motion of mundane life , the inadequate time to finish what the relationship between two need the most . " TOGETHER PRIVATE TIME " . Of course sex is important too ! But a hug goes a longer way than a F**K . Pardon my French !

It boils down to the same thing again, effort in physical and emotional communication and the willingness to make time for it . A relationship does not just stop at marriage ! Never be complacent and let it be the tombstone of romance ! It is a ongoing never ending building and maintenance process which I learned the hard way .

[Frankiestine]

Originally Posted by Darina

That is the biggest libido killer

Indeed but I have since learned not to let this this thing disturb me anymore.... I think my ex pinoy and Latino mama fb can attest to my sexual prowess

[Sen5eS]

Jasdude : well put ... pity sometimes we have 2 learn it the hard way ...

[jasdude]

Originally Posted by Sen5eS

Jasdude : well put ... pity sometimes we have 2 learn it the hard way ...

Well , no regrets and we should not look back and regret cos what was not meant to be was not meant to be . As long we take every thing as a learning experience for one self . Learn not to repeat the same mistakes from each and every failed relationship ; reflect and improve on oneself . We will be a much better partner and lover to any future relationships by experience . Tiring process but life goes on until you find the right one ..........

[Rickey]

Originally Posted by Tomthefucker

it is very frustrating for me as well most of the time. I mean come on i am not an alarm clock which can be tuned to be 'turned on' at night. At times i would love to have some intimacy in the day time. Not when in the wee hours of the night after kids are asleep, after finished watching tv and then come into bedroom. By then chances are either one will be too tired.

I have come to realise rather than waiting the whole day time for a moment which may not happen, i would be better off diy myself when i have the urge.

I do not know about the rest but for me, i would love to have intimacy moments with wife most of the time even if i dont have the urge. Just love the feeling of being together, the closeness to each other. Nowadays is like i have to make the first move if i 'want' it. She wont be initiating anything anymore. She said that if i make her aroused she would then want it.....huh?? thats a morale beating kind of statement....what happened to my sex appeal to her?? no more??

Originally Posted by Tomthefucker

and here i am sitting in front of my computer, having waited the whole night in vain and she's asleep already...

Anyone else facing the same and awake at this hour?

Empathise wif u too, bro tomthefucker...u are joining the long list of bros here having similar problems wif the wives...As we grow older, things like tis is likely to happen.. only tink is we need to take preventive or stimulative measures if we wanna maintain or enhance the r/s..

Dun tink u hav lost yr sex appeal to yr wife, bro...tink none of us guys do...only tink is for some wives, we hav to make them appreciate & show their love for us...in yr case, i see there is still plenty of hope for u...tink she just needs more stimulation now frm u...talk to her, arrange something romantic tgt, anything u can tink of tat she likes & i tink she wil come around...a matter of time...at least she did tell u...if u make her aroused...she still wants it...she hav not rejected u outright...only tink is u need to make more effort than usual...i wish u all the best in tis & hope u hav many hrs of sexual bliss like b4 ....

[acidicavex]

Originally Posted by Tomthefucker

it is very frustrating for me as well most of the time. I mean come on i am not an alarm clock which can be tuned to be 'turned on' at night. At times i would love to have some intimacy in the day time. Not when in the wee hours of the night after kids are asleep, after finished watching tv and then come into bedroom. By then chances are either one will be too tired.

I have come to realise rather than waiting the whole day time for a moment which may not happen, i would be better off diy myself when i have the urge.

I do not know about the rest but for me, i would love to have intimacy moments with wife most of the time even if i dont have the urge. Just love the feeling of being together, the closeness to each other. Nowadays is like i have to make the first move if i 'want' it. She wont be initiating anything anymore. She said that if i make her aroused she would then want it.....huh?? thats a morale beating kind of statement....what happened to my sex appeal to her?? no more??

Same here Same senario plus she say you want it you must treat me nice and i realise what she meant (get boss around by her while she sit there either watching tv or surfing the net watching drama or playing on the EyeFung aka Iphone) Duhz and like you it is always late nites if or if it ever happens just to get boss around more eg. Go brush your teeth or Go prepare for it or need to get me in the mood..... (The best is once i went to brush my teeth but tummy complain so i told her need to release she said pls shower after that okie i did come out of bath room she already enter lala land)

Like in another treat a bro mention and here i will mention my wife is just not into it from after we tied the knot move out stay alone for almost 6-8 yrs no kids she always say not ready...... the love making session was worse than before marriage 2-3 times a mth...... till not 1 or 2 time depend could be mths... Like you bro i perfer DIY now but sometimes need content and again kana pin "Keep watching those until your brain corrupted only know want to do and do"...............

My sharing jeez.......

[havana]

Wah!!!! Inklish berry the powderful. I read until lono wat u right???

[Darina]

Originally Posted by charisme

Seems like both man and woman suffer from sexless marriage..
I'm sure u still are attractive in your own many ways. a pity he doesnt appreciate. Good that u found out thr reason is not u. Gain back your confidence. let him see what he have missed out in his sexy wife!

I've long gained back my confidence.
Kinda given up on anything with him. If anything at all it's a bonus.
Don't get me wrong. I still love him it's just the lack of sex is all and I've learnt to move on.

Originally Posted by Frankiestine

Indeed but I have since learned not to let this this thing disturb me anymore.... I think my ex pinoy and Latino mama fb can attest to my sexual prowess

I learnt that hitting the tree does not mean the fruits will drop for you to eat

[Frankiestine]

Originally Posted by Darina

I learnt that hitting the tree does not mean the fruits will drop for you to eat

???Wah that one a big too chim for monster to understand not unless you mean you been "swinging" tree to tree like Tarzan...