rouselouse
03-02-2013, 11:54 PM
OPENING LETTER
Dear Sammyboy,
I have not scoured the virtual land of free speech for you. Although I must admit, I did find you at a time when I was exploring my sexuality many years ago. I thought you were disgusting, and rife with old men, taking panty shots and wanking over images of the innocent women who were of the same age as me, or younger even, then.
They were innocent, and unknowingly being raped in the eyes of a faceless grown man.
But with time and experience, hard won triumphs from reckless mistakes and close shaves grows a certain kind of numbness. Like the callous skin you grow in your fingertips when you learn to play a guitar.
You learn that there are some things you can't change, so you block the bits that you can't help out of your mind and focus on the things you can. Because you learn to be calculative. Even if you can't quantify the measure of your insignificance, you understand it.
You learn to look away and accept that everyone has their flaws.
And you learn the flaws of your own.
And in someways I think I've come to understand the inner operative of a Sammyboy. I've never been with a whore. But regardless what we do to get off, or the moral implications and grayness we live in, at the heart of all of us who reside when they have the time is I think, not lust, but loneliness.
So if you will permit me, I would like to share the perfectly adequate, quietly exciting, shy, traumatizing yet imaginarily daring experiences of a young boy, recently turned adult, ready to share some short coming of age stories (with light sexual content) of his younger self.
Dear Sammyboy,
I have not scoured the virtual land of free speech for you. Although I must admit, I did find you at a time when I was exploring my sexuality many years ago. I thought you were disgusting, and rife with old men, taking panty shots and wanking over images of the innocent women who were of the same age as me, or younger even, then.
They were innocent, and unknowingly being raped in the eyes of a faceless grown man.
But with time and experience, hard won triumphs from reckless mistakes and close shaves grows a certain kind of numbness. Like the callous skin you grow in your fingertips when you learn to play a guitar.
You learn that there are some things you can't change, so you block the bits that you can't help out of your mind and focus on the things you can. Because you learn to be calculative. Even if you can't quantify the measure of your insignificance, you understand it.
You learn to look away and accept that everyone has their flaws.
And you learn the flaws of your own.
And in someways I think I've come to understand the inner operative of a Sammyboy. I've never been with a whore. But regardless what we do to get off, or the moral implications and grayness we live in, at the heart of all of us who reside when they have the time is I think, not lust, but loneliness.
So if you will permit me, I would like to share the perfectly adequate, quietly exciting, shy, traumatizing yet imaginarily daring experiences of a young boy, recently turned adult, ready to share some short coming of age stories (with light sexual content) of his younger self.