husband neglect me after marriage. need advise.

[mandyiee]

Hi all reader, im been a silent reader for years. Recently i really cannot take it need some advise from you guys. Im a lady mid 20s .im plump. Married for nearly 4 yrs.no kid.we have been together for 9years. My husband n i did not have sex after married. When ever i ask him for sex he decline n go to sleep or ask me to sleep. I did quarrel w him many time for this leave .after living for 4 year together everyday was boring so i wanted a baby he look like he does not want any.now he blame me to eating the pill when we are dating.i did think of leaving him as this married w no kids n sex make me not worth it. He always day he love me.but i dont feel it anymore. Is it if a guy love who u r how u look they still will have sex right?

[sadfa]

Yes
____________
Exchange points must say yes ma?

[enigma88]

Why don't you tell your hubby exactly how you feel. This kind of situation is usually the other way round - wife refusing sex. Maybe cos of work stress. Have a good chat with him.

[BonkerVenture]

Think u can open up to talk to him about what you think and your feeling

[Bungee]

I sympathize with you sister . Usually it is the wife who refused sex but in your case, it is the other way round. It is as one brother have mentioned earlier,very unusual especially in our asian society but there are such cases which I attribute to:-
1. stress related reasons related to his work. He may have work problems at the office like a difficult boss or colleagues who are not cooperative and difficult to work with.If he is in sales and marketing, he could be having problems fulfilling his quota or
2. medical related reasons affecting his male lipido and interest in sex. Suggests you ask him to go with you to see a family doctor if this is the reason.
3. you mentioned you are a bit plum. Suggests you slim down a bit so that you will look more sex-appealing to him and build up his lipido.
4. Lastly I think but hope it is not the case, he got someone else who is providing him all the sex and experience, draining him out and leaving him dry with nothing left for you!

[luvuass]

Ask him why, if there is any problem, solve it

[zenith123456]

It is entirely possible to love someone and yet not want to sleep with him/her. I suggest if u want to turn him on more, you should find ways to spice things up. I know it seems unfair, but when a man is disinterested, he's not going to take the initiative

[CumExplorer]

hi sis, if a man loves a woman he sure want to have lot of sex and lot of babies with her. dont believe those words

I think you already have problem before marriage, honestly and openly talk to him and see if can find anything ... i suggest you find some family related and marriage consulting org for help.

four years no sex is no joke for a young woman, and in 20s you should have as much more as possible of sex to fully enjoy the life.

hope you can solve your problem soon, otherwise just walk away from him. Dont let your body untouched and bed emptied any more.

[Andyly]

Maybe he too pressured to have kids. Sit him down, say sex is sex. Kids can come when it happens. when I have sex simply for procreation, I can't keep it up sometimes. when its just for fun. It 's go time anytime!

[username]

Maybe you can spice things up abit for both of you guys.
It be helpful

[assster]

How did he reject your advances?

Suggestion: Somedays when I am really stressed out and tired and did not want to have sex, my co will let me sleep, but start me off early the next day with a wakeup blowjob, no man will reject that!

[Wipedout]

Fat say fat, not 'a bit plump'. If you are out of shape, men will obviously find you unattractive.

If you are so bothered that he won't fuck you, use it as motivation to change your diet (note I said change, not go on a diet), and go work out with weights and a skipping rope(no stupid machines please. Yoga/pilates can be used to supplement, but not replace).

Anytime you feel like quitting, ask yourself if you want to remain fat and sexless.

[Fat Fatt]

Fat say fat, not 'a bit plump'. If you are out of shape, men will obviously find you unattractive.

If you are so bothered that he won't fuck you, use it as motivation to change your diet (note I said change, not go on a diet), and go work out with weights and a skipping rope(no stupid machines please. Yoga/pilates can be used to supplement, but not replace).

Anytime you feel like quitting, ask yourself if you want to remain fat and sexless.

I like this bro direct statement though may sound rude. You may need to face the problem directly and knowing it instead of denial will help you find the right solution.

I sympathize with you sister . Usually it is the wife who refused sex but in your case, it is the other way round. It is as one brother have mentioned earlier,very unusual especially in our asian society but there are such cases which I attribute to:-
1. stress related reasons related to his work. He may have work problems at the office like a difficult boss or colleagues who are not cooperative and difficult to work with.If he is in sales and marketing, he could be having problems fulfilling his quota or
2. medical related reasons affecting his male lipido and interest in sex. Suggests you ask him to go with you to see a family doctor if this is the reason.
3. you mentioned you are a bit plum. Suggests you slim down a bit so that you will look more sex-appealing to him and build up his lipido.
4. Lastly I think but hope it is not the case, he got someone else who is providing him all the sex and experience, draining him out and leaving him dry with nothing left for you!

Point 3 will likely be a part of the reason. It's not easy to lose weight but not too hard too， with determination sure can

[PandaFluff]

Fat say fat, not 'a bit plump'. If you are out of shape, men will obviously find you unattractive.

If you are so bothered that he won't fuck you, use it as motivation to change your diet (note I said change, not go on a diet), and go work out with weights and a skipping rope(no stupid machines please. Yoga/pilates can be used to supplement, but not replace).

Anytime you feel like quitting, ask yourself if you want to remain fat and sexless.

The actual question should be. Where you plump when you got married. If yes the above statement is pointless.

Sex does not mean he does not love you. Not at all. Maybe he has a low libido. Into days age it is not uncommen for men to have low libido. What I can say it nothing beats trying to talk about it. If that does not work you might need to see a professional

[sammyboyfor]

Maybe je has a low labido. Into days age it is not uncommen for men to have low labido. What is can say it nothing beast trying to talk about it. If that does not work you might need to see a professional

Libido not labido.

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/libido

[letsdo69]

Get to the root of prob. Best to talk I out. For me.. Once in love.. Will not care about size.

[HelloAngel]

Sex and love are separate matters. You can love someone without the need for sex or you can have sex without love too. Both are just needs that a human would like to have. Yes, sex is important in a marriage cos physical closeness do equates love to some people but it may not be a necessity for others. Some married people just do not like sex. They will show love in other ways sans the sex part. If your hubby shows you love in other ways, you cannot say he don't love you just because he doesn't like to have sex with you. At the other spectrum, some married men have sex with other women but still love their wives and family.

So you can either talk to your hubby about it again or see a counsellor to help both if you. Alternative find a fb to fulfill your needs. It's not the best solution but if it's just to fulfill a need, why not? Be careful not to fall in love with your fb cos it will complicate matters. Remember that sex, love and commitment are all separate components. The ideal relationship would be to have all three fulfilled with one person. Since you can't, then do it alacarte. :D

Oh and yes losing some weight might be good. Guys are born visual creatures so dolling up and taking care of your body would be a positive step. All the best TS!

[wondertimeman2]

How old your hubby?
He could be suffering from ED..or he has another woman. ...Need to communicate

[focaccia]

Got a friend sis also face same problem as TS but slightly better situation

She complained that her hubby stopped sex totally after giving birth which I might understand why. But to stop sex after marriage, I do not understand. Could there b other changes in life that TS hubby encountered so sex was rejected?

[samster101]

Nothing on planet earth will stop a man from wanting sex. Good mood, bad mood or no mood. Look around here for many examples. He is either getting it elsewhere or he has become gay.

[plumcot]

Nothing on planet earth will stop a man from wanting sex. Good mood, bad mood or no mood. Look around here for many examples. He is either getting it elsewhere or he has become gay.

Yes agreed with you.

[knn03]

May I suggest that you don't get too aggressive in your demand for sex....sometimes sex is also a 'hunting' process for guys and if he feels that he is the prey instead of the predator, it might not be so exciting for him.....

[hil169]

'love you no matter how you love' is subjective. Men are visual creatures afterall. To maintain oneself even after marriage is no a want but a need. Signing on the dotted line is the ending of one chapter and the beginning of the next chapter. Both require the partners, husband and wife, to put effort into the relationship, be it maintaining yourself through diet and workout or showing TLC, the idea is to remain attractive to each other. No one likes a lazy person imo..perhaps you can work on both (diet and workout to lose weight, and showing more TLC or seduce him subtlely)

[Wrigley]

Nothing on planet earth will stop a man from wanting sex. Good mood, bad mood or no mood. Look around here for many examples. He is either getting it elsewhere or he has become gay.

Well said bro.

[Wipedout]

By the way, it's a fallacy to claim that only men are turned onn visually. See this article http://seedmagazine.com/content/article/girls_gone_wild_for_monkeys/

'The researchers found that while straight men are only aroused by females of the human variety, straight women are equally aroused by all human sexual activity, including lesbian, heterosexual and homosexual male sex, and at least somewhat aroused by nonhuman sex.'

That's right, women get turned on watching animals fuck, much moreso than men.

[Marooner]

Well said bro.

Agreed here as well

[Superfluid]

I'll be frank with you and tell you he's getting it elsewhere.
Or... he could be having some medical condition.... or worse, financial issues.

But don't jump the gun yet... If he want to, he will admit to you... and once or twice is not considered as initiative. You can give him surprise blowjobs. It works for me... i die die have to fuck, right?

Try shaving or waxing... as in totally everything gone if you have not done so before. It works wonders too.

Last but not least. Losing weight is a hard and long process, but it benefits you in more ways than one. Get some motivation from friends to slim down.

[WaitingHere]

Agreed here as well

Agreed here as well too

[Yardstick]

Very strange... after the very first post to start the thread, TS just disappear...

[sensualshirley]

Give good blowjob! :p

[asker_01]

Seems to me maybe holiday starting somewhere....

[itsabt6x]

Very strange... after the very first post to start the thread, TS just disappear...
Maybe the husband saw her post here & is now giving her a good screw everyday in every way.

[dark3r]

this kind reasons only got a few

work too tiring causing no drive
stress over money / uncertainties causing no mood
very unattractive / boring partner
no good shiok experience with partner

[mandyiee]

Hi all, sorrry for the late update.
These few week we have a big fight, everything goes in a mess. Now i know y he neglet me.2 week ago i caught him msg a girl frm fb ask for number and he offer her a ride hm that where we start the flight.. His heart already dont have me. And told me he is not longer interested in me. That make me break down n feel that no point being together. I have to walk out. But i told him a condition i wan the whole house.he cant have his share.since he has already no heart in this marriage y must i have him the house right? y is he so heartless? Recently we jus bought new car.i know he wan it. I nv consider much i use my own saving for the downpayment. (Mainly my money abt 20k) i treat him so well yet he treat me like gong kia. All my bro n sis n parent ask me to leave him. No longer keep him by my side he jus make use of me.but we have being together for almost 9 years. How can i say give up like that?

[daryl76]

right from start, it points to one thing isnt it?
just need a confirmation which i guess TS had gotten it

[Sjiaojiao]

you should discuss with your family and consult a lawyer to protect your rights.

If you have a job, please do perform well.

Keep it personal and within your family.

[Nickochee]

Husband want go let him go lor. As u said ur plump n maybe he likes a more attractive partner.

Go clean up ur act n find another guy la. Whats so difficult.

[Vectra]

Oh and yes losing some weight might be good. Guys are born visual creatures so dolling up and taking care of your body would be a positive step. All the best TS!

The rest is not as important except this:D

She already said she is plump and being reject for sex. How many guys would reject sex. That's the root cause :D

[dgsk]

It is obvious that the man married for the money.

Listen to your family and let him go.

You wasted 9 years, you want to waste another how many more years? And how much more money?

Mid-20s you still have a chance to find someone in the next few years. But you need to change your image, and your life. Stay longer and your chances drop very very fast.

[sammicheng1000]

Hi all, sorrry for the late update.
These few week we have a big fight, everything goes in a mess. Now i know y he neglet me.2 week ago i caught him msg a girl frm fb ask for number and he offer her a ride hm that where we start the flight.. His heart already dont have me. And told me he is not longer interested in me. That make me break down n feel that no point being together. I have to walk out. But i told him a condition i wan the whole house.he cant have his share.since he has already no heart in this marriage y must i have him the house right? y is he so heartless? Recently we jus bought new car.i know he wan it. I nv consider much i use my own saving for the downpayment. (Mainly my money abt 20k) i treat him so well yet he treat me like gong kia. All my bro n sis n parent ask me to leave him. No longer keep him by my side he jus make use of me.but we have being together for almost 9 years. How can i say give up like that?
It's just a matter of time but the longer u drag the longer u are at a disadvantage. Time is not a Friend to female. If u want out better out fast. It's lucky no children, it will only make it worst. Now go out and find a new one. U already wasted 9 years. Wake up and start anew.

[HelloAngel]

The rest is not as important except this:D

She already said she is plump and being reject for sex. How many guys would reject sex. That's the root cause :D

My bf does reject sex sometimes when I tease him at night cos he said too tired so sleep first. But next morning he makes it up. Hahaaa!

I think a good relationship should be based on more than sex. Regular sex connects a couple but if together just for sex, then the relationship won't last. It's gotto be more than that. I guess TS found her answer.

[porscheclub]

Mid-twenties is so young. You have a long way ahead!

Get a new life & new body for your own happiness.

[superdupercheek]

go to a sex shop, buy a dildo, vibrator or horse dick toy.

just masturbate when hes around, watch some porn while doing so. make sure he sees you. remind him of what hes missing out on.

i dont know about other guys, but that'll probably work on me

[Vectra]

My bf does reject sex sometimes when I tease him at night cos he said too tired so sleep first. But next morning he makes it up. Hahaaa!

I think a good relationship should be based on more than sex. Regular sex connects a couple but if together just for sex, then the relationship won't last. It's gotto be more than that. I guess TS found her answer.

True that in a sense need more than just sex(Of course the more the merrier) but the case is so obvious that his hubby is looking for sex as main objective...


You sure your bf tired or expended his ammo outside? :D

[freezetheDB]

sometimes no mood, plus not turned on. For a guy to want to have sex there require his dick to be hard. If his mind if off, turn him on with a nice bbbj. If he wants to CIM let him. It is important to realign his mind to associate you with pleasure. Soon he may be thinking about how nice his cock feels in your mouth and feel turned on whenever he is alone with you, then proceed to fuck from then on.

sometimes a man's mind is bogged by work and stress that he is so tired to think about fucking someone who is not new.

[Vectra]

sometimes no mood, plus not turned on. For a guy to want to have sex there require his dick to be hard. If his mind if off, turn him on with a nice bbbj. If he wants to CIM let him. It is important to realign his mind to associate you with pleasure. Soon he may be thinking about how nice his cock feels in your mouth and feel turned on whenever he is alone with you, then proceed to fuck from then on.

sometimes a man's mind is bogged by work and stress that he is so tired to think about fucking someone who is not new.

From an older man in the 50s who told me, males being males will always be looking for sex ventures even till 60....Not sure about females :p

[wintrixxx]

time to bail out imo. take the house and whatever else you want. he can have his pie, but you should not lose out on the money you have put in, considering how much time you have already wasted on him

[tattybear]

Hi all, sorrry for the late update.
These few week we have a big fight, everything goes in a mess. Now i know y he neglet me.2 week ago i caught him msg a girl frm fb ask for number and he offer her a ride hm that where we start the flight.. His heart already dont have me. And told me he is not longer interested in me. That make me break down n feel that no point being together. I have to walk out. But i told him a condition i wan the whole house.he cant have his share.since he has already no heart in this marriage y must i have him the house right? y is he so heartless? Recently we jus bought new car.i know he wan it. I nv consider much i use my own saving for the downpayment. (Mainly my money abt 20k) i treat him so well yet he treat me like gong kia. All my bro n sis n parent ask me to leave him. No longer keep him by my side he jus make use of me.but we have being together for almost 9 years. How can i say give up like that?

Leave him for good. Pursuing ur next happiness...

[ourworld]

Hi all reader, im been a silent reader for years. Recently i really cannot take it need some advise from you guys. Im a lady mid 20s .im plump. Married for nearly 4 yrs.no kid.we have been together for 9years. My husband n i did not have sex after married. When ever i ask him for sex he decline n go to sleep or ask me to sleep. I did quarrel w him many time for this leave .after living for 4 year together everyday was boring so i wanted a baby he look like he does not want any.now he blame me to eating the pill when we are dating.i did think of leaving him as this married w no kids n sex make me not worth it. He always day he love me.but i dont feel it anymore. Is it if a guy love who u r how u look they still will have sex right?



This sounds like a serious problem,,
If you want so advise,, please PM us,,
I'm a female,, 30 this year,,
Married with a son,,,
Hubby and I have been together 8 years,,,
Dating for 3,, married for 5,,,
We are still keeping our sex alive like wild fire!
Trust me,,, we have a thread and it is overwhelming,,


PM us,,, as a wife myself, I would like to share more with you,,,

[super_marvel]

If you need someone to talk to, pm me... hope I can be of help